19 Answers

Your boyfriend doesn't like you hugging your guy friends because he has control issues and suffers with jealousy. 

He won't tell you because he doesn't understand himself.

Colleen

Hmm, your best answer sounds a lot like my answer that I got yelled at for. ;)

Colleen

hahahaha

Colleen

Every time you do the la la la, I think teletubbies, lol

Colleen

SLAM!!!! YOU LOST BEST ANSWER! LMAO. She stripped you of your blue! hehehehe
Kids are so fickle!

byunicorn.....LISTEN....okay?   You asked this question because you wanted an answer, didn't you?

YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANOTHER PERSON...YOUR BOYFRIEND IS JEALOUS....YOU ARE TAKING THAT AS A COMPLIMENT....YOU THINK THAT SHOWS HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU BUT IT DOES NOT....IT SHOWS THAT HE IS INSECURE....HE WILL FIND MORE THINGS THAT HE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO DO.....OR ELSE!!!!!  YOU ARE HEADING FOR A LIFE OF BEING CONSTANTLY CONTROLLED AND TOLD WHAT TO DO......RUN!!!!!!!! 

 (Sorry to yell at you but I can tell that you are not listening and I am also trying to get through to you.)

Jealousy and control. I'd dump him. It will only get worse. 

Colleen

You can not help him. He has to do this all on his own. You are not a doctor or psychiatrist. You can't "fix him". Your love is misplaced. You are not doing either of you any good.

Hmmm! The BF doe's have issues so tell him to take it up with the other guys doing the hugging.

If he goes all quiet & sheepish at that suggestion..... Give him the flick.

It will only get worse.before long you won't even be allowed to talk to other guys I'll bet.

I have seen it all before & trust me it's not worth the heartache.Be your own person.True to yourself.You make the rules.

Its there "Cheap aftershave Smell.Move on get a life.

Hugs ... strong hugs ... Always seem sexual to me.

I had a psychologist who always gave me a too close hug. (Or one that I didn’t usually get at family dinners.) Things got confusing for me. I’m not a lesbian but there were some feelings that she awoke in married with kids, me. (This was many years ago)

I went to her because my mother had had a massive stroke and this hugging caused a crisis of conscience for me. I had to switch psychologists.  I later found out my lady therapist was on the lookout for close lesbian relationships. I believe she lost her license.

This is nothing compared to the male psychiatrist I went to. Another day, kids.

By unicorn, my feelings are probably different from others because of my experience. I was just spouting off. Take care. Beware.

Ducky

Hugs do not seem sexual to me...just a little more friendly way to greet someone...male or female...just saying.

Colleen

Well you can blame the therapist for part of it but to use the "traumatized and vulnerable" cards to explain your feelings away is, in my opinion reaching for an escuse. You've mentioned this story quite a few times here. I think you are looking for an answer on how to settle the feelings she awoke in you. There is no answer. Your the one who has to face them and place them.
The therapist was indeed wrong if she was making advances on you. Sounds like she got what she deserved if she was indeed doing this to you and other women. I would say she was a sexual predator undeveloped since all she was doing was giving hugs at that point. Did you report her for her actions? Or did you leave that to others to handle?

JEALOUSY

no i am doing us both good so give me pointers or just don't comment anymore on this

Colleen

Do not be snarky. The advice I gave is the best advice you will ever get concerning your "relationship". If you do not like the answers or are just too young to accept advice from someone who has been there and done that, then do not ask the questions. You can not change a controlling personality. Only they can change who they are. It's best to learn this now before you get your heart trampled on many times before you learn you can not fix people.

Colleen

Well just get use to that feeling then since you want to keep him. You're giving him no reason to change.

If it's just a hug and nothing more then ther's no harm done, if there is more to it then thats a bit different. I think you should talk to him and assure him there is nothing more . Sounds like he's a bit insecure, take the advise of everyone on hear , most have had experieces , I mean that in a nice way.                                                                        

My guess would be your guy doesn't want you hugging his pals because he knows what thoughts are in their over-sexed minds.  If it bothers him because of that, stop it.  If he is trying to control you, that's another situation.      You can find out what the problem is without being confrontational. 
 

not all men are jelous like that, i know plenty of girls that hug guys in front of their boyfriends/husbands and it's of no issue..

because men are jealous and territorial. God made them that way. So are many women. I didn't like my late husband hugging other women.

I never thought about it and I could not see why I would want her to stop from hugging anything but perhaps a wild animals that would not be cool.

Are you a touchy feely person, in that you like to give hugs, kisses and the norm. to you.

Maybe he is a stiff, unfeeling person, a control freak, jealous to the extreme. Think about it.

Because most Men Are Insucure

Your not going to take anyones advise, so continue doing what you do, and deal with the inevitable BS.

Ducky

Da ya think? lol

For those of you who are interested in psychotherapy, it might be interesting and educational if you read about transference & counter-transference. The client in therapy is not “guilty” The therapist is not guilty as long as he/she seeks therapy on their own dime in their own time 

I was not able to report my therapist. Another woman did that. I was so devastated by my situation that I was unable to speak ... I wasn’t even able to finish my sentence on this site!  Strange.

Therapy will never be for me again. I thought it was odd that my repeating the situation here was taken out of the akaQA archives. Hundreds of questions and mine should be the one remembered.  My apologies if they are necessary.

Colleen

An apology is not necessary and I'm not sure why you think I was against you. I agreed with you that your therapist was wrong. I just questioned why it affected you so much because of the feelings she woke in you. But that has already been said so I will not repeat it. As for remembering your story, I remember many, many stories by many, many people here.

Off this topic, the administrators did let me know you sent them messages addressed to me about the other thread. I do not get those messages when you use the contact link, those go to the admin only. You can contact me directly through the e-mail address listed on my profile page. I did however see the same comments posted to the thread and replied to them there. ;)

IKR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Colleen

why bother to answer then? Are you old enough to be on this forum?