Karma: 609115

Xmas news you don't want

My Brother just phoned me.His son in law committed suicide this morning.He left behind 3 lovely little kids.Twin girls (5) & a boy (9).My first emotion was rage.How could he do this to those kids? Thanks a lot buddy.You selfish,weak SOB!

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+8 Views: 1180 Answers: 9 Posted: 11 years ago

9 Answers

lindilou

Karma: 480785

Good Lord Tommyh...this is not good at all...a suicide affects 35 people not including family or friends beginning with Medical Response, Triage team and nursing staff, Police, Victim services staff and whomever they need to share the traumatic event with...suicide is after all murder...of self...but still very traumatizing to all involved...what a rotten mess to leave behind...you and others have every right to be angry....just know you are not alone....sadly. peace xo LL

11 years ago. Rating: 14
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jhharlan

Karma: 1457205

Suicides are a personal problem that take one away from reality. They just are thinking of the rotten world inside their own head. I know, I've been there myself many times. Too bad he didn't seek out help and medication. It IS selfish and leaves others behind with horrible thoughts, how selfsish can that be? Wish I could have talked to him before the final plug......I am so, so sorry for you and yours...........

10 years ago. Rating: 12
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jhharlan

I’m finding myself angry here on the other side of the world, my heart is beating fast. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I am so, so sorry……...

commented 10 years ago

Tommyh

As always Julie Your opinion is very important to me.Thank You.Sadly tho,this guy never had mental ilness to blame.Gambling debts were his motivation.That's why I am so angry.The full story is slowly coming to light.

commented 10 years ago

Ducky

Karma: 1032550

So sad Tommy. Unfortunately, suicide is the ultimate result of depression, which is extremely difficult to cope with. Reasons are many and varied and those left behind, want to KNOW the reason and they sometimes blame themselves. If a person decides to take his/her own life, there is NO ONE who can stop them. I'm so sorry for you, your family members and all who are left to grieve. For whatever reason, he felt that he could not live any longer within his messed up life....leaving his family, forever changed.

10 years ago. Rating: 11
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Tommyh

Depression no doubt Ducky.But depression caused by his own doing.He had the problem fixed for him but continued gambling.I'm not sad for him.His kids are the ones I grieve for.They will probably have behavioural problems all their lives because of this.
Thanks for the response Ducky.Mery Xmas to you.

commented 10 years ago

Ducky

I understand your anger Tommy, I do, and I feel for those kids too. Try to enjoy Christmas in spite of this sadness.

commented 10 years ago

Tommyh

Thanks Ducky.I intend to.

commented 10 years ago

itsmee

Ducky, your words are helpful to me in understanding. "Suicide is the ultimate result of Depression" by Ducky

Tommy, my thoughts are with you and your family. Suicide of a close friend or relative would be so very difficult to cope with. Impossible for a child? I don't know. Sorry.

commented 10 years ago

pythonlover

Karma: 797301

How devastating, my heart goes out to them little kids. My thoughts are with you and your family at this sad and difficult time.

10 years ago. Rating: 11
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bustieone

Karma: 250320

Tommy, such a tragedy! Your poor family, and yes, he must have had taken the cowards' way out! Those poor children, old enough to know what is going on. No good time for this sort of thing, but much worse for all at Christmas. Regards to you and your family, you are in our prayers all.

10 years ago. Rating: 11
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Tommyh

Thanks Ray.I'm calming down a bit this morning.
My brother seems to have things under control.They're his grandkids & he loves them as much as I love mine.More importantly they look to him for guidance & love.I just can't get my head around this.

commented 10 years ago

bustieone

I am sure that your strong family with faith will make the correct actions for these children, good luck.

commented 10 years ago

Bob/PKB

Karma: 945575

Along with all your friends here, Tom, my very deepest sympathy to you and your family. There is never a good time for someone to do this, and my heart especially aches for his children.
Anger would be my first reaction as well, I'm sure, and I hope you have a good chance to funnel that and then give the love and support your brother, his grandchildren, and the rest of the family truly needs from you. (You can vent here as much as you want and I, for one, will listen as your friend)
I know you aren't a religious guy, but please accept my prayers for all. Phyllis

10 years ago. Rating: 10
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Tommyh

Thank you Phyllis.I tear up every time I think of thos kids.They are beautiful kids.I know my brother will even take them in if necessary & do a good job.I hope the idiot that did this to them burns in hell.I have no sympathy for him whatsoever.Thank you again for your kind thoughts my dear friend.Merry Xmas to you & yours.Tom.

commented 10 years ago

Bob/PKB

It's very possible. Sympathy is wasted on him; like your brother, put your energy in caring for the children when you are with them. You've not mentioned their mom, who would be your niece. I can't begin to imagine how she is feeling about this, although my friend's ex-husband committed suicide several years after their divorce and left a letter than implicated HER as the force behind the act (which couldn't have been further from the truth...she still prays for him on a daily basis, always has; the love of her life, in spite of his abusive alcoholism)
No matter, this is a horrible tragedy for all those left behind. Do be careful what you say as little ones have big ears. (I know you will)

commented 10 years ago

Tommyh

His wife (my neice) is a succesful business woman in her own right.I haven't had the chance to talk to her yet,but she's tough,she will cope.

commented 10 years ago

Bob/PKB

Again, my sympathy and love to you and yours.

commented 10 years ago

clu

Karma: 405843

Sorry Tommy My partners son committed suicide in 1990! My partner has blamed himself all these years! I keep pointing out how selfish his son was! I am still angry at the son! Suicide leaves the survivors in a horrible position! Blessings to your brother and don't let him feel guilty!

10 years ago. Rating: 10
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Tommyh

Thanks Clu. He won't feel guilty.He has just told me that he paid off this guys gambling debts last year ($30K).

commented 10 years ago

clu

The son's estranged wife kept the daughter separated from her fathers family all these years because "people" would think mental illness ran in the family! SAD!

commented 10 years ago

sunnyB

Karma: 390511

Really sorry to here such terrible news Tommyh, what an awful thing to happen this time of year. A young family friend of ours did the same thing a few years ago, and my first thought was as yours, how could he be so selfish. But as another family member said at the time, he just was not thinking straight, he must of had some problems that he just thought he couldn't cope with. The only way to deal with it must be to try and understand how he was feeling, and do what you can for the rest of your family. My thoughts are with you Tommyh .

11 years ago. Rating: 10
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mycatsmom

Karma: 393700

So sorry for the kids,Tommy . Suicide leaves a legacy on the kids that is hard to shake. Studies show that the children of a suicide victim are more likely to commit suicide when they're older, then if their parent wouldn't have done it. That's what happened in the case of Hemmingway.