Kalabra36
11 Answers
mom
Best answer!
It is very difficult to stand outside of a relationship and make judgement as to how and when a woman should leave. You never know what is going on inside that relationship. Sometimes women become very co dependant on their husbands and it is fear of how they will make it on their own or fear of what he will do when she wants to leave, fear of hurting him, the list of fears could go on. I stayed with my husband for 15 years but was afraid of him and what he would do. I finally reached a breaking point and left. I had to hide in shelters with my kids and involve the police. I didn't have a clue how we were going to make it, but life always works out...ALWAYS!!!I have to say that waiting for the right time is not the answer because there will never be a right time...it just has to be now.The first thing she will need is a good support network (friends , family) so if need be, she will have the help needed. She has to make up her mind and be strong, tell him with her mind made up that it is done.It doesn't have to be cruel but it has to be final.There are many organizations out there available for support and friends are amazing when you are in need.It's not easy to tear apart the world you are used to but you only have one life...it's not meant to be miserable
| 13 years ago. Rating: 0 | |
ed shank
friday
well simply said I wld have to agree. I wasnt happy with my husband of 13 years and we have 2 children. I woke up one day and said to myself that's it no more. Spoke to him that night we went for a walk on the beach and told him I havent been happy for a long time and I wanted out of the marriage . we now share the children 50-50 and my life has never been better. I have found myself again and grown so much as a parent and a person since then. I would recommend it to anyone who is not happy. I was so unhappy I had migraines that were killing me slowly. A week after seperation, gone. Life is way too short to be unhappy. we were never meant to spend one whole lifetime with just one person. We are meant to have many lives in our one life and its only up to you to do something about it, noone else can for you. Be brave be strong and dont look back, look forward to a brighter happier future :-)
| 13 years ago. Rating: 1 | |
I think friday's answer is more than reasonable. She handled this situation in a way that I would have advised, and she seems to be happy as a result. Use her answer as a starting place, but also feel free to talk to a minister, or a close friend if you are afraid. Just never "poison the well" by venting your feelings on people that you and your husband both share. It can be very, very hard to rectify hard feelings once you've vented your feelings on common friends or family (and never talk badly about your husband to your kids).
Not all men are that reasonable or women that strong. Many women live in fear of the subsequent consequences. Far too many today end up dead after many years of abuse. Some are fortumate to be able to get into a Women's Shelter before it is too late. Most are not. We live in a very violent world today.
Darci13
anonymous_sender
David1
encourager
What I hear you saying in the question is, why do I continue to stay with a man who is abusing me in one way or the other, whether it be his addiction, cheating, financial problems, physical of mental abuse etc. The answer is because women usually are afraid of insecurity in their life, first. The problem is indulging a spouse never ever ever leads to the behavior change which is sought. NEVER. The problem only gets worse until there is a critical event like , hospitaliztion in the case of abuse, or some type of encounter with the police. Even after a few of those , some women refuse to admit they ae trapped in a relatonship which is going no where fast,which will never improve , and often will lead to a horrible demise one way or the other. So seek professional help now. Especially if children are involved.
| 13 years ago. Rating: 0 | |
mscutipiez
not so easy to DIVORCE ... when having kids... well i dont know what ur situation is ya dont do things that cud aggravate it more... not sayin u start to tolerate him unnecessarily but ya try to improve in ways u wud like it or he wud like things... that helps... men dont like bossy women... avoid it as much as possible... well i'm myself in that dilemma... but giving up or just walking away is never a solution but ya when its never ending then leaving is the only solution ;)
| 13 years ago. Rating: 0 | |
Kalabra36
kewlone
simply say i want to SEPARATE! and i believe temporary separation would be a better idea to start with, becoz later you have a choice to stay together or not, and if you think its better without then file a divorce :) and there are many reasons of a woman to continue with it becoz she likes giving chances and keep trying and never gives up so easily esp. if she loves her man ;)
| 13 years ago. Rating: 0 | |
Angel
Always go with your gut feeling, if you know it's over then stop 'plodding' along as you will only begin to hate and blame the other party simply because you do not have the guts to get out and it's not fair on them. I know that's easy to say but having been there myself, i wish i had done it a lot sooner than i did. I suffered more mentally when still in the relationship than i did in the immediate aftermath of leaving. I hurt him dreadfully but time really does heal and we both realise now it was for the best. It was changing me being with him,and i began to hate myself and him, which was unfair as i had simply fallen out of love with him and i knew i could never recover that. I brought him down with me which wasn't fair.
Have good friends around you and always talk, but always trust your instinct.
| 13 years ago. Rating: 0 | |
great answer, obviously intelligent person, go with it, some of us cant love forever.