Bob/PKB
My mom passed away on Tuesday from complications of being 94, and we had a memorial celebration (aka funeral) for her on Saturday (or maybe it was for us). Mom and Dad bought cemetery plots years ago, and Mom had picked out her casket and provided some information to the funeral parlor people several years ago. Aside from that, all we knew of her wishes was that she didn't want a bunch of people staring at her in her casket.
My sister wrote and delivered a eulogy that was beyond perfect; my obituary was warm and personal. The church service focused on the hope of our faith, and the music was inspirational. Having the family and friends join in song brought us all together. Our social time afterwards was excellent, and the slide show my son created of my mom in many poses at all stages of life, along with music from the big band era (my mom's music) were equally special. It was just a perfect day, and the only ones missing were my mom and dad.
The question is: Have you thought about YOUR funeral, made any plans, purchases, or requests known to your loved ones? One of our friends told us her mom wrote her OWN obituary!
What are your thoughts?
14 Answers
sunnyB
Best answer!
country bumpkin
I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your dear mother Bob.
I want to be buried in a simple Pinewood box and I want When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder and Leaving on a Jet Plane (the John Denver version) played at my funeral. Other than this, I haven't given this much thought.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 13 | |
I would like "What A Wonderful World", which my sister wants, too. The music is such an important part of the funeral...did you read what sunnyB wrote? TOO much!
pythonlover
My condolences to you and your family. Your moms funeral sounds very special indeed.
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As for my funeral, I don't believe in anything fancy or extravagant. I have discussed this with family and we all agree the simpler, the better. Cheapest casket and a bunch of flowers will do me.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 13 | |
Even a simple funeral takes a lot of energy. We didn't do anything over the top (except the food was catered). I am not a big fan of the visitation at the funeral home, nor was Mom. We had her casket open for family for a while, then closed to receive friends.
jhharlan
I want to be cremated the cheapest way possible. No fan fair, no fuss……….. So sorry for your loss. I know it impacted your life and those of your kids. May God watch over all……….
| 11 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
Tommyh
On a lighter note.I have told my wife if the wheelie bin is empty & it just happens to be conveniently on a Tuesday night then feel free to dispose of me that way. The cheapest funeral available is the other option.Even a cardboard coffin.It's only going to get burnt anyhow.Cremation is the only way for me because of my claustrophobia.WHAT IF I WAKE UP! I want to make sure I'm dead.I'm sure they will be a party after the service.Some will be celebrating my life & the others, well...You know.There is a long tradition of after funeral parties in our family.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
Hope you have cheered up a bit Phil.All the best to you & your family.
I am enjoying my tears, which pop up throughout the day. My eldest called to check up on me yesterday (he's devastated and also sick as can be) and my middle one called me early to advise me I was spending the day with him. :D :D My youngest actually started a big yard project this afternoon and has been helping his brothers with furniture moving.
Thank you for your kind thoughts! It is hard to feel alone surrounded by all the good folks here.
Ducky
Funerals are so sad. I plan to write a funny speech for someone to read at my funeral. I don't want people to be sad. I want them to smile. :)
| 11 years ago. Rating: 11 | |
So sorry for your loss Bob, that was a wonderful way to remember and celebrate your mums life. We have had five funerals in our family ( my wifes and my families and one close friend) over the past year, they all planned their own, I think it is a good idea , although I havn't planned mine yet. My brother-in law was the last to go just 2 months ago, he was a fisherman ( as a hobby) and his eulogy was done by the water balliff where he fished regulaly, she gave a wonderful talk about him, with a few jokes and descriptions of how he would react to different things, it wasa truly wonderful send off, as was your mums by the sounds of it. My mother in law passed on just over a year ago, she too was 94 had a lovely life ( hard times when they were young) , and now we talk abouyt her often, and remember the good times we shared with her. You will do the same no doubt, God bless you and your family Bob.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 11 | |
I love the story about your cremated friend. LOL
terryfossil 1
sorry for your loss Bob,,and now my thoughts,,,,,,,your life is personal,,,,,your death is personal,,,,,,,,if you believe in internal life after death,,,,,,then the only unhappy ones,are the ones left behind,,,once again ,,,sorry for your loss Bob,,,,,,,,,,
| 11 years ago. Rating: 10 | |
bustieone
Sounds like it was a befitting send off to quite a lovely lady. Regards and prayers to the family on your loss, Bob. We lost my mother in law a month ago, and my wife and I have made plans to see lawyer and get things in better order than her mom did. We had a similar ceremony, with exception of open casket in funeral parlor, no wake, morning service, graveside service, then back to hall for catered meal with social time, as you say, only thing missing was the party loving mom!
| 11 years ago. Rating: 10 | |
I will definitely need to turn this over to my higher power.
Colleen
I'm very sorry for your loss Bob. I know you love your mother and worried for her. It sounds like her memorial was perfect for all the family. She would be pleased as it sounds like exactly what she wanted.
As for your question, my family knows, cremation for me and no service. No one even has to claim the ashes because my body is not me and as ash, even less me. If the family chooses to have a memorial service, they can do that but it's not something I would expect.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
Your plans sound practical to me. I am still undecided between burial and cremation. The services are really more for those of us left behind; at least, that's how I see it.
bulletman
My sympathy for your loss , MsBob, sounds your mom planned her own funeral quite well, as for mine, cremation for me with A Whiter Shade of Pale and Imagine to be played at the service, i want it to be a fun time, unfortunately i'll only be there in spirit.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
Your spirit will make ANY time a fun time!!
witchway
Sorry your loss and my sympathy to you and your family and friends. You are a good daughter Bob. As for me, cremation and no funeral. I'm kind of simple that way.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
If your family wanted to have something in your honor, would you tell them it was OK? Where would you like your ashes to go?
You could end up in many different places!
figtree3
XOO
I have not yet made any serious plans for my empty body.
Although, I have had a fantasy of being cremated and having my ashes mixed with gunpowder and placed in some fireworks to then be launched on the 4th of July.....
Oooh. Ahhhh.
Great last impression!
We had a similar memorial for our Mother. My brother had put together a slide show with music which was a very good way to remember her as a group.
My Mom had a beeny that she wore to keep her bald head warm. I kept that for a few months afterward, on my dresser. I would clutch it to my face now and then in remembrance and become verklempt. She was sweet. (although not Jewish, It's the best word for the feeling)
| 11 years ago. Rating: 2 | |
bigben
I'm sorry to hear about your mother. Yes, I've given it some thought and told my wife that I want to be cremated. I'd like to keep it simple and as cost free as possible for my family and being an atheist don't believe in an afterlife, but I do recognize the need for people to say goodbye, so I've told her it's alright to have a simple gathering, but small and personal. As far as my ashes are concerned I'd like her to scatter them somewhere in the mountains of Virginia.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 2 | |
PS
Roy's favorite love song is Thank You by Led Zeppelin, it's a beautiful song and I would like to have this also played at my service in dedication to our love for each other.