Bob/PKB
My son's girlfriend is unpleasant and disrespectful. She has been extremely ugly to me and I truly believe she is a "black widow"....my son will eventually be very sorry he got mixed up with her. The idea of inviting her into my home repulses me.
I'm willing to miss my son and grandson on special (and not-so-special) occasions rather than be around this person (and her kids) as my son feels I must invite her and her children if I invite him.
QUESTION: Would you "bite the bullet" and suffer the insufferable, or accept that you will be setting one less plate at the holiday/occasion table?
7 Answers
Ducky
Best answer!
I've gotten to an age where I do what I can to ignore stressful situations. As long as people behave in a reasonable way, we can socialize. Otherwise, they can do their own thing and leave me out of it. Surely as we get older, we should be enjoying life more than ever, not stressing out because of people who treat us badly. Best of luck with your decision.
| 9 years ago. Rating: 11 | |
ROMOS
If you invite "them" it will only prolong the problem, I know you will miss your son and the kids but it's time he realises just how serious you are about this woman, hopefully some day he comes to his senses and the situation can be resolved amicably (somehow I can't see that happening) knowing what you have told us about her. I would do the same.
Good luck.
| 9 years ago. Rating: 10 | |
jhharlan
My folks would have accepted her but they were old school and I never would have heard the end of it were it me. Hold your ground, P………...
| 9 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
pythonlover
If her presence makes for a depressing day don't put yourself through it.Your son should respect your wishes. Or you can grin and bear it just so you can see your grandson.
| 9 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
robertgrist
Most folk who are unusually cranky and very difficult to get along with are experiencing stress and/or pain that they don't understand and think; mistakenly, that their pain is coming from other people or things in their environment. Their comments about themselves and their bodies are the REAL problem but is denied and protected from exposure. This oddity-behavior of protecting secret pain can be rooted out and exposed by gaining trust , expressing personal pain of a similar nature based on the observed clues from the rant-acker along with a surprising personal happy conclusion suggesting comic relief.
Secret drug addiction "on a Jones" can be very harsh...like quitting smoking cigarettes which involves addiction, finding sexual activity painful and secretly witheld as a fact.
| 9 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
My son's girlfriend is unpleasant and disrespectful. She has been extremely ugly to me and I truly believe she is a "black widow"....
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-equation/201210/black-widows-the-web
I agree with Ducky, and am under no obligation to subject myself to people I find unpleasant in order to pacify anybody, especially in my own home.
I don't know exactly what you are trying to say to me, but it sounds like you think I have stress and pain that stem from my personal assessment of myself. What this has to do with her being an ugly wart has gone right over my head. I didn't ask for clinical evaluations from laymen or professionals. I asked for "from the heart" responses from people who could imagine the situation and empathize, whether they agreed with me or not.
mycatsmom
My opinion is........as long as he's not married to her, you're under no obligation to invite her for the holidays or anything. She prob doesn't want to come anyway.
| 9 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
bustieone
I wish I had the golden ticket answer for you Bob. I think all have given great options, seems most think that you are under no obligation to invite her. I know that you are damn if you do, damn if you don't. I think that ultimately you will do what is correct for you, as only you live with the dynamics of this. Good luck and best regards.
| 9 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
