11 Answers

Sounds normal to me--You're not her mother, you're taking her mother's place.  'Raising stepchildren 101' .  It'll pass eventually. Do nothing, don't pander, it just makes things worse, let her work it out her own way.  My wife went through the same thing with my son.. He lived with me, when she stepped in he made it very clear he didn't like her.. Normal..

Everything I could suggest would probably be illegal.

13 is a difficult age tho,especially when there is a broken marriage.Patience!

As if life isnt hard enough !! All the every day trash and this too. 13 is a psycho age anyway ,the advice above looks on track so I would take it to heart . Vinny is right on the money . Her unhappiness is not important in the whole scheme of things . We choose how we feel about things ,and this is her choice . Tough!!!!! Start concentrating on your happiness ,you have a choice as well . Dont mean you bow to a 13 year old tyrant . While you are having fun and she is not included in the good stuff attitudes will change quick . God I can not imagine a war of wills with a 13 year old tell her shes lucky I am not in charge . I would put some heavy duty duck tape to good use pen a quick for sale or trade sign put her at the curb and in a couple of hours my troubles would be over . Maybe !

Just keep doing the right thing, and remember that you are the adult in this situation. Eventually things will get better. I went through something similar to this many years ago. I just kept doing the right thing, trying to be there for him when he needed someone to be...and after awhile they come around.

The key patience, and more patience the less you tell them sometime there the one that will ask for advice sooner or latter.Anger response will only turn them away.You need too stay calm and in control don't let her have the upper hand., one day at time.

First of all welcome to the site This is a hard one I have been in your shoes except my stepson is a boy and was this hard work !! we had him every weekend and school holls and and when his father went to school he was a different child pleasent pollite I started takening out as he was into skateboarding and tiik him to the veneus ect you must find what her hobbies are and do research! and join in with what she likes dont let her dominate your life put down boundrys from the start talk to her about her mother be nice with the questions and praise the mom good luck

Tie her to the doorknob.

love her anyway!!!  I was in this situation one kid loved me the other...not so much-she was 13!  I loved her. I knew I couldn't be Mom so, I decided to be an older person who wouldn't judge her...it took a while, and stressed me out, but eventually we built a relationship.

Had three step fathers, two were great. The bad one I almost shot, and I mean shot. Step parents have to undestand that they are moving into their new childrens life, not visa versa. Patience and understanding that you are the new guy on the block will go a long way.

Just keep pumping love into her. She'll come around, or at least she'll have good memories of you. I don't think she hates you. She is just afraid that you'll take her daddy away from her. Make sure that he and his daughter have plenty of alone time together......just the two of them to do daddy-daughter things.....like hiking, biking, going to a movie or a fair or festival; or a book store and they could stop in the cafe' afterward.

Sounds as if she`s very worried that her Dad will love you more than her..or that shes just not going to get the same attention she`s used to from her Dad!..13 IS A HARD ENOUGH AGE at the best of times..can her Dad sit down and reassure her that she`s still his VERY SPECIAL girl?...And maybe if you both want to you can do some girl stuff together..shopping,chick movies,pampering sessions etc...She`ll soon realize that its a bonus having a cool step mum around!!:-))...Maybe you can ask her advice on fashion etc..(LOL..I don`t mean PATRONISE HER)!!..just show how her you value her oppinion..and reassure her that your her friend NOT her Mother!:-¬...

good luck,

millie xx