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    Any suggestions?

    There is a man at work and I've developed a "passive interest" in him (because I'm not going to try to get something started).  I don't really know much about him, but I think he is single, and I think he may have a tiny, equally passive interest in me. 
    Without parading naked through the halls or doing a lap dance, what might be an EFFECTIVE way to get him interested to the point of asking me to coffee (for starters)?
    (I'm horrible at this stuff) 

    +9  Views: 1219 Answers: 17 Posted: 11 years ago
    bulletman

    'Nothing ventured, Nothing gained'.

    17 Answers

    First of all it would be advisable to find out if he is definitely single P, then "if" he is it's time to bite the bullet and ask HIM out for a coffee, you're both adults now you know, if he says no don't take it personally and get on with your life as is, I hope he doesn't say no though, you deserve a wee bit comfort in your life, GOOD LUCK!


    R

    millie111

    Here Here!..You do deserve some spoiling and enjoyment Bob...Flash him that fab smile..and go girl..go!..Good luck..but am sure you won`t need it!!:-)XX

    As everyone else says, make sure he is single, and go for it gal. Hope it works out for you, you deserve a bit of fun in your life.

    all of the above,good luck Bob,

    As every one has pointed out, check to see if he is single and available, just say i don't like drinking alone would you like to join me, you got nothing to lose, if he is shy like i used to be when i was young you may be waiting a loooong time for him to make the first move. Good Luck, MsBob, keep us informed.

    I think that first you need to know that he is indeed single. Try to gather information on his status, either through him or through other workers. If he is single, ask him what he likes to do for fun. I know it can be hard to do that (it is for me), but that's the way to be happy. Some times we must take chances. It's either this or loneliness.

    Try this old trick. Make a bet with him. Bet a hamburger.  The loser has to buy the burger. Regardless, you go "out".....

    Tommyh

    I think you are the first one that hasn't said the word "SINGLE". LOL
    jhharlan

    I hadn't noticed but, thank you for doing so...
    millie111

    I`d make sure he wasn`t vegetarian first!LOL ;-)...maybe safer to bet him your last ROLO!..(Far more romantic)!;-)LOL
    itsmee

    Gum is somehow more suggestive.

    Don't be shy Bob.(Providing that he is single) If you like him, talk to him.You strike me as the type of person who would not have any trouble in getting to know someone.

    millie111

    Bob..you can always put him on here..we need to vet him to make sure he`s a suitable candidate for such a great catch!:-)

    Marital status-check FIRST!!!  Then, "I'm going for a coffee later. Care to join me"? Seriously Bob, what's the worst that can happen? A coffee is not a commitment.     :)

    Any photos on his desk, if it is a desk job, usually they tell a great deal of his personal life.  If animal photos, maybe no family connections, or if just kids, maybe no woman in the picture.  Maybe you have a "friend" who works in H.R. dept.  (I know it is not proper, but maybe they can hint if he is married, or not...)...  Good luck, you deserve a good thing! 

    go for it bob,say you know a nice coffee shop and would he like to join you,its a cup of coffee!!

    Go ahead and ask HIM out to coffee,. To have coffee with someone is not a commitment.
    It will give you a chance to listen to him. Usually you get a gut-feeling about a person, wether they are honest or not. Of course if he is not single - you will know what to do. Good luck! 

    Why don't you ask him? If you can establish with certainty that he is  single,give it a go Bob.You're a good looking,smart lady.What have you got to lose & what has he got to lose? No harm in a cuppa coffee for openers.Ya gotta start somewhere.Good luck!

    Just chat in general with him, then you could say, Im going to visit some family member, sister, cousin over the week end.        Then just say, what will you be doing ? Depending on his rely, you may get idea, if he is single or not. This way, you are not pushing yourself, to make it look like, that you fancy him. After the week end, you could ask him, how was his weekend, this way you should get more information. If he asks you about your week end, you can tell him, that you change your mind and did not go. Good Luck. BOB. If he is single, you can suggest coffee another time.

    Do not take his word if he says he is single. If he thinks you are interested he will obviously say he is. Men don't always tell the truth. Women always do(?)

    Ducky

    Moderator
    If he says he is single and Bob must assume that he may be lying, it's hardly worth persuing. She'll find out the real facts, as she gets to know him.

    Forget about obsessing over his marital status for now. Obviously you have no intention in pursuing a possible relationship with a married man. Meeting a co-worker for coffee is hardly a lap-dance. Relax, initiate, and if he agrees, you'll have all the appropriate opportunity to bring up the personal stuff like if he is now or ever has been married; legally or otherwise, has of hasn't children etc,etc.


    If he passes the "unattached" exam, a second "date" could delve into the real nitty-gritty criteria like financial status. Not that money can buy true love but why start anything with someone who can't spoil you in reasonable luxury ?


    Good luck and Think Big !

    Ducky

    Moderator
    Does that say "lap-dance" or "tap-dance"?
    digger

    Pay attention,Ducky 'cause I'm not slowing down for YOU.;-)
    Ducky

    Moderator
    Huh? Oh sorry digger. I think I dozed off for a minute. :)

    First try to find out about his life. Check to see if he is on local sex offenders list. Im not joking either. Just find out everything you can, You will make a more informed decision with more you know.

    Tommyh

    OH MY DOG!!! Sex offenders list????
    Fair dinkum,that would never occur to me.LOL
    itsmee

    NOR ME!
    FISH-O

    This is good advice!

    OMG, Bob/pkb I laughed so hard I had to dash away,  LOL LOL LOL ROFL  <--like that


    You don’t have to worry about it. Say “Good Morning.” (if it IS morning, of course)  He will come alive to you. I see it in my crystal ball.


    You’re a lovely lady and he will notice.


     

    itsmee

    P.S. I was heading off toward the TV when this thought came to me. Hand him a Starbucks about 3 PM and at that time really say “Good Morning” That’s the time to get all flustered up and blush all rosy if you can. That will speed things along. I’d e-mail you a coupon if I could cuz if I drank all the coffee that I got coupons for, you’d have to peel me off the ceiling.
    Tommyh

    Crikey...you girls really do have some clever tricks,don't you? LMAO
    itsmee

    : )

    Coffee?
    Tommyh

    Haha!anytime Itsmee.


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