GAYWAY
19 Answers
Bob/PKB
If my son told me he was gay, I would be shocked and speechless. I would need some time to digest the information and then I would tell him I love him and want him to be healthy and happy.
My answer to what YOU should do is this: Tell your parents you know it must be a big shock to hear your news and you know they need some time to digest the information (I know I am repeating myself). Tell them you will let them have that time and make plans to get together with them to answer questions HONESTLY.
I didn't check to see how old you are. I am hoping you are an adult and the sexual activity for you is legal. If you are underage, I don't care if you are gay or straight, you shouldn't be having sex.
P.S. Don't apologize. You have nothing for which to apologize.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 27 | |
I would question my son at this age, not believing he was gay, just mixed up.
I think my answer stays; let them get over the shock; continue with your school and activities. If you are allowed to date and have mutual attraction with someone, then I wouldn't forbid you from dating. I would hope you would be respectful of yourself and know that any sex has potential devastating consequences.
I'd want to meet your boyfriend, just as I would want to meet your girlfriend.
If things are just too awkward, ask your parents if the three of you can see a family counselor.
I am sorry to hear they are fighting...it is a reaction to a situation they can't control; you can, if you feel comfortable, try to tell them they don't need to fight with each other over this; it has nothing to do with either of them. Tell them it was hard enough to talk to them and the fighting isn't going to help any of you.
Steer clear of Dad, both of you. Let him deal with himself.
I'm sure many of us would like to be with you right now to help in whatever way we could.
Dardaigh
hector5559
Colleen
Give them time. When they realize you can not change, they will find a way of coming to terms with it. If they never come to terms with it, then they are not parents who know how to love unconditionally. That will be their problem, not yours. Your happiness is more important than theirs in the grand scheme of things. You will live your life and you will need to live it as happily as you can. As your parents, they do not have the right to impede on that happiness. If you are under 18, you will still have to live as they want you to. Put off getting into a relationship until you are 18 and on your own. If you are on your own now, stick to your guns and educate them about homosexuality and that it's not a disease or a mental issue or something you chose just for the heck of it. See if there are any support groups in your area that you can get your parents involved in to help them understand all this. It's really up to them. There's little you can do expect be true to yourself and help them with the understanding as best as you can.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 23 | |
At 15, you are well into puberty and your chemicals are still sorting themselves out. You may be correct, you may find in a year that you no longer feel as you do today. I was 13 when I figured it out. I never changed. I am 50 years old now. BUT this does not mean you will be the same. Again, time is your answer here. Give it time.
Your family has brought their own pain by choosing to not understand to to allow this non understanding to get in the way of love. You can not control their ignorance. Their pain is not your fault. You can only try to educate to help them rid themselves of the pain THEY are creating.
jhharlan
melandrupert
well done and you desearve a pat o n the back.... your parents should be proud of you coming out and been really honest with them rather than hiding behind closed doors its nothing to be a shamed of be proud of what your body is telling you and always stick up and do not be pressured by your parents just let it go and let them sort it out if you can sit them down and say that you hadnt choosen to be a lesbian its in my make up and if you were born with a disability would they abandon you ....no I dont think so listen to what Colleen has said she has been around a lot longer than you or get yourself to a support group good luck sweetheart
| 12 years ago. Rating: 21 | |
sunnyB
millie111
It may be awful now...but as Colleen and the O`s say it will no doubt calm down!...You are only 15..(Not meant in a patronizing way)!...You have been very brave to come out ....They are bound to be shocked....My family still don`t like talking about it..but I know they still love me!...Let the fuss die down..I`m sure it will...carry on as usual..You are their daughter and you are special!..Hang in there!...
All good wishes,
millie xx
| 12 years ago. Rating: 19 | |
bulletman
Most members know my views about Homosexuality, i have to say i admire your courage in telling your parents, don't worry too much, they are going through the different stages just like losing someone, but they will come to terms with it, you are still their daughter and nothing will change that. --- you have plenty of friends on Aka that will give you the right advice and understanding--- GOODLUCK GAYWAY.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 17 | |
Ann
Headless Man
At your age I'm not sure you know, you might feel a closeness to same sex but you can still fall in love with a man give your self time and don't commit now........jmo.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 11 | |
nomdeplume
Point out to your parents the following:
1. You are not going to get pregnant unexpectantly.
2. You are very unlikely to get a sexually transmitted disease.
3. A violent partner is unlikely ( I imagine).
4. Divorce and all the trauma that goes with it wlii not be an issue.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 10 | |
Tommyh
doolittle
GAYWAY- Im glad you reached out to us. Parents forget that their children are a Gift fom God and though they raise those children they are each their own person...My parents wanted what they thought was the best for and we followed along to a point. Im my teen years and in both mu sibling and my adult years we haven't had the easiest lives...certainly not the fantasy lives my parents had dreamed up for us...Colleen and woderdyke gave you words of wisdom. Where I am from there are liberal areas where gay& lesbian couples live nex to inter-racial coulpes and "regular (same race) couples- they are friends and their kids play together.
Remember that fairytale dream I mentioned- your parents need to come to grips that their fairytale didn't fit you. They also need to realize that it is no ones fault and that you are young, happy, and healthy. Please reach out the website Colleen put in her answer. One last thing, your parents responses and emotions are theirs- they need to deal with them.
Get support from frieds, and the # and please if you really feel like killing yourself call a crisis hotline!
| 12 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
tabber
Gayway, Good for you!!! Hopefully your parents will come to understand that you are a unique soul given to the world by God. Nobody should mess with that. You are just like us all a gift to the planet earth. We all deserve to be who we are. Love yourself, and your parents and keep working on your personal goals no matter how big or little they may be. Sometimes people don't see the light about others until, the light comes around to them, in one form or another. I worked with a kid whose parents took him to therapy when he told them he was gay. He decided to marry a woman until his grandparents died so not to disappoint his parents. Good for him, but I do not agree. Be yourself, Be your spirit! Parents will come around or they won't. It's their business how they want to be on this planet for the little short 100 years we all get. Enjoy your life. Study what you love. Cheers to you!!! "Don't worry be happy."
| 12 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
Chiangmai
Ducky
akaqa members i hope i am not answering this question twice. i really do not care about the points even tho i love them and its fun. what i want to say is, reading all of your comments, on this question, brought tears to my eyes. i am thankful to God that i got to meet such people as you and the wonderful words that you all bestow BESTOW BESTOW upon others. Love to you all!! Tabbie the Tabber
| 12 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
mycatsmom
They'll love you just as much. But, it'll take them awhilefor them to adjust to it. My g.friend's older son is gay and they totally support him and his " husband " . It took awhile for his dad to come around.Give them time.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
Just learned that you are only 15. Don't be so sure at this age that you are lesbian.
Sometimes both boys and girls fool around with eachother.(their own gender ) .. at that age. Wait till you're 18 or 19 to thouroughly declare that you're lesbian.
