13 Answers

I would go to my grave with a secret such as that. It can do nothing but cause pain to a whole lot of people. Imagine the questions that each of them would have and the frustration of never being able to get the answers directly from the people involved? It's a mess....leave it alone!

Dont tell. It would cause only so much more grief and pain, given that they just lost theire father.

I'd leave things as they are, if the other sibling ever wishes to find the father then it's up to them, not you or I or anyone else to upset the apple cart.

When the father of my children died- his wife at the time told my daughter she had a half brother somewhere. She was not interested in contact.

Ducky

All that writing...lol

I grew up with a step brother, and when my father made contact some 25 yrs after the divorce, he informed me that he had a step son, I know it is not my brother, but too much time had passed, and we didn't really reconnect with my father.  I think the same thing here, leave it alone, they are not family now, so no harm in not telling.  Perhaps only good by keeping his secret?

For myself,I would leave it alone.You say he was your friend & I take it from that,that you were not related.I think that this is a problem for some blood relative to solve but this is just my thinking & I am certainly not emphasising that this is the way to go.It obviously weighs heavily on your mind & I appreciate that but I think that "Friends" should stay out of family business.Good luck with it mate.:)

Mind your own business. You're judging both the husband and wife. You have no idea (or personal interest) what really transpired. What's done is done.

Your friend may not be the father. He was cheating on his wife so who says the lady he was cheating with wasn't seeing other men. It was an affair! Doesn't sound like a committed relationship (since he was a ladies man that had numerous affairs). If he is the father, maybe he and this lady had an agreement of their own. Maybe his wife knew. Maybe his children knows. You don't truly know what his wife knew or didn't know. You're not for sure what his children knows. Did he tell you he took an DNA test or that he knows this is his child? I guess this child is an adult also? In todays world, the mother would have told him/her about his/her father or who she thought was his/her father. Siblings have found each other on their own. You don't have to say anything.

I am adopted. Alawys wondered about my birth mother. For last several years been searching for her more often than before. The first part of March started looking a little more Last sunday got email from a lady that says she is her sister. Didnt tell her what it was about. Just asked her how her sister is doing. She informed me she died two weeks ago of cancer. I told her my name . But i didnt tell her my relationship . I dont think it would be in the best interest of the family to know my existence. She gave me up for my better chance of life. I had decided since she never attempted contact with me i would not reveal myself to the family. Found it interesting she had a son and he has same first name as i do.

You mention that you don't know the whereabouts of the half sibling.  It makes no good sense to say anything to his children if you have no proof. I don't see any positive purpose in making that announcement. 

Its all a bit of a Kerfuffle,as they say in little britain,

I don't think you should open a can of worms. It would just hurt his children. Let them have their illusions about the father that they knew. It's hard enough on them that both parents are dead......even tho' the chlidren are grown.