Still Angry
My husband deserted me and our four kids for a woman he rekindled on facebook that he known while in middle school. That relationship didn't work and he begged me to accept him back. I did..... But after a year of trying to work things out. I just couldn't forgive him and I left him. Its been a year now. And he wants to be friends but I cannot forget or forgive him. I do love him still very much but I do not want him back.
7 Answers
Shootah
Best answer!
I don't know if I blame you for not forgiving him! He tossed a whole family aside just to chase after someone else...that's a huge betrayal! It would be one thing if you two just couldn't get along and needed to split up. But, how does someone just discard 4 kids like they never meant anything to him at all? I honestly think there is something fundamentally wrong with someone who could walk away from his family, just to chase someone different. Your children will pay the price for his stupidity...and that's what would make it the hardest to forgive.I wish you luck though, and hope someone good and decent comes into you and your family's lives.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 9 | |
Bob/PKB
Possibly, you just haven't progressed to the point where you can "let it go". It sounds trite, I know. As long as you are hurt and angry, you aren't going to be friends or be able to establish a solid relationship with someone else. Your children have suffered (mine sure did); do they see or feel your anger? That would be one thing I would try to control and stifle. Very destructive on the kids.
Consider telling him that, while you'd like to have a better relationship with him, right now you just can't promise him anything. Ask him to be respectful of your need for him to keep his distance. If he respects that, he may have a chance to be friends later on.
It's up to you. If you send him away, make sure you have a good talk with your kid about WHY. Details aren't necessary; they just need to know you are still hurting and not able to forgive yet.
I hope you can find a couple of laughs here.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
daren1
it's in your heart,dig deeply or it will cause bitterness and the only who really loses is you.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
lambshank
I doubt I'd forgive either, you've obviously done a wonderful job of raising your children without him, I don't think you can ever gain that trust back once you've been betrayed so badly', you can be proud of what you have achieved without him, keep your head up and look forward to meeting someone that would appreciate you. I think you deserve a whole lot better than someone who left you and came running back when things for him didn't work out.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 6 | |
Ducky
Do you want to move beyond this awful situation that you have experienced or do you prefer to keep the drama going forever? If the first, seek counselling. If the latter, there are lots of people who will gladly listen to you everyday, and their negative view, along with your own, will keep you "stuck" forever. No one but you can make that decision. I hope you will think this over and hopefully, move in the right direction and that, my friend, is not looking back!
| 12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
ed shank
pythonlover
I admire your strength and courage to be able to stand on your own 2 feet and raise your children alone.I understand that you can't forgive, how could you ?The pain of betrayal and abandonment is still raw.Maybe one day when you recover from your pain, you might find it in your heart to forgive, but until then keep living your life like the independant woman that you are.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 1 | |
