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    I need help with my emotions

    Hi, I need help with my emotions and I think it might effect in my future.
    In the past I was bullied a lot (I was defending myself, though I wasn't hurting them).
    And I kept that rage, sadness and grudge in me. (I'm a very kind person, I wouldn't dare who hurt others, even the bullies themselves!)


    I thought to myself, that maybe video games would release that rage, but it made it worse. Then I took boxing which would probably also release the anger in me. But I couldn't feel the anger (cause I wasn't angry with the bag, lulz)


    More and more violence I see with people killing other people, seeing others getting robbed. I felt so much blood thirst, but thanks to the blood thirst, I've made some friends. But I'm afraid I might hurt them. 


    In primary school, a guy 2 years older than me was bugging me and was threatening me. So I went really really angry. And all of a sudden, it went black. When I woke up, my teacher was there. Told me that he stopped my punch on the kid, that I didn't  look like myself. And oh yeah this isn't the first time. It was like a BLACK-OUT or something.




    So, is there anything. Can you guys give me any tips? To try give me tips.


    P.S There is one thing that made me sad a lot, a lot of people were fearing me. Maybe because i was tall, i was 200 centimeters.

    +3  Views: 1211 Answers: 9 Posted: 12 years ago
    AldeWicht

    Any tips at all?
    AldeWicht

    Thank you guys... I went to doctor and she said the same thing like the others. (maybe she's also a member here! haha)
    Dardaigh

    Hey, you're a very intelligent guy. 200cm...that's like 6'7". It could even be a factor, being so bloomin' tall for your age. Good luck, AldeWicht. :)

    9 Answers

    AldeWicht,  it's commendable that you want to seek help 


    for your anger issues. Don't give up on speaking to a therapist.


    They are trained to teach you how to deal with this.There are


    lots of sites on the web that you can visit, to give you tips on


    how to calm yourself and also to teach you about


    self-confidence,etc. If you have confidence, you are able to


    ignore the ridiculous rubbish others throw at you. Remember,


    they are trying to put you down or belittle you because of their


    own self-esteem issues. Talk to your parents, they can help.


    Lastly, it's good that you realize all the negative activities...ie. 


    the video games are only feeding into the situation. It leaves


    you too isolated, in a world that is not real. Maybe volunteering


    for something positive, say teaching younger children how to


    read at your school, will set you down the path of a more 


    positive path in your life. Have you ever heard of the phrase,


    "You are what you eat?" Well, just as importantly, "You are what


    you think"!  Fill your mind with negative thoughts and the 


    outcome is not good. Fill it with positivity and you can change


    things around for yourself, within you. Your brain is there as


    a sponge to soak up what you want it to, so believe that you  


    can make a change for the better and you are already halfway


    there.


     

    We're here for ya. But, you need proffesional counceling to sort all that out. There are many issues here. Please make an appt soon with some kind of  talk therapist.

    AldeWicht

    I kinda off did that, didn't help at all. I heard they had that in USA, but not in Europe (damn the Europeans, oh wait i am European hahaha)

     I have witnessed individuals that have become so enraged that it actually changed their facial appearance where they looked like a stranger. Get help, you need it. Prisons and the nut house are full of people that lost it one time too many.

    AldeWicht

    Though I'm different, I don't know why but when I'm sad, I make people happy around and I get friends which I don't get at all.
    Colleen

    Moderator
    <below comment moved to where it goes>

    ______________________________________________

    ed shank
    Karma: 286356

    I'm an old man now and don't socialize as much as I used to when I was younger, so running into someone who's going to pi$$ me off is slight. I don't believe I ever had any pent up anger, if you needed a beating, I beat heck out of you, not some poor schmuck because you didn't have the jewels to stand up to the person you had an issue with.

    Therapy, a lot of therapy. Go in for other reasons and let the anger creep in if you have to.  You'll learn to recognize what sets you off and how to ward that off....

    I learned to control my anger by using it to destroy trash. A garbage dump near my home was littered with empty beer and wine bottles. So I wold go there and pile up a bunch of bottles and while thinking about my anger I would throw rocks at the bottles. The crash-and-tinkle was a refreshing satisfaction that brought me back to that dump repetitively over many months….when ever I felt like a bottle bash. Then I started to see that by transferring my anger into that harmless act of destruction I could  think about breaking glass and my moment of anger was gone. I saw what you said about video games and they did nothing for me either. A lot of my anger was about frustration and self esteem. I found for me, that I could not depend on the praise or appreciation of others. That I have to appreciate my own work and intentions because the world can be backward and crass when it comes to appreciation. I don’t look forward to it and I simply like my own ways of doing things.  


       My brother nearly killed me by locking me in an old ice box when I was eight. He was 15 and I was very angry with him but choose to set my anger aside rather than take revenge. Then, 10 years later, while trying to figure out why I was so up-set with other people…I remembered my anger and how upset I was with my brother. If he had just lived down the street rather than 3000 miles away, I would have rushed over and assaulted him. That flood of anger was so intense that I was out of control for three days and I was so happy my brother was no where near.     


     

    pej

    when I'm mad or in a pissy mood, I go for a walk, helps all the time. Zumba does me good too so I can vent by focusing on doing work-out...I used to vent my temper by doing personal shopping, but after got too much debt I stopped and turned to work-out instead.

    Well, the only way to get rid of this pent-up anger is to release it. Try many methods like punching pillows. I know this is not very helpful so seek an expertise's advice :P Good Luck though!

    My father beat the crap out of me, well of his kids for years. He verbally abused us too. One kid teasing me (instead of living with my father's rage) would have been a blessing. Your whole post shows an abnormalcy for dealing with negative emotions . My guess is you have a chemical imbalance in your brain that medicine can help. See a doctor. You have the rage my father had (the blacking out. He did that too). He blamed his rage on the fact that his mother was the disciplinarian and not his father (Seriously? He thought that was why? Wuss!) So this made him mad at the world. Any excuse works until you find out it's an imbalance or a simple choice of not wanting to control oneself. I got beat and yelled at almost daily for 18 years. I did not grow up with the same anger that you apparently have. Actually after what I went through and reading what you went through, I'd have to say you're a wimp for not handing your emotions   Man up and take charge of yourself! Why do you think I'm not my father to this day? I put everything in it's place and refused to become my father. You need to refuse to be the bully that teased you. You also need to see a doctor for a chemical imbalance or to see if you are bi-polar. There's a lot of that going around today. Whatever it is, I do not see enough here to warrant being so violent and so out of touch with your emotions. . You need to get over it. 

    Colleen

    Moderator
    Now, if the only words you see in this is "wimp" and "man up" (trigger words)and they make you mad, then you truly need to see someone, a professional. Start with your doctor and have him refer you to a psychologist. If you actually heard me and did not get mad, then you are more in control of your emotions than you think you are.
    pej

    ... and psychiatrist for medications managment for "chemical imbalance or bipolar" tx.
    Colleen

    Moderator
    He first needs to be diagnosed.
    pej

    psychiatrist can diagnose too; I worked w/ them for yrs
    Colleen

    Moderator
    Depending on where you live and the insurance you have, sometimes you have to first be referred to them. His issue could be a medical one too. A doctor first.
    AldeWicht

    I keep a fake smile so I won't hurt others around me. But I guess that's like lying to yourself. I try to make good for others to make me happy. ^^
    AldeWicht

    Don't worry Colleen, I'm not that ridiculous to get pissed off your words. It's the opposite really!
    I'm more of a person who gets hurt psychically.
    Colleen

    Moderator
    Others do not make you happy. You make you happy. Face your demons and defeat them. That is the only way to make yourself happy. You are in charge and in control of every action you initiate. If you need help in learning how to do this, then get the help you need. This all could just be growing pains too depending on your age.

    There are Anger Management classes they may help too!  Blacking- out with fury or any strong emotion isn't normal..and a danger sign...because people do all sorts of things in a blacked-out state!

    Seek professional counseling. They're there to help you. Volunteer to do goods in your community will help or boost your self-esteem. I applaud you for relealizing your situation and reach out for help; i'm sure it's not easy for you to ask for help but you DO THE RIGHT THING. You might be suprised that you're not alone. Many ppl like you in same predicaments. I'm sure you are a good person and have a lot of good potentials in you. Talk to your parents or trusted adults/friends about it, perhaps they too can assist you and direct you to the right paths. Do you attend church? talk to them...


    I hope this helps and many good lucks. Hugs

    Colleen

    Moderator
    "Do you attend church? talk to them."
    They are not professionals. They should never speak to the troubled and try to guide them. They typically do more harm than good because they do not know how to deal with angry people. Telling someone to pray does not help. This is their answer: read the book and pray. Not helpful.


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