19 Answers

I lost my mother to cancer when I was a kid, and her death broke my heart. My biggest hope in life, is that I don't leave my daughter feeling what I went through in dealing with that loss. No...I don't think opting out is a good solution! But, maybe it is time for a heart to heart talk, allowing for a better degree of understanding for everyone.

I wish you the best Millie, and hope this answer allows you to see things through the eyes of someone who as a child lost their mother. Maybe it's time to talk to a therapist, or clergy, instead of just rolling the thought of opting out around in the back of your mind. Another thing you really want to keep in mind, is that medications and some procedures like dialysis don't leave people thinking the most clearly or rationally at times. My heart is with you dear...life definitely has some difficult pathes to travel, and it is then that it is most important to remember those things for which we can be grateful. Believe it or not, behind what you are feeling or seeing at the moment, they are there. It's just that sometimes we forget these things when we feel overwhelmed with all we are going through.

keep going millie,when you get this low just think how much the children love you and depend on you,think how devastated they would be if you were`nt  there for them.

Come on millie ,your made of tougher stuff, we all know that by your posts over the last months. You will have good and bad days, and today is a bad day, say to youreslf that tomorrow will be a better day. Everyone on here wishes you well , we all want to here that you are feeling better, keep fighting millie. xx

What would become of our book we are writing??????? I like happy ending's. :)

Colleen

:)

.Got this today, maybe it'll be of help:  http://www.lifescript.com/health/centers/depression/articles/how_to_help_a_depressed_friend.aspx?utm_source=newsalert&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2013-01-24b

millie....Never, ever make a life changing decision, when you are in the midst of depression. I can guarantee you, it will be the WRONG one! Take your situation, one day at a time, and try to think outside of yourself. How would THEY feel? How will THEY be affected? How many OTHERS will be affected by my decision? I am not sure what you mean by "opt out" but the people who are around you, as you go through this tough, tough time, are no doubt waiting for you to "opt in". Be patient with yourself and keep moving slowly forward. You will...you can...and you must. Ask for help from a professional who will help you to see things in a better light.   (((millie)))

Colleen

moved millie's reply


______________________________________________


millie111
Karma: 118280

Thanks Ducky..I wouldn`t give any of them up without a fight!...I just want them to decide..well except the two littlest!...I think all ar happy enough at the moment...I`d be more than gutted if they decided o wise...just guilt on my part..I should never have got sick!

Millie get this silly idea out of your head.It might solve your problems,  but not your kids,  so really,  who matters more? I guarantee your kids would want you in their life no matter what condition you are in.

Millie, you need to get some emotional balance in your thinking, then you can begin making some practical plans for coping with your own reactions.
You will find the load is heavy when you are working it out on your own, but sharing it with someone, your burden will be lighter. and help you through this crisis,
You can always count on us to be there for you. Decisions made in a state of despair are always the wrong decisions. We care and love you.Millie and God bless. 

Millie just do your best,and rest when you can,when this cold weather is over things will look and be better,if you need help seek it from your docs,or friends,,,We are all rooting for you on A /Q,XXX

Millie please ask your doctor if there is an antidepressant that you could safely take!  Depression gets worse for a lot of people in the winter due to lack of sunlight.  That coupled with all of the other stuff in your life is overwhelming.  I would have never survived the last couple of years without antidepressants- it's very common to be depressed when you have a physical ailment that changes your lifestyle.  Plus, it will show your kids that life can go on and even get better and that depression is a disease that can be taken care of.

Millie although your children are living some very difficult times, this is what will make them and shape them into the people which they will become.  I had a difficult upbringing, and we six kids were gathered up like puppies, and taken to an orphanage and later divided up between three foster homes.  It was very difficult for us, not understanding, and the only ray of hope was that she would be well and we would be back together.  That happened a year later.  We are all strong of character, and pretty good people, I feel it indeed made us stronger.  I would not suggest it, but it happened.  If you get the services which our society provides today, you should be able to cope and heal with your children at your side, and their needs met.  Best wishes, and I will pray for your strength and family success.  Regards

Ducky

Wow :(

Ducky

Right! It's very normal to have down days when you are having daily struggles.

For everything will come the time but the most important thing is that you love them. I would do everything just my father love me, understand me, respect me, discuss my problems with him etc. I wouldn`t request nothing just love me like the others do with their kids. Lucky them that have a parent like you .

  Hi Millie, just to let you know that Im thinking of you, just like all your friends.I want to tell you , intead of giving yourself a reason why you cant,: give yourself a reason (your children) why you can. Life is never perfect . There will be always challenges, obstacles and less than perect conditions. With each step you take, you will grow stronger, and stronger, with the help of your children, family and friends.To work out what is best for your children, first you have to work out what is best for you, so as you can guide your children. Tomorrow is another day, and the start of the rest of your life.

         God Bless you and yours. 

Bless you millie!  I sure hope you feel better today! Your children need the physical you here on earth for as long as possible.  Be brave and we will all try to help you! Please stay strong!

Millie~You are a kind person. A good person. When I first read your post I thought my daughter had written it. Really. You may have health problems. I don’t know. That  would make it more difficult.

My daughter has no health problems but she’s exhausted. Kids just take it out of you. Watch TV with them. Get out the crayons. Color with them. Buy them little gifts and hide them around the room and let them search for them. Little tiny things ... mean so much.  You are good.

I thought it was very funny when you said you wanted to TD your outburst. Join the gang. You are one of us. muhahahaha!

Life Is Hard.........

Delegate some of that to-do list millie-bean, farm out the kids for a bit (?)  and get the respite you so need...exhaustion is a "female dog" that bites hard...no bark!!

My prescription is here>>>>>

My heart goes out to you and your family, Millie. 
As tempting as it may be to "opt out", consider what wonderful thing tomorrow might bring.
Your family and friends understand how hard you are trying to do and be as much as you can be for everyone.  Appreciate those who help, and keep letting them know it.
Your family needs you just as you are.  Don't ever think otherwise. 
We are all here for you; I'd come right over to help if I could.