masho
8 Answers
Ann
This is from the International Islamic Marriage Law
This is one of the darkest Chapters in History. The conflict between mother-in law and daughter-in-law. has been a century old tradition. Almost every house faces this tradition. How surprising is the matter that the mother brings up her son with utmost care and love. She longs for her son to grow up soon and when the son reaches his youth, she as the mother sets out to choose a suitible bride for her son. In the process of matchmaking, she insits on the most beautiful girls of the world to be her daughter-in-law.
But when that most beatiful girl leaves her fathers house and enters her new house,, the mother of her husband suddenly appears to be an avowed enemy. The reason for this conflict is purely a psycological one.. The mother who has been reigning over the house for the last so many years, suddenly finds that a new woman has come to share not only monopolistic authority of thes house, but also the love and affection of her son. The newcomer woman not only diverts the attention of her father-in-law, but also the attention of other male members of the house.The son also gets more involved in his wife than his mother.. He does not call his mothers for his requirements. The father-in-law also gets immense pleasure to call his daughter-in-law for his needs. This becomes unbearabale for the mother-in-law and she develops a feeling of jealousy against the newcomer. The mother-in-law cannot tolerate this, since she thinks the house still belongs to her. and the entire house gets involved in this conflict.
Every mother-in-law schould treat her daughter-in-law as her own daughter. The mother-inl-law schould gently teach her the correct way of doing things and become a useful companion to the newcomer. She should accept the wife of her son as her own daughter.Once this relationship develops between these two ladies, the hause surely will turn into heaven on earth.
Every daughter in-law schould treat her mother-in-law as her own mother. She schould pay due respect to her, obey her commands and attend to her nneeds. If the mistress of the hose rebukes her her on some matters, she schould not answer back..She schould treat her father-in-law as her own father and look after his requirements. She schould never think of dividing the family by demanding a seperate house for herself. She schould be kind to other family members.
The son schould treat his bride with kindness and schould not neglect his parents He should carry out all transactions through his mother. He schould instruct his bride not to undertake any work without the permission of his parents.
This is only part of what I found on Islamic marriage law. Even if by any chance you are going to marry him, his mother wont be kind to you. Maybe you schould think about what it would be like for you to live in that house.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
eggplant
williamtheman
love marriage is allway correct, arrange marriage can be good for some I see it works for many of my Muslim friends. but I prefer a marriage that has started with love, if the family don't like it that will cause problems, but if the family that care for there child should look to see if the marriage produce good results. to Not do so would hurt them and there child and show that there love for the child was not good.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
Bob/PKB
If you and the man you love are bound to rules of Islam, you should check with one of your religious leaders.
My dad did not like the man I married. I never knew this until well after my husband and I were divorced, which was several years after my dad passed away.
He respected my choice and loved me enough to NEVER do or say anything that would have created sadness for me.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
digger
This is a sad dilemma you are in. Ann's comments are very interesting and if true, it would stand to reason that you too will, one day, be the jealous mother in law. You may vow that it won't happen to you but who knows ? Not all Muslims are as Orthodox as your family as well as your possible future family in the way they live and interpret the Quran. If you have a sister in law, ask your mother (or better still,your sister in law) whether the relationship between the two was confrontational in any way. If it was, and still is, the writing is on the wall. If not, then perhaps its just a personality fault of your future monster, er, I mean, mother in law.
You have, in my opinion, the following choices: You can accept the likely scenario and learn to live with it; You can try to convince your future husband to act like a good Muslim man and enlist his father's help in putting her in her rightful place; you can try to convince your parents that in this country,Muslims are more accommodating in their traditional religious views and practices than in the old country.
Best of luck to you both.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
valR
jhharlan
masho
infact i am v beautyful ...my family is also 1 of the best family ....but his mom is realy jealous from me ...in start she agreed but she want him to leave me .... she only wants to d grade me and my family ....i ask the guy to leave me ......but he dnt want to leave me ...i dnt know what to do .... i cant run away coz its against the values of my family ....
in these conditions ...can i marry to dat person ?coz my family is agree..... i want to know that to marry such guy is a sin for me or not ?coz by doing so m hurting his parents ..... guide me plzzz:(
| 12 years ago. Rating: 3 | |
