It finally came to my Dorctor issuing an order to stay away for two and a half month. About three weeks into this time away she breaks her leg , has surgery and goes to a rehab ctr for the next month. She came home a week ago. The doctors order is up in a week or so. I feel so many things. Simply devastated, because she has continued to wield her evilness on me from the rehab ctr and even this week at home. II had a severe Stroke and am still recovering, years now and moved to be near hear her in the last few years for her failing health. I go to her house a mile away and cook, clean, shop, entertain, theater, set up parties for her,schlep, and do and do and do, putting all my own basic care for my self, home not just on the shelf but out the back door and into the next galaxy. My niece is helping her this week and at the end of the third day was herself at her wits end. Mom has millions literally and can pay for care but she and her husband have not taken that move to hire out for help. She does have a house cleaner 4 hrs a week yet I must clean up the house before the maid comes. After taking her to the movies and fixing a fast meal so I could then take her to bible study that night at 6pm I put just a few drops of soy sauce on her noodle and vegi bowl. She protested for more soy and I added few more drops saying we were all trying to cut the salt in our diets. She yelled ELDER ABUSE, ELDER ABUSE. I calmly walked back over to her and said that was uncalled for and unwarranted. We finished eating and I drove her to bible study making arrangements for another study goer to drive her home. Then I went to the doctor 2 days later. I did visit her in hospital after leg break and also at rehab ctr once , called on Mothers day and here I am. Still distraught. We have been through this time and again but I always feel so unloved unwanted, not good enough, that I am never up to par all the while doing above and beyond for her enduring the verbal and emotional and mental abuse from her. I have been in tears most of the two months now with a few days doing much of the things I love like re-potting plants and organizing closets. I don't want to have this remaining time be bad but not wanting to have regret after the inevitable loss upon a death. Hers or mine. Do I suck it up endure the abuse and get over it again again again or maybe a distanced relationship like just phone calls and still have some what of a relationship with her. I am in so much pain. Missing the love I crave from her although as sick as it is for me to crave a mother that undermines and shows indifference and with holds her compassion. I feels like an abused significant other, battered partner. But, I am a daughter seeking to love and honor a mother and be loved by a Mother. My Mother. I know I must be sure to love and honor myself as well. Please let the light in. It is so dark in here. Any help is gratefully hoped for. Hope is a good thing. Love and thank you.