8 Answers

Sounds like you are being taken advantage of! Why not go home for a surprise visit and see what's really shaking? Then you will have more clarity of your situation!

There must be more to the story. Take a good look at yourself and ask your wife.......

That's a very long time to be away, it sounds as though she has a life of her own now, ask to meet with her and talk through options for you both, perhaps counseling may help, though I doubt it's value in this situation, did you keep regular contact with your wife and children whilst you were away? establishing a relationship with your children is important. I wish you the best

It sounds like a sad story but you have 3 children so you must have dropped in now and then. When did you visit last?  If its been 20 years well, that could be difficult!

Are you being hunted? (the law). 17 years, why? Do you still have contact with your kids? My friend, she's been boinking someone else after all this time. "Send money", your nuts. Show up at the door with flowers and salad dressing. You'll know what to do with the flowers in five minutes.

You must have been back many times to see your family.I dont know the whole story. Just drop by and see what the problem is and spend time with your children. It sounds like there might be someone else in the picture.

do nothing, there is nothing else to do

Are you trying to tell us that you have not been home nor spoken to your wife in 20 years?  Hmmm...somehow, something in your story, does not ring true.  If it is true, what happened the last time you were together, face to face?  I'm sure that you didn't suddenly decide to "go home" and she didn't suddenly decide to say "no".  Please explain the whole story.