12 Answers

I'm 47 years old and just had our first child, she's 9 months old now. I had plenty of years to watch kids grow up different ways, how parents treated them, weather they were there friend or a parent. I'm opting for being a parent. I don't know about the rest of the country or world, but around here it seems like the parents that were best friends with there kids {or tried to be} had spoiled little brats that ran wild or kids later on that demanded everything and expected everything to be handed to them.Parents that were Parents in general had pretty good kids, they learned respect and to get jobs and earn or get things on there own.

13 years ago. Rating: 8
Comment this answer Add new comment

I have 14 and 17 year old boys. I have been a parent first and foremost. Now that they are at an age that the real teaching is over, I can be a friend as well. The guidance they needed as younger boys is no longer as big. It is at a point that I have to step back and allow them to make good and bad choices. I can be there when they fall but picking them up will no longer serve their good.I am still the parent and let them know where my expectations are as well as my boundaries and heaven forbid they cross those lines...lol.I guess eventually you have to relax and step back a little to see what they have learned from you as a parent.As a kid I was terrified of my dad. He never beat me but he was a scary presence and not at all a friend to me. I was raped at 13 and could not go to them due to fear of what he would have done. I have learned from their way of parenting and made sure my kids can tell me whats going on. They do know my boundaries well and expectations but they also know I am there as a friend as well. being a single parent is not easy...but you have to give respect to receive it. If you look closely at your relationship with the kids you will know if you are being too hard.I would think anyone would want their children to feel safe as well as comfortable with you as a parent.

13 years ago. Rating: 8
Comment this answer Add new comment

You can't be their buddies and get respect, you need to be firm even when you want to laugh they will love you for it sooner or later.

13 years ago. Rating: 6
Comment this answer Add new comment

Children need responsible parents. I don't subscribe to being my kids "Buddy".

13 years ago. Rating: 3
Comment this answer Add new comment

When you were a child you had your friends, and you had your parents. That's how I think things should. In my opinion, being too much of a friend doesn't let you be a good parent. Of course there's a fine line and it's hard to describe where it goes.

13 years ago. Rating: 3
Comment this answer Add new comment

I would like to think that i am both,

13 years ago. Rating: 2
Comment this answer Add new comment

By far it is more important to be a parent. Kids are always testing boundaries, this is how they learn what they can get away with and what they can't. They need boundaries to learn that there are always going to be repercussions to their actions. They need to know right from wrong.

Maybe when they get older you can have a more friendship like relationship, but until they are out on their own they need to learn to respect their elders. Children will naturally take advantage of a parent that is to easy on them, this is because they learn how to manipulate us.

My nephews and niece know that they can't get away with the crap they pull on their parents, because I'm not blinded by love, I can see right through them. Don't get me wrong I love them all, I just remember most of the kid tricks from when I was a child. Parents are partially blinded with their unconditional love towards their children. While uncles on the other hand know what they're trying to pull.

The good thing is that I'm not the one who has to punish them, I can just be good old Uncle Leeroy. I can go home and not have to worry about them. While parents have to be much more invested in many different ways.

13 years ago. Rating: 2
Comment this answer Add new comment

I think one should be a parent first and foremost that is the problem today too many trying to be the best friend and not drawing the line as to parenting.

13 years ago. Rating: 2
Comment this answer Add new comment

hmm, i think i'd want my parents to just been parents. i have enough best friends to last for the end of my days. i see them and talk to them every moment of my life.
Parents on the other side i only have two of them and i'd like to treasure them as my mum and dad not as my two other best friends. parents are parents, best friends are best friends, there is a fine line between that.

13 years ago. Rating: 2
Comment this answer Add new comment

You have to be a parent,kids need firm guidance,you'll lose respect if your more of their friend.They'll thank you later, It's better to save the friend thing for later on when their adults,my relationship with my mom is better now as an adult then ever,when their adults you just give advice so the relationship has a strong friend aspect.

13 years ago. Rating: 2
Comment this answer Add new comment

My friendship starts first and foremost with being a parent.  Our primary role as a parent is to give love and guidence.  With guideance sometimes requires restriction.  I want to be the friend who tells my child about right and wrong.  I want to be their friend on sex education.  It's me and my wife's responsibility to  guide and protect and DEFINATELY NOT THE SCHOOL'S or their friends outside my house.  I'm not so nieve that there is a street Ed. that they get but hopefully their value system will primarly come from me. The only agenda my wife and I have for our daughter was to give her the tools to identify, analyze, and make her decission based on a sound value system.  Straying that value system meant potential cocsequenses she had to navigate on her on. 

12 years ago. Rating: 2
Comment this answer Add new comment

No child wants/needs a 40 yo?, friend. They meed someone strong enough to make them feel secure. They will constantly test you for this. Ditto for whisdom and love. I am a parent of o supportive and loving grown family of four. And... I think that I made enough parenting mistakes to believe that the above is true.

13 years ago. Rating: 2
Comment this answer Add new comment