Rural Australia Computer Terminology -
Getting ready for Broadband in the bush!!

• Alittle bit of Aussie culcha

LOGON:Adding wood to make thebarbie hotter
LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.
MONITOR:Keeping an eye on the barbie.
DOWNLOAD:Getting the firewood off the Ute.
HARD DRIVE:Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.
KEYBOARD:Where you hang the Ute keys.
WINDOW:What you shut when the weather's cold.
SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season..
BYTE: What mozzies do
MEGABYTE:What Townsville mozzies do.
CHIP:A pub snack.
MICROCHIP:What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.
MODEM:What you did to the lawns.
LAPTOP:Where the cat sleeps.
SOFTWARE:Plastic knives & forks you get at Red Rooster.
HARDWARE:Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart.

MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
MAINFRAME:What holds the shed up.
WEB:What spiders make.
WEBSITE:Usually in the shed, the dunny or under the verandah.
SEARCH ENGINE:What you do when the Ute won't go.
CURSOR:What you say when the Ute won't go.
YAHOO:What you say when the Ute does go.

UPGRADE:A steep hill.
SERVER:The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
MAIL SERVER:The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
USER:The neighbour who keeps borrowing stuff.

NETWORK:What you do when you need to go fishing.

INTERNET:Where you want the fish to go.
NETSCAPE:What the fish do when they discover a hole in the net.

ONLINE:Where you hang the washing.

OFFLINE:Where the washing ends up when the pegsaren't strong enough.