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    ok so im 14 and my boyfriend said for my 15th birthday hes getting me and engagement ring what am i supposed to say!

    im happy but confused on wht to say back

    +5  Views: 1110 Answers: 24 Posted: 12 years ago
    ROMOS

    If you like your boyfriend stay with him, have fun together, but you are both too young for engagement.
    Hope everything goes well for you.
    Good luck.
    Bob/PKB

    Hi Shy321. You posted that he is 16. As a tension-breaker, you could tell him that if and when he gives you an engagement ring, it should be at least 2 carats. He needs to start saving up for your 21st birthday. (Don't be in any hurry to settle down. It sounds like you have your head on straight.)
    I'm also echoing ROMOS's thoughts to you.
    gloriafrmCal

    Dear Shy321. For 14 you did the right thing and asked an honest question. I agree with ROMOS and Bob/PKB be patient. And hold out for the rock.

    24 Answers

    Fourteen is far too young to make a decision that will potentially change the rest of your life.His heart is in the right place & he obviously thinks you are a keeper,so tell him you want to stay with him to have some fun but without the lifetime committment.All the advice you have received here is good.Go with it.....PLEASE!

    In my opinion " NO ". You,re too young to be thinking of this.


    Get out and enjoy your youth while you can.


    IT DOESN,T LAST LONG.

    shy321

    i think it will last
    doolittle

    AMEN!!!! It doesn't last long!!! Enjoy being young and healthy!!!!

    Engagement is a very serious proposition.  I would talk to your parents.  This may be moving just a little too fast.  He may actually want something else. 

    NO...Did we skip over looking forward to Prom,driving,going to college,meeting new and exciting people. You know all the little stuff.

    Say no! You are way too young to be engaged! He probably just trying to tie you down and be controlling. How old is he .  You have at least 4 more years of school! Slow down.  I've had at least 25 or 30 boyfriends since 14, married twice, divorced twice. Now with my third life partner since 1989.  Take your time enjoy smell the roses

    shy321

    hes 16
    witchway

    clu, Sage advise.

    Not just a ring from one of those Safeway Grocery store quarter machines,


    Tell him "Every Kiss Begins with Kay", and for him to wait another half a dozen years for marriage and sex.


     

    Shy...here is what you say...."No thank you.  I'm way too young to even think about accepting an engagement ring.  Before I do that, I need to graduate from college, buy a whole new wardrobe, get a job, learn how to invest money, buy myself a car and some furniture, and put a down payment on a house.  After I do all of those things, I may begin to think about getting engaged or....I may not."

    Tell him that is a wonderful thought, but you are nowhere near ready to be engaged.  If he insists, that is a red flag waving right in your face that he wants to own you. 
    I hope he accepts your hesitance and you find something fun to do on your birthday, take lots of pictures, and can always remember your 15th birthday being really special.
    (I am not suggesting  "x -  e -  s"  as the memorable activity, either.  P.S. Spelled the word backwards, just to be on the safe side) 

    Bob/PKB

    The PS, Um....

    Say no come back when I'm 18 and I'll think about it. (bet he won't be there)

    Bob/PKB

    You didn't need to add the snide remark in parenthesis.
    Headless Man

    LOL, yes I did...... A 15 year old wait 4 years.....LOL
    shy321

    thnx Bob/PKB i agree with u

    Tell him you'll accept it as a "promise" ring............

    shy321

    thts wht i said too but he was like no promis rings are stupid.... i dont get him sumtimes
    jhharlan

    Than simply don't accept it............

    "That is a sweet thought but I'd rather :rollerbalde, sail, have a sweet 16 party, play laser tag......etc. for my 16th Birthday!  I'm not allowed to get engaged until I finish college.  Lets keep dating and having fun with our friends"   

    doolittle

    I'm sure your parents would back you up on the engagement after college part if you told them what was going on.

    Can you describe the ring before I answer the question?

    shy321

    he hasnt givin it to me yet
    digger

    Oh...well...in that case, prepare for plans A and B and decide accordingly.
    Ducky

    Moderator
    If it's gold with lots of diamonds, should she go for it? :)
    digger

    Only if it's 18K gold with a genuine South African single bulky rock.
    ...none of that cheap 10K metal with cubic zirconia.

    Go the old fashion route , tell him he must ask your dad first for your hand in marriage..!!

    Promise rings are very popular... Tell him you will accept a promise ring.. But you are too younge to be engaged... if you brake up... give it back.

    Enjoy your childhood my dear because it only lasts a short while. When you become an adult then you will be an adult for the rest of your life!  Oh yeah, and talk to your parents for they will always look out for your best interests. Trust in their love for you.

    Don"t do it!!!   Just don't do it!!

    Oh come on now, this is the most immature thing i have ever heard.It all sounds romantic and sweet, maybe he is your first love,  but do you really think this will be the guy that you are going to spend the rest of your life with ?I doubt it.What you say to him is, i will accept a ring from you, but make it a friendship ring.

    shy321

    first love r u sure.....?

    Tell him to save it untill he finishes a college and get a job. If by then you will be by at least 18 year old and still loving each other you will accept it if he will still be willing to offer to you.

    Tell him you'll think about it for at least the next decade . Then tell him you need at least a 2 karat diamond solitare so start saving now if your serious . Also whilst your Courting me don't even think of touching or looking at any other nymphs if you can control your hormones which is doubtful I may accept at the end of the decade but don't count on it .

    tell him, maybe you'll marry him after high school  and after  you both have a degree or certificate from college,or some kind of vocational school, at least. It's a certified world out there.  Love doesn't pay the rent. And don't have a baby untill you both have good jobs.!

    If you have to ask ....then 'NO' thanks; not now.  :)

    i think if you have to ask that question, you kinda already know in your heart what the answer is.  i bet hes your first serious boyfriend, and WOW!  he says hes going to get you an engagement ring,  that is so exiting.   i bet part of you wants to say YES, you think what your girlfriends will say,,  they will be sooo jealous!!  Another part of you,  the part that is what you will be when you have grown into a young woman, says hold on a moment,  that means complete comitment, no looking at other guys, maybe not going out with your girlfriends so much, because he wont like it.,  what if you dont get to go to college, or get that job you were dreaming of,  or what about travel?  have you ever dreamed of going places? say Paris or somewhere?  and you cant because., you got engaged at 15, married at 16,  and 2 kids by the time you are 20,   sometimes this is right for some people,  but i dont think they would ask this question,  they would know,    if hes not listning, and says you should be gratefull, or something,  he using something called emotional blackmail  -  an example would be  "If you really loved me like you say you do,  you would say yes"   -  the answer to this is  "if you loved me the way you say you do, you would not keep pushing me for an answer"     OR  "baby if you love me, you would do it"    what ever "it" he wanted at the time.  Some guys are very good at pushing our buttons,  it works best on girls that are nice, quiet, and caring.  you find it hard to say no, to anybody, wether thats helping with the dishes when you want to study, or going somewhere to support a friend (like seeing a really lame film).   sounds like you could do with a good talk with someone,  is there a teacher you trust?  or maybe the Samaritans  (you dont have to be sucidal, you can talk about anyting and in confidence)  or maybe look in the phone book for youth councilling, help for young people,  its in cofidence they wont tell your parents, teachers or friends,  and if sitting down talking face to face is too  much,  PHONE  you will feel a whole lot better when you can talk this out i bet,   that said  i  think  you have already made a very smart desicion,  by asking this question on-line.   i know you have had a lot of conflicting advice!!   big help huh??  but i would think its helped you a bit.   another thing to try  -  make a list  -   10 reasons why i should say yes //  10  reasons why i should say no    -  alright thats 2 lists!  tear it up when you are done,   but i think it will help -  seeing it all on paper somehow makes it more real.   i  hope this helps you.   i hope you come back and tell us  your descion,   and i hope you keep in touch,  there are so many questions out there,  not just the really serious ones.   dont forget us,  keep in touch,  you have friends here.


     

    Ask him what he's going to get you when you're 40!

    Thank you and a hug? A nice tie in return?. Say its a "Friendship ring" like a "friendship band" if you want him to know that it's taken as a nice gesture but does not mean that much to you, if you don't want him as someone special. Otherwise let your conscience speak. And it will if you like him or like him not :).



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