15 Answers

The mind can play tricks.  Ahhh...it was sooooo wonderful back then!  Was it really?  Relationships end for a "reason" and "those reasons" fade away much faster than the happy memories.  I think that's how we cope with past heartaches.

Ducky

No doubt.

It happened to me . About 5 years ago , my ex-finance' from the 70s wanted to see me. So, I told him I'd meet him in a resturant. We talked about general stuff. Then we went to a library b/c he wanted to show me some of his pictures of years ago. The library was closed. So, we sat in my car and I told him he had wasted my childbearing years.; and that he's got to stop lying to people to manipultate them . Then , he called me a few times adn I said I'm not going out with him. He said, " But ,  you're the only person who can love me "  No, I don't love him. It's been 35 yrs. since I loved him . He's a sociopath who backed out of marriage twice with me ! It was all a scam

My first thought is "Go Away"...but if you have any questions for him- now's the time.  Keep your expectations low (though maybe he now realizes he was hurtful and wants to apologize????)  I might have a friend around...don't invite him to your home..go somewhere in public- so you can leave quickly if he upsets you again!!!!

I have no advice at all. When I got divorced I lost a child as well ,not to be seen or heard of again,after they returned to Brazil . My son found me after 30 years ,and his mother is in touch as well. I never though I would be in touch with them again . So I am in the same boat as you ,day by day . We did chat once on line ,scary as hell all came back like it was yesterday .Not going to be doing that chat thing again .We talk about our son and the weather,thats about all. They live in Brazil and I am in the USA  my son has visited 2 times for about a week each time . Strange saying good bye to a baby and having a grown man shake your hand saying Hi Dad ! I am going to be no help at all here ,just thought you might enjoy my story . You are not alone with this ,I mourned her for years and finally put her out of my mind,now the scariest thought is "what would I do if I was given the chance to see her face to face " I was given the chance to go to Brazil several times at no cost . HMMMMMMMMMMM Am I chicken or what ? Could be sitting on the beach in Rio with a drink and a hot Brazilian woman  I must be nuts too!

Daisy

My heart goes out to you.  I too have survived a 30 something year old 'stiring of the feelings'.  But for me it wasn't so bad.  I moved on not too long after desolving the relationship.  To release me from the haunting history I had, in my mind only, forgive the pereson.  By doing this I freed myself from forever holding a grudge or holding onto hate.  The grudge stuff can really really hold a person back from living free.  Sometimes called baggage. 

Rekindling any kind of friendship before you have freed yourself from that time in your life can cause overwhelming distraught.   Nothing positive will result.  BAAADDD karma.   I would never do it myself, I know better now.

Go easy on yourself Daisy, Im sure there are maney out thier that need your love.

I had to step back and really think about it.  And remember everything!  Which made me angry he had the nerve to make me go through that AGAIN.  Told him to get lost lose the #,email  everything!  I also told him off,  it was very satisfying.

Thats a horrible and insensitive thing to do, I would send the pics right back without comment and block him from further email contact

Good to see you again how you been..

Daisy. A man like that is not worth even to give him a second thought. To send you a picture of his family speaks of a sadistc nature. He wants you to suffer. Maybe now you can forget about the hurt he has caused you. Be happy you did not marry him and cut off any communication with him. He is a louse.

How about just plain old "Aloha".  The word means both hello and goodbye.  To make sure there'd be no ambiguity, say "Aloha" as you're waving to him while your legs are propelling you to go the opposite direction.. 

ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHA!

Just like that.  You're gone.

I really don't know.

You say, " I hope life has treated you well." And walk away... You can never go back. I feel your pain... I know how badly it hurts. xoxoxoxo

Hi how have you been all these years. your looking well .

Oh dear, Daisy, you don't deserve any of this.  What a cretin.  
You have been given some really good advice.  The only different offering I can make is that you have been adamant that you aren't really excited about seeing or talking to him.  I don't think you want to be rude, though, and feel that some sort of response is in order.  Sooooo, respond with,
"Yes, that is me.  Please don't contact me again.  Thank you. "  
 Something like that.