beeeee
i am a university stdent working at a law firm full time ,and working on my masters degree program at a university. being an olnly child growing up ,i befriended this boy who now has his own boyfriend for 19 yrs..i have known the befriended one longer,and have practicall taken him as a brother where i confide in him for support,family like relationship..My boyfriend and I visit this couple and sometimes go fishing and boating ,or go to movies or shows etc..Lately my befriended friend has suddenly not working, and does odd jobb for friend and family to make a living. W while his partner has a bussiness in the city. Th so call bussiness is thriving. Now here are the questions........1. my partner had come into some money,we bought a franchise bussiness and we went under....2. my friend from college and his partner immediatly decided to buy a bussines in the same area as we did, and verbally and physically started comparing their success with ours...at this time we are working hard and are trying ver very hard to make ends meet, living a fairly decent life..church going ,looking after my retired mom etc. 3 THIS IS THE BIG ISSUE HERE.,WHAT EVER WE TRY TO DO THEY DO IT BIGGER AND BETTER AND THEN, INVITE US OVER TO BRAG ABOUT IT....WE ARE LONELY AT TIMES..WITH A LIMITED AMOUT OF FRIEND AND FAMILY, WE HAVE BEEN GOOD FRIENDS ON MANY OCCATIONS.MY SO CALLED BEFRIENDED FRIEND THAT I TREAT AS A BROTHER HAS DEVELOPED A HABIT OS USING ME AS A PUNCHING BAG...MY BOYFRIEND IS CAUCATION ,VERY RESERVED ,NEVER SAYS ANYTHING TO THESE REMARKS THAT THE OTHER TWO COUPLE MAKE TOWARDS ME, I AM A SOUTH AFRICAN EDUCATED INDIAN...THE BIGGEST QUESTION IS WHAT OR HOW DO I HANLDLE THIS CONSTANT BRAGGING OF THIS ONE BEST FRIEND OF MINE ,HE IS CONTANLY LETTING ME KNOW HOW GREAT AND PERFECT HIS PARTNER IS,NOT EVER BRAGGING ABOUT ANYBODY ELSE IN THE ROOM...ONLY ABOUT HOW EVERYTHING THAT TERRY DOES IS THE BEST, HE COOKS THE BES,HIS FISHTANK IS THE BEST HE DRIVES THE BEST CAR, TERRY IS THE BEST ARTEST, TERRY PAITED THE BEST EASTER EGG.....I AM TIRED OF THIS AND DO NOT KNOW HOW TO HANLDLE THIS SITUATION..IS THERE AN ASWER TO THIS????
7 Answers
FISH-O
People have a way of coming and going throughout life. Your pal is 'head over heels' at the moment. How lovely. You can let this run it's course and do that ZEN thing or you can be 'suddenly' far too busy to listen. You are studying and working toward a bright future, by the way.
This brings about the important subject of ... YOU.
Your primary concern is your schooling, whether it be at the University or law firm. Specifically concentrate on your command of the written (English) language. If you are to become a lawyer, you will need to articulate your points very clearly and intelligently. Keep your mind focused and get the best value for your money from that education that you, or your dear caring parents, are paying for.
As for the rest of your life... there is plenty of time to make at least a dozen more friends just like the one you are describing. Life is a glorious adventure!
Good Luck!
| 11 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
Tommyh
Colleen
Seriously, drop them. They are not friends. You need to build self confidence and then take a good look at your boyfriend and decide if he really is the right one for you. He's not acting much like a caring partner should unless he lacks self confidence too. You two are a couple. You should not be lonely when together. Forget the friends, work on your relationship.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 2 | |
AND RELATIONSHIP OF 7YRS
mycatsmom
nomdeplume
beeeee
someone suggested that look within myself,that it is always difficult to change people and their behaviors ,so the easiest thing to do is to change youself . , by seeking help from our creator, both for myself and the other person. also not to give "this thing" too much power,this thing is also called "pain".. so I feel the less power given to this friends behaviour the better...now the real issue , I need to deveope a strategy to do this....Collen your answer is great , but see this friend has not realized what he is doing to us especially me, also he is not aware of his behaviour and how it affects others, so he still comes around and acts oblivious . this makes it difficult to have nothing to do with these caracters. then theres also the kindness of my partner.He is not as sensitive as myself and the others that are aware of this issue.
| 11 years ago. Rating: 0 | |
after this many yrs of friendship, this so called beriended friend brother whatever,has suddenly become so so so infactuted witheverything his partner is doing, we dont mind it if he is doing it when it is only the four of us , but he really urks us when others are with us...he carries on on on...about the wonderful and that all the thing his partner does are better then everyone elses.....we have even gone as far as giving him the benefit of the daught..DOES HE WANT US TO LAY A RED CARPET OR CROWN HIS PARTNER KING OR WHAT SHOULD WE DO..TO MAKE HIM STOP HIS NEW BEHAVIOR...OR SHOULD WE RECOMEND PSHYCH THERAPY , WITHOUT HURTING ANY FEELINGS..I ALSO DON'T WANT THEM TO ASSUME ANYTHING...E.G THAT WE ARE JELOUS OF HIS WONDERFUL PARTNER......PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME WITH AN EXPERT ANSWER THANKS
| 11 years ago. Rating: 0 | |
