<tt style="background-color: #ffffff;">My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but got canned.</tt>

<tt style="background-color: #ffffff;">I couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, 
so they gave me the axe.
After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - 
mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too 
exhausting.
Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my 
life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut 
the mustard.
My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any 
patience.
Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live 
on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, 
but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit 
for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a
job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was 
always the same old grind.
SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB.</tt>