3 Answers

I can imagine all sorts of circumstances that have left you feeling so hurt and distressed. I may not know the exact one but I do know similar feelings.

Please imagine what your feelings will be in the last moments of your life. I know... it takes a bit of effort to imagine yourself at that point, but try.

You are about to die... everything that you have is to be left behind. Not only all your possessions, friends, family, but YOU as well. Your ability to feel, even. Imagine your whole life as having been carefully constructed to be a gift. All your thoughts and feelings and actions and experiences combine to make a totally unique gift... that is yourself.

You are going to give that gift, with all its attributes to.... what? God? The Universe? The Future? Humanity? Gather it all up to leave / give as a testament.

Is there anything to forgive? Anyone? Forgiveness is the last thing in your purview. You can forgive the Universe for the pain you have experienced. And the person who caused it. Because without their action which hurts you so much right now, your gift would not be as it is. Forgiveness can be the last thing you ever do.

But you could do it now, and thank then instead.

13 years ago. Rating: 3
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Yes. I had to forgive my father who made me feel like a worthless piece of crap growing up because he would tell me I was a worthless piece of crap while beating me (did the same to all his kids). In order to heal, you have to let go, forgive and move on. Once you can do that, all your inner strengths come rushing forward again and you can believe in yourself which leads you to believing in and trusting people again.

13 years ago. Rating: 2
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Somehow, someway, you need to find a way to look at whatever that person did to you, and realize they did it out of their own ignorance. We never have to like what was done, but realize we are not responsible for someone else's bad actions, or choices, although we were the recipient of those actions and choices.
We need to realize otherwise good people make mistakes, for all humans do. Often times, alcohol or drugs plays a major part in some really bad things happening in this world.
Do we need to push ourselves to trust that person like we once did? I would say no. Because our not trusting someone is a natural defense against someone repeating what they did before, and trust is something someone earns.
Having lived through what has created pain today, will give you strength tomorrow...in that you will already know what you are capable of enduring, while not having withered up and blown away.
When all is said and done, you will find freedom by not carrying the burden of hating someone. Why carry that burden, when someone else created the circumstances surrounding it? I choose not to.
It may sound odd and out of place. But speaking for myself, I know that praying for those that have hurt us, allows us to find peace in our mind and heart, and the ability to move on. As far and seperated from the subject as it might seem, it works.
I grew up with two alcoholic parents, and lived the nightmare of not even wanting to go in the house until they were ready to go to bed. Believe it or not, I still carry a scar on my lip where my teeth got drove through it, from when my father punched me in the face and knocked me clear across the room as a 10 year old boy. Today, as a father myself, I have never raised a hand or my voice toward my daughter...never will. I learned from someone else, what I didn't want to become myself. I hope this helps get a handle on what you are going through.

13 years ago. Rating: 2
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