Ever since i was around 8, i've taken up playing violin because my bigger sibling was getting all of the attention. I found its something that takes more effort than i thought, i immediately wanted to quit.

My mother said after its been a year i may since ill have the experience, a year passes, and she doesn't let me quit because she's spent too much on lessons for me to quit.

I have already asked her about this situation, she gives me a long talk about the economy, how my hobbies i actually like to do wont be as much paying as a violinist would be, etc.
Not too sure if she realizes, but ive had many 'existential crisis' (sort of in the sense of existance, in a sense of 'getting out there' into the big world of employment) induced from those many speeches on the economy, how life is hard, it may have been really premature of them to do.

It's just playing violin, I often remind myself, but every time i go to practice or have a lesson i remember how foolishly i began just to be noticed, feel a sense of being a deep irrelevancy and all. It's been years and this feeling is really unbearable.