4 Answers

Jules, you need to add Fairy Dust for 'Magic Mushrooms'.   :)

Did you "plant" them right?

Shiitake mushrooms are traditionally grown outdoors on seasoned hardwood logs — preferably oak, although maple, birch, poplar, aspen, beech, and other species have also been used successfully. Shiitake spawn won't do well on live or green wood, however, nor is it likely to survive on deadfall wood, or on stock contaminated by lichens or other fungi. It's necessary, therefore, to cut logs for shiitake cultivation from freshly felled trees or just-trimmed limbs.

For the sake of manageability, the stock should measure between three and six inches in diameter. Fell the trees in late fall or winter, when they're leafless and when the wood's sugar content is highest and most beneficial to fungus growth. Then cut the logs into 40-inch lengths, being careful to keep the bark intact — the bark is a critical requirement for fruiting. It's important, too, to get the wood up off the ground immediately, to avoid contamination from other organisms. Any logs that appear to be diseased or that have fungus growing on them should be used only for firewood.

Stack the billets out of the sun and wind to cure, making sure to leave spaces between the logs for air to circulate freely. A shady spot in the woods under a stand of pines is an ideal place to season logs; or, if necessary, you can create a suitable environment by building (or planting) a windbreak and using a tarpaulin for shade. If you live in an area where there is much rainfall, you may need to keep a cover over the wood. Snow, on the other hand, does no harm to the wood.

Here's the website address if you need more info:
http://www.motherearthnews.com/organic-gardening/growing-shiitake-mushrooms-zmaz86jfzglo.aspx

Dim lights and a little romantic music might do the trick.

Maybe you need to put manure on it    ;-)