itsmee
We were given a lovely gift from a married couple not long ago. It was too expensive but I didn't feel like saying, "Oh, we're not worth all that. Please give us something less." (Yes, it's family)
Anyway, one member of the couple is now complaining about the gift. (The gift was followed up by another fairly expensive gift - a camera) She says these two gifts are destroying their credit rating. I can't get in touch with the the person who actually sent the gift. (They are out of the country)
At present I don't want to answer the phone to the boiling hot family member. I think maybe the other family member is waiting until Father's Day to get in touch with us. Help!
I would appreciate your input on what I might do to make this situation better.
15 Answers
ed shank
Best answer!
To h*ll with them, just keep clicking away.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
Colleen
Itsmee, please divorce your family and start again. The gifts are not destroying the credit rating. Their inability to pay their bill is. They are adults. They need to stop over spending.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 21 | |
(It's a daughter-in-law thing.)
clu
facebook
jhharlan
daren1
Chiangmai
I don't want you to be stricken with guilt any more. You should immediately wrap the camera up and put it in a parcel box, take it down to the post office, and mail it directly to me. I will have all the guilt dumped on my shoulder.
Nah, don't worry, itsmee. You did NOT ask for the gifts. They were given to you. Enjoy them, guilt-free!
| 12 years ago. Rating: 16 | |
Tommyh
I'm gobsmacked Itsmee.Like it's your problem? Sit them down & tell them next time they have to discuss any gift with you before they purchase. If you really want to pull them out of the poo perhaps you could offer to make a payment on their maxxed out credit card.(If you can afford it).It does sound like they are trying to back you into a corner.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 14 | |
I hope he's ok Itsmee.If he got your common sense I'm sure he can take care of himself tho.:)
Shootah
I agree with Colleen, in that it is not your fault that they overspend what they can afford and then can't pay their bills. But also, if one gift is supposedly causing this problem...that problem was already existing before the gift in mention. One gift doesn't tip that cart over, it was already on its way over...and you are just convenient to blame it on.
They need to grow up and take responsibility for their choices, instead of trying to find someone to blame their choices on! Unfortunately, sometimes family suck more than strangers! Don't feel bad, I have blood relatives, that I would just as soon go get a blood transfusion if it would break that connection. Years ago I came to one conclusion...they just really suck, and they always have, and probably always will.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 14 | |
Shootah's wise comment on some of the people who share our blood or marry into it.
I thought my daughter-in-law had made a breakthrough and we would be friends. NOT SO.
Headless Man
millie111
YOU did nothing wrong!!..I think they are so wrong to have let their problem make you feel bad!..imho THEY SHOULD NEVER HAVE INVOLVED YOU in their arguement..how rude of them:-¬...I`d write them a gushing thank you note and say that you are overwhelmed by their generosity!!;-)....It ob hasn`t stopped their travelling..they don`t sound as if they`ve had to remortgage their house..They really should have thought out their budget and not involved you..DON`T FEEL GUILTY...Enjoy the gifts and on their part..hopefully they`ve learned a valuable lesson for the future!!
All the best,millie
| 12 years ago. Rating: 13 | |
lambshank
You accepted the gift graciously, as is the way it should have been given,the shame and guilt is on them, it's not your fault, I would ask if they would like the gift returned to them to do with as they wish (perhaps sell it) I would also explain that any joy you may have had with the camera is now destroyed, I would also make it clear that, as mentioned previously, a visit would suffice, obviously they are living beyond their means if a couple of expensive gifts should not have destroyed their credit rating,if you decide to keep the camera, send them a few nice pictures, but whatever you decide there is no need for you to feel guilty, they should be more responsible.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
lindilou
Blow the stuff up!!!
| 12 years ago. Rating: 11 | |
figtree3
eggplant
I'd pack them up and post them back. I wouldn't wait for them to come back from overseas.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
We will remain friends with our son. I believe it's done and over with our daughter-in-law. (Actually it was over a long long time ago but I had high hopes that she had changed)
I got all sorts of advice here and I am very grateful for akaqa.
