itsmee
She is just eight and came over for a Scrabble Game yesterday. She is very bright. We had to play by HER rules or she wouldn’t play at all. I let her win and I’m not sure that was the right thing to do.
10 Answers
bustieone
Best answer!
Games can teach a lot about life, if you play by the rules of the game, she will learn that society has rules which must be followed. Sometimes we win and sometimes we loose. That's life, and how to deal with each is also part of the lesson...
| 11 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
Your comment on games made a lot of sense.
Ducky
Take it as an opportunity to teach the art of being a gracious loser. No one can be the winner every time.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 14 | |
jhharlan
I remember starting to cry when my mom beat me at a game and she told me, "I'm not going to let you win just because you're a kid". Lesson learned. I became more competitive. I still hate to lose..........
| 11 years ago. Rating: 11 | |
ROMOS
You insist that she plays by the proper rules, then you teach her a lesson by winning the game yourself, again and again and again and again, she will learn eventually.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 10 | |
sunnyB
Bob/PKB
Itsmee, play by the rules, always do your best, wash your hands after you use the toilet, be a good winner, an even better loser, and never sweat the small stuff. Everything you need to know, you learned in kindergarten. The next part, not in bold print, is a little story you can skip, but do read the rest of the bold.
The very first day my eldest son went to PRE-school, there was another boy already there. He was drawing something, so beautifully and so detailed, and so beyond what my 3 1/2 year old could do (Is that supposed to be a PERSON or a TRUCK?), I was tempted to take my kid home and try again in a year or three. But he stayed, and the two became good friends.
When they were in 3rd grade, the teacher called me. Her son (yep, he was a student in her class) had been crying for 2 hours because of some remark my 8 year old son had made that resulted in some mild, momentary laughter at the boy's expense. Teacher didn't know what to do, asked her son, and he said to call me. (It got handled)
A couple of years later at a track meet, during a relay, one of the boy's teammates dropped the baton, and the team did not win. The boy, now 12, cried inconsolably. He was a brilliant young man, valedictorian of his class, very artistic, athletic, and gifted in every aspect of life....except how to be a gracious loser. He's 27 in a week or two; wonder if he's ever learned one very important life lesson!
When you are at YOUR house, you play by the rules of the game. YOU play to win, just as you would against anyone else. The day she beats you because she played a better game is coming, and she can be proud of herself (as you will be). By letting her change the rules and win, you have given her nothing, and you are riddled with doubt and guilt. If she's smart (and something tells me she is), she knows you threw the game. That doesn't breed respect, wasn't all that much fun for either of you, and it enforces manipulative behavior. (ICK) Don't do that again. If she whines about it, tell her the game came with rules, and in your house, those are the rules. When she is ready to play by those rules, you're there. Until then, don't you have some laundry or dishes to do? NO BIG DEAL. Don't plead or apologize. It's a fact. The game has rules; play by them.
Trust me. NO ONE who really cares about her is letting her win except you.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
witchway
muhammad Hassan
In my point of view, assign two kinds of work to such children 1: easy work, 2: difficult work. the first one definitely encourages him that he has achieved the goal, he has the ability to win in his life, but the second one discourage him, and definitely it will make him understand that there are many things which we can not achieve them, thus he will come to know that life is compound of winning and losing.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 4 | |
mycatsmom
Well, since she's just your granddaughter, and not your daughter,and you're not raising her, I say let her win. Because it's her parents' place to teach her, that she can't always win, and that life is not always fair; adn that the world doesn't revolve around her. When they're real little, it's ok to let them win ,or the tears and the fireworks will start, But at 8, she should be learing how to lose, so she can play these games politely and intelligently with other kids.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 3 | |
I don't give a TD without giving it a LOT of thought beforehand...
Bob, you gave mcm a td. Tsk.
I <3 you both. I think you BOTH win.
mcm: Your last line doesn't really pull the answer up for me. HOW is she supposed to learn to play politely and intelligently with other kids? If you think it is the parents' place to teach these skills, you are leaving out MOST of where a child experiences competition, winning, and losing. A parent can TALK about it, but they aren't setting up competitions for the child. That happens in the classroom, on the field, and when that boy she just adores opts for her best friend. Read about the boy in my answer. Should that boy have learned by 8? 12? WHEN?
Grandma played the game with her. Grandma had the opportunity for a teaching moment and you told her "let her win". At Grandma's the world revolves around the girl?
It's OK to let a kid win so he doesn't CRY? NO. It's OK for a kid to LOSE, so he learns NOT to cry when things don't go his way. Is there some cutoff time when "OK, now you are old enough to learn to lose"?? What age is that?
A "TD" for my answer, with no explanation to go with it, when I have been upfront, sincere, and open, tells me that I will avoid your questions and answers completely from this moment forward, unless it's to correct all your spelling mistakes.
.
I agree with this. I never played games with my own kids or with my preschool kids. Our own kids grew up and are doing ok. I always supervised childrens’ games. That seemed to be the way for me.
I said to ROMOS (above) that my grand daughter is too young to play Scrabble with ME. She calls it ‘Scramble” I only agreed to the game because she kinda begged.
Bob/PKB, I appreciate your efforts in this matter. And mcm I appreciate yours. Sheesh. I have said that already. I repeat myself.
Everybody cool? What’s on TV for Heaven Sake? Any place for me to pass out more TU? <3 <3 <3
If everybody had the caring that akaQA people have this world would be a better place.
I know you will do the right thing with your granddaughter, and I appreciate the trust you put in all of us to give the best advice we can. Whether or not we all agree, you know we have your best interest at heart. :D
I know the “Scramble” game caused some hot debate. This shows that people care about something really important. (((PKB))) x
I never know what to call you when I post. What do you prefer?
Clonge
There are questions that you just don't want to talk to your neighbors, friends or relatives about.
I get good answers here. You people are quite bright.