17 Answers

Sometimes people only regret being caught. Sadly this is a very common thing now days with partners cheating and the other devoted one paying for it. Why is it so important for him to admit to you, you already have the std. Walking away and letting him go will maybe be the only way he will admit the truth in either desperation to get you back or later because you pose no threat knowing the truth. Maybe he thinks if he admits it to you, you will take his sorry ass to court...who knows. My best advise to you is to let go of this need for an admittance,you already know, he's not worth your begging. You will forever carry this thing so why let him have any more of you?

Put the STD doctor bill in front of him. Ask for an explanation. If he admits it, spit in his face. If he denies it, spit in his face.

Marie45.  I'm sorry you have had this happen to you.  Not just infidelity but an STD too!  I don't know if you will ever be able to believe him or trust him if he won't tell you the truth even with the facts staring him in the face.   The only way I see this working out is if you can try counseling together, especially if you have children and if YOU want to stay with him.  If this is not the 1st time it has happened I would pack my bags faster than you can get them down from the attic.  Good luck. 

Ducky

@Marie45...Not ALL men cheat! There are some very good men in the world and if you so choose, after a while, I hope that you will find one.

You know he has betrayed you.  He will not admit it, ever.  Time for you to move on,  beyond him and to a new and different life for you.  He won't ever change,  take with you what you learned from that relationship and forge new, better ones!!!   Best..........

STD's can sometimes hide in a persons systym for years. I mean you or your husband could have had it for twenty years and not have had any symtoms at all.  The fact is now you have it and you can pass it on to someone even if it isn't obvious.

It doesn't really matter, if I were you I would head for the hills as soon as possible. Your son wants you to be happy. You can do it and stand on your own two feet. Good luck in the future as a free woman.

While what sadiesays is true, you know the STD came from your husband. You know he is or was cheating.  You know but the only way you will BELIEVE is when the words come directly from his mouth.  Until he actually ADMITS these things, there is the tiniest possibility that you are wrong.
There is no need for him to admit anything as far as he is concerned.  You can think what you want and you can do what you want.  He never verified your suspicions.  This makes him the victim. 
The logic is absurd, but that's the way he's thinking. When people ask why you left, he'll say, "She had some damn fool idea I was cheating on her." He will be the object of sympathy and you will be the crazy woman. 

I have respect for your decision to leave and hope you do so without his "blessing" (admission).  You don't need that any more than you needed an STD.  When someone asks YOU what happened, you tell him/her, "It's really a personal matter. Thank you for respecting my choice to keep it that way."  You are now on such a high road, the entire earth could flood and you wouldn't even have wet toes.
 

Sweet heart the best thing to do is to pray about this situation. Take it to the LORD almighty. Put it in the Father's hands and he will do the rest. The LORD will make hime reveal the truth of what he has done. I know from personal experience what you are feeling because I went through the same thing honey. I will not tell you that it will go away but I will tell you through prayer it will get easier do not hold on to it because it will just make pain of it worst and make it harder to forgive so take it to God and do not go back and collect it and it will get better......not over night but will. 

women have the wonderful gift of intuition, however, sometimes we (women) second guess themselves because we all want to believe in our partner of choice, especially when we've been married a long time.  BobPKB is right, you know the answer, your husband might never admit it, but what I think BobPKB is saying is, you don't have to wait for your husband's seal of approval, or "validation" from a source that will never come, in the face of bold proof some people still deny. It's been a month & no matter what your choices ended up being you still have the power to proceed in a direction, don't expect your husband to give you the gift of an apology or an admittance of guilt, that puts the advantage in his court, makes him right, no matter what.  Now is a wonderful time to work on you, find out what you're all about, embrace your life, gain wisdom & forgive him, forgive yourself & you will set yourself free! Don't let all this define who & what you are, people do dumb things for dumb reasons, that's out of your control.  You only have control of the choices you make & take it as a lesson learned.  Btw, not everyone, male or female cheats, so try not to automatically cast your next partner into the same mold.  People attract & recreate situations when we don't intend to.  I did that for years, I felt like I was never good enough to be in the #1 slot so I was always the "other woman" as a teenager so I got the impression that all men were cheaters, liars & furthermore that there must be something wrong with me, that I wasn't "good enough" Not true!! You are worthy, don't let it mar you, really good book that might help you, "You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay" & she also does affirmations, very healing, revealing, & inspirational.  Move forward in your life, let go, if he was stupid enough to walk away from you (by cheating on you) then be smart enough to let him go (he'll probably keep on cheating) so it's good that you are not playing the role of "enabling his behavior like so many people do, this could have gone on for years & it's the worst kind because he denies all, there can be no trust, reconcilliation, etc unless he's willing to face his actions full on, no character!! Take care of yourself, God heals!

He has no respect for you . Get all your money and leave him. Go to doctor and get better. Good Luck to you.

I am sorry for thr turmoil you are going through..I'm going through a similsr situstion. They both have the answers to our qustions.But they insist on dragging us along. I need to hear the truth as well, Or at an admission of wrong.  This has made get my head out of the sand and take charge of me!

I wish strength and peace to you

Heal thyself first and then get some counseling. You're not going to get what you need to hear from him, get it on your own, heal thyself............

Sometimes, you just have to accept that it's "TIME TO PUT THE RUBBISH OUT".  Having done so, it's amazing how much easier life becomes.  Try it.   I did it, and life's wonderful.  I couldn't have said that before I put my rubbish out. 

I understand how you feel...

Why don't you leave a letter, and go............it's hard to talk about that sort of thing, because those involved don't want to go there...........P--S him off!!!!!

If you know it, why are you waiting?

The code word for most cheaters is "Deny" even if you see the girl walking out of his bed unclothed. Don't bother to waste your time asking. Just leave. You don't need something more serious than an Std. Ask yourself, how much do you love him? Do you love him enough to tolerate his being with someone else? If the answer is yes, then don't ask him because you have already decided to stay with him. If the answer is no. Then leave and make yourself a new life. By the way, choosing men who are unfaithful is said to be habitual. You choose a man because he is good looking, and smart and they are the players. Check out http://www.urbandictionary.com. Some men just do not make good husband material. I am sorry that you got riddled (diseased) and diddled by the man.

Why bother now? That marriage or relationship is like a ship running aground and ripping its undersides out...it's time for you to put on a lifejacket and simply get away from it.

if your husband has cheated and gave you std get him out your life right now  he will never change yes it will hurt you very much but please be strong and you will get there try find something else to do in your life

i could never stay in a relationship that didnt consist of trust and loyalty. ugh i absolutely hate that feeling in the stomach you get from all the mixed emotions that swirl around when it comes to dishonesty,resentment,anger and love.change is hard.nobody wants to be with a cheater but the relationship is routine and sometimes people would rather stay in a miserable relationship rather than make a big change. people become "comfortable" even in an undesirable environment. he is not holding you back from happiness-you are!  stop self sabatoging yourself and get rid of this jerk! u have been with him a long time! dont waste another second!!good luck!!