11 Answers

I think he will now.  I don't want to sound flip but I would buy him a bike helmet and tell him to smarten up... !  Darn it anyway... He should not be upsetting his mother like this... Fool.

30yrs old! #3! Kinda tells it,s own story. Hopefully the 90 days will do the trick, it,s up to him.

He should consider himself lucky with just such a light sentence....I was fined $1800 with my only DWI and did 30 days. He should sober up before he kills someone...........

In PA he would be doing three years in prison, loss of license for life, and a minimum 10K in fines. Save your breath, you have to let him hit rock bottom before anything good can begin to happen. The sad thing is he blames the police for his dilema. Until he realizes that the booze put him in jail, there isn't a thing anyone can do or say. At least for 90 days you need not fear a knock at the door by the police at three in the morning telling you your son has been killed in a wreck. I know this sounds raw, I too am a parent and agonize over the same issue.

Does he have a drinking problem? He made need treatment and you do too. To be able to help him, you need it. Even if he doesn't go you can and learn how to deal with him in a positive way.

Whether he has a problem or not, it's no excuse to drive while drinking. He can surrender the keys to a responsible person, before drinking. Call a cab, call mom, call a friend for a lift home. Or walk.

I think the courts are lost on how to handle this problem. I do not believe, 90 days in jail, $3,000 will help solve the problem. Going without driver licenses for 6 years, I do agree with. It will not solve the problem ,but may save lives.

He needs treatment. He has to understand he can not drink alcohol,ever. Until he is willing to accept this. The court can only try to keep him from harming himself and others.

You left out, if he has a temper when drinking. Does he do any kind of drugs? Does he hold down a job, A wife, kids? He needs goals and learn how to work toward them.

Get yourself some help, the best way to handle this is through education. Know the enemy. Then fight for yourself, your son and your family.

Good Luck!

i have a friend who spent a year in prison for dwi,s. i think he had 4. he definately lost weight. but still drives "buzzed" .dummy.

When the DWI's start stacking up like that, and the alcohol affects his life like it has...there's little doubt he's an alcoholic. Nothing will change until he gets a handle on it...and that only comes by him admitting he needs to stay away from the booze, and then staying away from it.

Hopefully, he will get some exposure to A.A. in jail, and get to listen to other people who have been there, and something sinks in at a time he feels he needs to change. Not everyone there is successful in abstaining from booze...but it does offer the tools to start dealing with it, and many people have regained their lives with its help.

Thats a good place for him to be right now. Hopefully he will get help in prison. You schould go to Al -Anon meetings to get help how to deal with his drinking. It affects everyone in the family.I know, my ex was an alcoholic. It affected my children and me in the most negative way.I attented Al-Anon meetings, just to stay sane. You cant be an enabler and have to set rules, as hard as it is. Hopefully this is a turning point in his life.

I hope he gets the help he needs, you shouldn't have that worry on your shoulders. I have two sons in their 30s they have had a few problems , always a worry. You just have to be there for them don't you, I know how you feel. 

Time for some tough love . No more help period . You are his crutch and of course he will use you . Stop being there . He is responsible for his own life at 30. Walk away is not at all what you wish to hear . Forcing him to be responsible  for his own disasters is the only way . You are getting sucked in to his disaster and being used ,arent you tired of that ? No decent 30 year old man does laundry at Mommys house . Dr Phil would say you need your foot in his back side and some new locks on the house . You are enabling this behaviour  as a parent you need to be saying NO right now and loudly ,and firmly . I am being blunt but please hear these words :If you do what you have always done ,then you will get what you have always got. Nothing changes ,Do something new learn to say NO and pray God will give you the strength to stick too it.

It seem to me you got some great advice from all the answers here, unfortunitly for him he has to do some time over it,  fortunitly he hasn,t killed any one yet. perhaps some time in jail will do him some good as well as yourself, sorry for the pain he put you through but perhaps now you can both rest knowing he's not a treat to himself or anyone else..