mrsminiver
7 Answers
Shootah
Best answer!
Well, if he has involved himself in a relationship with you for any considerable amount of time, he should know here he stands with you and be ready to make his position clear to all concerned. Otherwise, it sounds more like he is just using you as some sort of optional playmate in light of the fact he is separated. Let's face the facts here, HE'S STILL MARRIED. Separations are more a transitional period, where the concerned parties to it, have declared they are not legally responsible for their spouse's latest bills and have not fully decided upon a divorce yet.
Those are the clear and simple facts of the matter, and that is where you stand until he makes the choice of divorcing her or not!
| 12 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
pythonlover
I would stick around if
1.I knew for sure he wasn't still in love with his wife
2.I was happy how he treated me
3.I felt we had a future together
| 12 years ago. Rating: 9 | |
Ducky
Make a list of the pros and cons. Only you can decide if this is the relationship for you or not. Two people usually stay together, only as long as both parties are still satisfied. It has a lot to do with mutual respect, love, common interests, and what you want for your future together.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
FISH-O
I did comment to your answer MrsM and I would just like to add... as a woman in your 40s... Shake your head, figure out what YOU want from this life time of YOURS and make that happen. He is just a man. There are a lot of them out there.
Devout Catholic my butt. Ridiculous. He is using his religion (which he is abusing) as an excuse. Totally pathetic to my way of thinking. You need a real man.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 8 | |
Dardaigh
lambshank
It sounds as though you have pretty much figured him and the relationship out yourself, he, an adulterous walking contradiction, and you involved with a man you obviously care about, I doubt his family will ever accept the situation, so it really comes down to what you are happy and comfortable with and if you can get past the fact that he will probably never divorce his estranged wife.All the best with whatever you choose to do, and welcome to akaQA
| 12 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
Very good questions, first off we've been together for a couple of yrs. Yes I agree I think he does want his cake and eat it too, as for lack of commitment to me, he's a die hard catholic, and believes strongly in the instution of marriage, till death does one part, and it would be very upsetting to her side of the family should they forgo a divorse.
Yet, interestingly enough I have been labeled a "Gold Digger" by 'his' side of the family including the childern. I don't stand to gain five cents from being in this so called relationship, as it is limited, what with him being married.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 2 | |
Remember, life is too short sometimes for the waiting game. He has the deck stacked in his favour.
Just give everything some serious thought and good luck with whatever decision you make.
Flip:Your not the only one with a problem to this philosophy. At the end of the day, I'll be the one left holding the bag, as it were.
Flip:Your not the only one with a problem to this philosophy. At the end of the day, I'll be the one left holding the bag, as it were.
Please bare with me as I try to figure out this site, I am a newbe.
Flip:Your not the only one with a problem to this philosophy. At the end of the day, I'll be the one left holding the bag, as it were.
Please bare with me as I try to figure out this site, I am a newbe
They're sending a clear message that they don't want to accept you.
I have no idea how old/young you are but this brings to mind Katherine Hepburn/Spencer Tracy.
She was a legend in Hollywood, yet she chose to be second best to his wife because he refused to divorce her, being Catholic.
Yes, Dardaigh, I think he does want it all. I think he just wants someone around for company, no stings attached, in some repects, because as I say he is married. Thing is if he were to pass on tomorrow, his wife and childern would be in like flinn, and rushing me out the door faster then one could shake their heads.
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mrsminiverKarma: 15
Very true Shootah, I couldn't agree with you more, nope I am not kidding you. He doesn't apprciate it when I mention it to him either that he's committed adultery.
Yes, Dardaigh, I think he does want it all. I think he just wants someone around for company, no stings attached, in some repects, because as I say he is married. Thing is if he were to pass on tomorrow, his wife and childern would be in like flinn, and rushing me out the door faster then one could shake their heads.
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mrsminiverKarma: 15
Dardaigh:, I agree 100% the cards stacked in his favour, so I do not understand his family's possition towards me, in thinking that I am in some way a 'Gold Digger.'
Flip:Your not the only one with a problem to this philosophy. At the end of the day, I'll be the one left holding the bag, as it were.
Please bare with me as I try to figure out this site, I am a newbe.
I am not sure where I am supossed to be replying to questions to those possing more questions, my appologies to all.
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ROMOS Try the "comment this answer" as I just did.Welcome to akaQA by the way.
Well, it says "Comment this answer" directly below that, so even though the discussion is getting quite long, you still scroll up to your "Very good questions" and reply there.
It is a tiny bit confusing at first but we were all newbies here once.
BOOM! Reality! Hard pill to swallow.
Even if you were to change your faith... Big fat Nada for you.
