Sounds Like both your daughter and your granddaughter need help, Well done for starting that process and not ignore the situation!  Listen to everyone, you need help to help them and the best people would be Social services, don't forget yourself in this.  As the primary carer you need help too.  I wish your whole family all the best at this difficult time.

And while it may not seem helpful, and you may not be religious, remember that we are only ever given obsticals in this life that we are able to overcome in order to learn and grow.  Love and light to all three of you. xxx

I have to say that everyone is making a judgment on third party information, and we cannot possibly be aware of all the facts.  As with chines whispers some information can be lost along the way, and  secondly it can be prejudiced by the fact that it comes from the daughter who was annoyed by the dog, and apparently did not even care that it died.  

As a person who has been a dog owner for over half my life, I can say that putting a dog to sleep which I have done twice is the most hardest and most painful thing I have ever had to do, and much more painful that losing an animal who has died naturally.   The guilt of deciding when an animal should die, just compounds the feeling of loss, and the whole thing is awful.  

Putting an animal to sleep is not an emotionally easy thing to do, nor financially.  Your would be shocked by how expensive it is.  If they were seriously "killing the dog because it pooed on the floor" an easier and less human option would have been to open the front door, and kick it out onto the street.  

Putting an animal to sleep, is done very sensitively and humanly.  If they are in pain, they are given an injection to take their pain away, then one to fall asleep and finally in their sleep one to extinguish life.  This is not abusive.

Also the dog was 12 years old, in human terms you are talking about (64 years for small, 69 for medium breads, to 77 years for large breads).  That is a long time, perticulay for large breads as I have shown.  And with old age come illnesses.  My mum had a great dane and when he was eight, he messed on the floor, she had him checked out because this was not normal for him and the vet said he had cancer, he died 3 days later!  He also only had one accident on the floor.

In contrast two years ago, my toy poodle died in her sleep, 5 years before she died, she had an unexplained spinal injury, she was paralised from the waist down.  When I took her to the vet, the first thing they talked about was putting her down.  I was horrified, so they offered an operation, her chances of surviving the operation was only 30% but I wanted to give her a chance.  The chance that she would be able to walk was 40% but I was hopeful.  The operation cost £2500, and could only be done by a vet who lived 2 hours drive away.  I took her because I could  not bear to put her down!  

She survived and she walked again, but she was incontinent for the rest of her life and suffered form pain every day.  She was on medication to control the pain, but her quality of life was awful.  I could not take her for walks because it was to much for her.  I was told her spine would always be weak and sensitive, so I never allowed her to play with other dogs again in fear that they could injure her, I gave birth to my son, and they were never allowed to play with each other, because I had to bath her several times a day (due to her incontinence)  and I did not want her getting hurt.  Did I make the right decision, NO!  Not because it put me in debt, but because I gave her a life filled with pain and misery which was no life at all.  I should have been braver and let her go, instead of dragging out her life and it was horrible.  I abused both of us, buy not putting her down at this point in her life.  I feel unable to have another dog again.

I do not feel that we can judge this one case on the limited information we have been given, the dog may have been abused, but from the information you have given, I just hear an angry person trying to make out their parents are horrible.

Before I label anything I would want more information, how did the dog live during his 12 years? how did he behave, was he scared and behaved like he was maltreated, was he malnourished?  Was he locked up or taken for walks, was he played with, or ignored?

Life is not black or white, it's great that your asking, that you care, but for the truth you need to ask a lot more questions.  Not just from your friend, but perhaps also from your friends parents!

Hope this helps you find the answer to your question.

As a mother of two, the answer is none!!  no book can prepare you for motherhood, most books just cover the pregnancy but its the 18 years that follow you need to think about.  If your still pregnant sleep, get lots and lots of sleep and read about when they are older because once they are born you wont get time to read and if you do, you will probably only going to be playing catch up!

Also think about how to look after you, maybe learn how to meditate or relaxation techniques, a good mum is one who looks after herself, your no good to your child if your falling apart!

Most importantly listen to your instincts  the world will be full of people like me giving you advice when you don't want or need it.  Listen to yourself, you are the only person who knows yourself, your body and your child best!

Congratulations, hope all goes the way you want it, and that your new family will be very happy!!

In my personal experience I cannot get motivated if I don't want with all my heart the end of result, no matter how beneficial it would be to my life, unless I am 100% in the moment of feeling that I want it, it does not work.  So think about what you want and feel yourself having achieved it, in a way that you are truly happy.

For example, my friend was diagnosed as diabetic, and was told to give up about 80% of her diet, she LOVES all things sweet!  she knows that if she does not she could die, her husband was upset with her and she has a new baby, all good reasons to do it, but she can't because in her hart of harts she does not want to give up her food.

SO I asked her what she wanted, she said to eat what she wants and be healthy.  She visulised what that would be like and feels like and  after about two months of doing this she is know in a place where she is choosing for herself healthy -not because her husband tells her to, not because she knows she can die, or her child will be motherless but because she has found a feeling place in-herself that made it OK for her.  Hope that made sense and was helpful.

Good luck :)

The best advise would be to look on line, you have already been given one site, another would be: http://www.dogsandpuppies.co.uk but not sure if they would have anything local.  

You could also contact the kennel club for breeders in your are, or try the local dogs home.  All types of dogs are looking for a new home, even pedigrees.

Good luck in finding your new best friend for life.

When you get the right answer, let me know, coz I am right there with you.

I cant give you the opportunity because I don't have one, however I would like to make a suggestion that might help you find the right doors you need to succeed.   

I am a strong believer in positive thinking and affirmations, and love the book "the  secret" which shows you that even though you do not have the power over your environment  by controlling yourself, things will just natural work out the way you need them to.

OK that sounds very airy fairy, but hay what have you got to lose, knowledge is power.  Good luck to you, hope you find what you need :)

Sounds like an interesting book, in what way do you want to present it.  As in, bringing it up in a conversation, or to a publisher or just the way the book looks?

What ever the context of your question, you have been inspired, shown your competence and done the work required to produce a book, feel proud of your self and your accomplishment and presenting it the way you feel appropriate, after all who wouldn't be interested :)

It is very very hard!,  I think most people think it is easy, but in reality it is not, it means listening to someone and allowing them to speak and to hear them (without adding your own feelings, suggestions,  experiences, or judgments).  It gives the person who is talking an oppetunity to address more than the concern but helps them to discover the root of their concerns and sometimes even the solution, without your intervention.

Unless you have experienced what it is like to be truly listened to, I don't think you would know what it is like.  I am 36 years old and it has only been in the last year that I have learnt how it is done and experienced it for myself.  I still cannot do it, but I practise, in hope that one day I will be able to.

When someone truly hears you, it is amazing.  I had it once when on a course, I had to listen to someone and I was trying the skills I had been shown, it was so hard for me.... but when we were asked to review, I wanted to say how badly I had done, I was so self conscious about how all I wanted to do was screaming solutions, and explanations, and how I felt I was not listening because I hardly spoke, but my partner said that she felt a connection between us that was stronger then she had experienced with anyone else, she felt herd, and relieved.

This type of listening is hard, not because your expected to understand what they are saying or understand their feelings, or be sympathetic because of what they are saying, but because you have to understand and not inter-fear   That is not to say your not allowed to talk, but you have to hear that what they are saying belongs to them and them alone, and even if you have experienced the same thing, been in the same place, know how to fix it 100% guaranteed, not to share!

I am still learning, hope this helps to explain what it is like for me to practice listening empathetic-ally.  .... HARD :)

sorry computer to slow, posted twice by mistake.