2 Answers

Here, read if you wish.

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/dirty_jokes.asp

A visiting professor at the University of Alabama is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands. "Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands. "That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" Fifteen students raise their hands. "That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" Three students raise their hands. "That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" One student in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience. "The redneck student replies with a nod and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost." The student replies, "Ghost?!? Damn, I thought you said goats.'"

A guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and

orders a Grape Nehi. Surprised, the bartender

looks around and says "You ain't from around

here... where you from, boy?". "Pennsylvania."

The bartender asks, "What do you do up in

Pennsylvania?" "I'm a taxidermist." "A

taxidermist... what the hell is a taxidermist?" "I

mount animals." The bartender smiles and

shouts to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of

us!"

A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them Reading, Writing, Math and Science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!" The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence of what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion." The chief was silent for a moment, and then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child."

A black guy walked into a bar with a large female gorilla. He sat down at the bar and said," I would like a bourbon and white wine for my friend." The bartender looked him in the eye and said, "We don't serve gorillas in this bar." The black guy, insulted by this seemingly bizarre attitude left the bar in anger. He got home and started thinking that this wasn't the gorilla; he didn't want to serve a black guy. So he decided to shave the gorilla and go back bar. He walked back into the bar, sat down at a table With the gorilla in tow and ordered a bourbon and a white wine. The bartender looked at him and obligingly brought a round of drinks and walked back to the bar and turned to a friend and remarked, "I never thought I would ever see that." What said the friend? "An Italian girl with a black guy."