4 Answers
First, I would look at the relationship I have with the person and see what I might have said or done to cause the problems. Then, I would contact the person and express myself thoughtfully and in a non-confrontational manner, explaining what has hurt my feelings and why I feel that I am being attacked. I would include the observations about my own participation in creating the disagreement.
Accusing the other person of malice is fairly aggressive, so I would be careful not to suggest that someone is deliberately being mean, even if you believe that to be so. A disagreement is not going to be resolved with accusations being tossed about. "I feel" statements are what many therapists recommend rather than "You always".
Sometimes, you will find the other person feeling very much the same way. It's a good thing to do and can help put the friendship back on a positive footing.
Finally, you have to be prepared to hear things you may not like, be willing to see the other side of the story in an objective way, and respect a view that is contrary to your own...or not. There are times when the gap in values is greater than the care you and your friend may have for one another.
8 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
Once the process is complete, we are either wiser, more careful, cynical, or stupid enough to believe "this" could never happen again. No one is ever the same.