Bob/PKB
So said my 3 year old granddaughter to the pastor during "Children's Message" this morning. She was looking pix of her daddy (my son), kissing each one, hugging it to her and saying, "I love my daddy", which leads me to believe HE doesn't make her sad and cry. Daddy isn't doing well financially, and Mommy is a meth addict/alcoholic. I've separated myself from them because (1) I really loathe HER, and; (2) My son keeps tangling up his life with her. (It's hard to believe they love each other, but I'll pass on the gory details). Now he's gone and done something which could put him in serious trouble and I'm even more NOT wanting to be around them (although I'll always love my son, I really am disgusted with how stupid he is).
I would like both of them, and her parents, to know how the little girl feels. She is a lovable, inquisitive, amazing little girl, but even if she were a spoiled brat, no child should ever feel like this.
(I took them to the dollar store, 3 things each. She picked out something for her brother with her third choice.)
OK, I'm rambling. What would you do in a situation like this, where you don't want to stick your nose into "it" anymore. (HER mother is very opinionated; I've avoided confrontations with her and the husband....an alcoholic, even when she stood in the middle of my living room and hollered at my son, accusing him of things I know were untrue)
Helpful contributions only, please. Anything else is abusive.
12 Answers
Ducky
Bob, this situation is way over your head and I'm not saying that as an insult to you. It's just too complicated, deep, involved, problematic. They need some serious intervention by the professionals....psychiatrists, psychologists, addiction counsellors, CPS (perhaps) and maybe the pastor is the starting point. Some professionals are obligated to report these matters to the appropriate place, once they are made aware. Perhaps the pastor is such a person and could help you with this? YOU cannot handle all of this.
| 10 years ago. Rating: 14 | |
jhharlan
ROMOS
If there are social services in your area who actually care about their community it's time for them to get involved, my son works in this service in Scotland and they can really make a difference,my heart feels for you in this situation, I'm an old fart with quick solutions,one punch solves all, I know that doesn't always work,as I say, I'm an old fart!
| 10 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
Tommyh
pythonlover
I know first hand what damage can be done to innocent children by their selfish parents behavior.If you feel your granddaughter is showing signs of emotional abuse, some authority figure has to intervene for the childs sake.The child protection services does not have to be viewed as the enemy, they are there to help. It is sad and unfair that some kids are born into dysfunctional families.
| 10 years ago. Rating: 9 | |
bustieone
Bob, you may not have to do anything, if the clergy is a true professional, he will do what the law requires. As public officials, school teachers, clergy, etc. are "mandated reporters" they are required to contact the proper authorities. If needed, he may be whispered to which could insure that he does his job... That is if you want that kind of involvement...
| 10 years ago. Rating: 9 | |
itsmee
Bob, Are you in a position where you could take care of your grandchildren while their parents regain their health? Could you share responsibility with the other grandparents?
I have a feeling that if you let Mom know what her little girl said at church, it could cause a real firestorm. (She wouldn't want to hear it) : ( Stay safe.
| 10 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
You are doing your best. The ball is in your court, it seems.
It sounds like "Mommy Dearest" is just gone. Gone. Sad.
It's 2:30 AM. Our power has been off for over an hour. It was sooo dark. So scary. Always have your flashlights ready for that kind of thing.I wondered if the power grid had been sabotaged and the lights would never come on again. We have relatives nearby who are preppers. They have the food, the artillery, a way to escape ...They are set for such an attack,$$$
nice, nice
sunnyB
Your son really ought to be the one to ask for professional help, I would think if the request comes from him, the CPS or whoever he decides to contact will be able to see his side of things. You and your sister would be able to help him , if the authorities can see that the three of you have the childs best interests at heart that must be a good thing. Sounds like the daughter-in-law needs something to shake her senses a bit. Thinking of you, keep a good eye on things, as you always do.
| 10 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
Bob's son may be in denial when she told him what the little girl said at church. she also mentioned that her son was SURPRISED. That's not saying anything against him it's just that when personal problems are so extreme sometimes we humans push them to the back of our minds. That would be my best guess. Bob will be here soon, I believe.
tabber
Bob I'm praying for you and the younger folks and the little ones. Thank God akaqa people are such great spiritual friends to be able to talk and share with. I love em all.
| 10 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
witchway
I agree with you that no child should ever feel like this, ever. Possibly Child Service should be involved, if all else seems to have failed. I know it is not pleasant to get a third party involved but maybe it is the best recourse for the child. My heart goes out to you as the Grandmother of such a loving little girl. I know it's difficult for you, as far as your son is concerned, and maybe it's time for him to hear how much you love him and that you don't like what he's doing right now. Which are two very separate issues. If he doesn't understand that, then maybe it's time for you to walk away from your son right now. I did. It took my son about 10 years to straighten out. I never had contact with him for all that time, even though he lived in our small town. He had to hit bottom before he could turn his life around. He's now married to a lovely woman and I see him all the time. They were here and stayed over for Christmas. Sometimes the best gift we give others is the gift of saying no. Best of luck. E-mail me if you would like to.
| 10 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
So right you are and how difficult (but beneficial) that can be. Nice to hear of a happy ending. :)
I am glad to hear your son got his act together and that you have lived long enough to enjoy him (and his family). At my age, I don't know what 10 years will do to me, but I know I can't let his "stuff" age me faster.
If you tell "admin" that your email can be given to me, I will write to you. I can't ask them; you have to tell them. Thank you, witchway.
terryfossil 1
hey Bob,unless the kids are in serious danger from their parents,maybe you have to have hands off,,,i dont know about everyone else out here in AKA,,i can only hear one side of the story,and that is how it should be,but to give a truly informed opinion on a highly explosive situation,,from my position,could be dangerous.i do wish you and your's the best,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
| 10 years ago. Rating: 3 | |
