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    Please would you pray for my Mom - I think she is becoming demented - she is 91yrs and I am worried sick - she believes in pray so much and I am sure it would help her so much if she knew people were praying for her - I am not so capable physically anymore and she is so independent which does not make a good combination.

    I would be so grateful to you.

    +10  Views: 1649 Answers: 24 Posted: 12 years ago
    country bumpkin

    Moderator
    I'm sorry to hear abot your mom, Dopey. I know it's hard to see a loved one suffering.
    Poppy3

    thanks so sweet bumpkin. I don't wish to worry you all anymore -things are somewhat better and you have all been so very much of a help so grateful.

    24 Answers

    dopey sorry to hear about your poor Mom what a great age she is I will prey for her and you please be strong for her as you need her and she needs you even sometimes it wont show god bless you both xxx

    My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your mom. My mom was living with me when she had Alzheimers and I know it it very difficult to deal with. May God blessyou both.

    Poppy3

    Many thanks Ann - so very kind. So unusual to find this these days - In my career - I lived and died with people.

    You got it dopey, I have and will keep her in my prayers, keep us updated on her condition. My friend has a similar situation with his mother and she is now in a convalescent home because he could no longer take care of her. He said the only comfort in this is that she is happy, she no longer realizes where she is, but she is happy...  I don't know if that may help you, but God will always take care of us no matter what the situation or conditions are. God bless.


     

    Poppy3

    Thank you leeroy - but I would hate her to go into a home - my neighbours wife is completely on another planet - I used to walk with her, show her photos and go to see the ducks - but then she was given these antiphycotic drugs which have now been banned for people with dementia and if you like she seemed to leave this world but I believe she still understands and as you so rightly said she is happy. I have often wondered about this as it is seems like all the troubles have gone. Thank you so much.
    leeroy

    My pleasure dopey. I prayed for God to open the doors of where and what he wants you to do is this difficult situation. Stay strong in your faith. Remember that He will never leave us or forsake us.
    Poppy3

    What you have said leeroy is s0 inspiring for which I thank you - but you see I am undecided with regard to faith but she is not.
    leeroy

    Well, faith is a personal thing, I know I run away from God and don't naturally seek Him. The Bible says to seek God and He will reveal Himself to you. I'll pray that that will happen for you too. Sometimes it's takes effort to find God, other times He reveals Himself to us. Most of the time we just really have to seek Him... Hope this is helpful.?

    sure ill do it for you.

    Poppy3

    Please do not think it is for me though - I want to do so much for her but as I said she is so independent and I have recently become unwell - just adds to my worries and this is my main worry just now. Thank you so much brayan - it is to help her and sorry if it sounds to help me although I just love the way you say "sure I'll do it for you" so touching.

    Consider it done...My mom is 93 and I understand at least SOME of what you are talking about.  

    Poppy3

    Many thanks Bob - I wish you all the best with your mom and can see you understand - I hear you.

    Dopey,this must be so terribly difficult for you.ive lived and worked with dementia sufferers.What support are YOU getting?Dont be afraid to ask for help,you may need it my friend xx.Take care

    Poppy3

    leosmami - so many things are going on - I do have relatives and my good friends are out of London and I am someone who doesn't ask for help - I have given help in my career but not good at getting it for myself - even with my health - I look OK but nobody really gets it. I am so grateful and sorry for not thanking everyone at the time I posted the questionxoxo

    Know you are in my prayers as well as in my thoughts..................

    Poppy3

    jhhartan - thank you so much - I know I am in your prayers and thoughts - It has recently become more apparentx0 I do not like to talk to people on here about these things I have been talking lately but I guess it is just getting to me so much.xo

    My thoughts and prayers are with both your mother and you, dopey.  Whether or not, you are certain of "faith", I believe that prayers for you, from others, still work.  I understand what your concerns and worries are, as I went through it also, with my mother...very heartbreaking!

    pej

    Hang in there, Ducka; you are not alone in this. I'm always a firm believer that God wont give us the yoke heavier than we can carry. Remember, when you see only ONE footstep in the sand, it is because God carries you.
    Poppy3

    Thank you Ducka - sorry about your mom too - I guess this the way it is as we get older thank you again.

    My prayers are with you and your Mom. Know that both of you are well-loved! Blessings!

    Poppy3

    thank you so much clu - so kind of you.

    Our prayers are with you and may she feel better.  We pray for you to be strong at this difficult time. Look after yourself.

    Poppy3

    Thank you sawali - you are as I have said before such a good soul - just difficult right now - too many things going on.
    Prayings. I feel you. I have a mother whose just turned 68, in the nursing home, has dementia and other medical problems. I know how hard it is for you and family. stay strong and may God be with you, your mom, and family
    Benthere

    pej,

    I'm 64. Married 39 years next month.
    pej

    Wow! What's the secret in good marriage/ relationship?
    Poppy3

    pej - thank you so much - strange when I was in the hospital I had a lovely lady next to me and we discussed the story of footsteps in the sand.

    yes i a


    m praying for ur mother 


     


     

    Poppy3

    jahangir khan What an extrodinary kindess from you also so new here - kindest thoughts to you. I thank you.

    I am praying for her godbless.

    Poppy3

    anneim -I thank you so much and thank y0u more as this is sudden and difficult- how very kind of you as you are new to this site.

    Consider it done !!!! Prayers for you both !!!!! May you both receive the strength you need for these days . Iam sorry to see this news ,and hope that you are granted some wonderful moments of clarity during these days . All my best  dopey !!!!!!! The Bluesman .

    Poppy3

    Thanks to you bluesman - what a pain I am just now. I appreciate you all and it so helps.

    Count me in.

    Poppy3

    Thanks so much zorro - all seems better now and everyone here has helped.

    Many thanks to you all - she seems somewhat better - seems to vascilate with this memory thing. So much going on or should I say wrong in my life just now and as - I may not have a certain faith as Ducka says but when I get tot the end of my tether I hope the Big Man is there. Footsteps in the sand. Thanking you all again so much. 

    Ducky

    Moderator
    My mother has since passed away but I did have to put her in a home. Dopey, I want to tell you that it is difficult to do that, BUT, and this is important, although you will feel sad about doing that, it is still such a relief as you know that there is someone looking after her, 24 hours a day. You will feel more rested and still be able to see her as your time allows. It definitely relieves some stress so don't feel guilty about doing it. Also, they DO vascillate, one day seeming very "normal" with no memory problems at all, the next day, you hardly know who that person is, sitting in front of you. Probably what helped me the most, was learning all that I could about dementia/alzheimers disease, so that there are fewer surprises. Sadly, the day may come, when she no longer knows who you are...brings tears to my eyes thinking about how many times I saw that happen to caregivers. Stangely enough, my mother remembered me right to the last day but the nurses were shocked by that. (With other symptoms, I was not so fortunate.) Do what you think is the best for you, so that "YOU" don't crumble under the pressure. I hope this helps somewhat dopey. (( hug ))
    Poppy3

    Dear Ducka, thank you for your kind words - I understand what you are saying and you are right. I came back to this question because I hadn't thanked for such kindness. However, It was so strange everything seemed to get worse all at once for me my mother wanting her will sorted etc. hospital, Freeholder - court and as I was falling apart although my Mother didn't really get it as too complex and I did not want to worry her - my Mother started to act strangely - her conversations being confused and this memory thing and as you say seeming Ok next thing. I feel she is somewhat ok now but it hurt me at the time as she refuses help from me. I think I just got into a panic as really I feel she no way near dementia but she was adding to my worries - I just seemed to be worrying all the time as I thought she really was I think worse than she is. It is just that I became like oh no not more stress knocking at my door - no more room. hugs and kisses for you.Miri.x

    Dopey. sometimes people refuse help, because they are afraid to loose theire independence. Your mom is 91 yrs. old and sometimes forgets things, like we all do at times. I am glad she is better than you thought she was. I had a neighbor and when she was in her nineties, her mind was still very sharp. She died from a cold. So please dont worry so much and take care of yourself. I know you mentioned your decline started 6 yrs. ago after someone told lies about you. You should try to get that monkey of your back. You will feel so much better physcialy and mentally. . Love and prayers, Ann

    Poppy3

    Ann logically I know this as you know I do - strange though as I got more incapable recently Mum started all this memory thing and will not get that we all have this. You are so right that monkey is still around in my brain so unjustified I'll give it my all. Thankyou and love to you too. miri.

    You are carrying a heavy burden Dopey caring looking after Mum .At 91 some age .But thats what we do I was very close to my Mum she was 82 but wanted to go ,to see her sisters young brother and her mum dad .She got her wish on Christmas day I did not cry because she with her love ones .she loved me my sisters and brothers as mums do .bless you and that lovely lady .

    Poppy3

    Yeah that's what we do - just got kinda panicky and worrying so much she didn't want to come to me for Christmas as always and didn't want me either, was difficult and I was thinking I would die before my Mum just felt helpless not being able to help but must say she seems better now thanks dowsa so glad your Mum got her wish and Christmas was enjoyable as it should be.
    dowsa

    Thanks Dopey It was. Her name is in the Remembrance book on 25th each year.

    Dear Bill, So funny you should say that - There will be I believe some very good Karma this year from about the end of January for everyone - For many this will be a relief because although I speak of my troubles it has not been easy for many I know and where I was always the strong one - seem so alone now here  - two of my dearest friends dying these last two years along with everything else , I guess everything so personal seemed to be worse perhaps than it is I spent a whole week or so asking "What is this life - why are we here???" so very earnestly.   I have to recover my positive feelings seemed to have lost my last scrap of dignity here.  The very best to you - I'll be thinking of you too. Miri. 

    Ducky

    Moderator
    I've also learned over the years, that being exhausted from the stress of any difficulty, makes it seem 10 times worse. I said during one long "episode" in my life, "Oh, if only I could get just one decent night of sleep."
    Poppy3

    Just know the feeling of late that is for the last 6 years or so - often think of that guy in "Cuckoo's Nest" walking around this nut house with his broom saying "I'm so tired" - great film went to the Premiere and entire audience were dumbfounded and stood up and clapped.
    bluesman1951

    In times like these nothing gets me through like a couple of hours of listening to IZ and Willie Nelsons :Precious memories. I would also suggest trying "Fluffy Guy " Some times in spite of it all ,even when the tears flow like rivers you still need a laugh. All these can be found on you tube .Those who are gone expect you to have plenty of new material and great stories to tell when you meet again at the bridge between this world and the next. Start living large as small stories and wimpy tales of wasted days simply will not do . Surprise yourself , look in the mirror and say with conviction " I cant believe you did that " Whats next ???? Make everyone envy your days . Think of a new friend ,complete stranger and bake a apple pie ,Thermos of hot chocolate and go sit and wait see who shows up to share the pie .Train trips are good for this ,just a day trip out and back . Have and adventure where you dont know the out come . My best times have been unplanned and a complete surprise .never be without a camera ,not a moment ,tell a story ,yours and others , write notes as well on the human condition . There was a movie of the old west where a woman wrote her thoughts and tied them to a tumble-weed. And gave them to the wind ,cowboys far and wide found them . You can guess the results . For me type into Goggle : Photo Blogs once there you will explore until you find one that meets your needs . After the music and the exploring you will know just what to do . Time to tell the story ,some blogs are open to the public others you have a choice . Point is you will find great comfort in this later and you can share later with all if you wish . Write your heart out make a epic memory of these days. Wait until its all done to name it . Hope this advice helps. Bill
    Poppy3

    Wow Bill and what can I say now - great advice and so much wisdom. I was always so very ridiculously optimistic - until these later years and recently have this difficulty going out - once out OK and the world seems right again. I am going to have to make various trips to the hospital maybe this will be a good thing and I will come out of this reclusive phase - love Willie Nelson have many of his CD'S and I also looked up lZ as you told me before - great too. Hate to say I have had the most amazing life - always told I should write a book from friends who knew the outline sometimes even reminding me of my various experiences - cannot remember most of it rather lived it all for the moment afraid of people envying me though so during my work place never talked about it all as I am afraid of jealousy always have been - this was the start of my decline six years ago a women I worked with created so many lies about me and a Doctor friend of mine said she was jealous of me just being me - in reflection she was but the outcome for me was devastating. Thanks for your advice - blown me away and amazed that you have bothered and I will do my very best and recover my joie de vivre if that's correct.miri.

    Hi Dopey.It makes a lot of sense what you said about being reluctant to ask for help,it is difficult ,i know that.Its an awful situation youre in though.Whos looking after you?My love,moral support and thoughts are with you.Take care x

    Poppy3

    Thanks leosmami - you are all worrying too much for me - Just spoke with Mum on the phone all so strange - she seems so OK now and actually said she has always been a drama queen my cousin whom I got to execute her will says she is just being self-centred to a degree me having these problems lately Mum has always been so inclined - I think she is somewhat forgetful and confused about thinks but seemed more since I became less able - hopefully I'll get stronger with all - thing is I look so ok that nobody realises around here all 30 something in the house behave like nine year olds, - can't tell you how many times my cousin and friends have told me to look after myself - all not in London. So so kind of you such kind thoughts - take care youx

    Hi Dopey. My mom is 90 and I can feel for you. I am still so close to her and dread to loose her. I have prayed for you both. God is our only hope and He cares.

    Poppy3

    thank you so friendindeed - strangely Mum said to me but 15 minutes ago "So long as God is there we'll be alright". We will I'm sure - perhaps she will be less dramatic about little things which doesn't help me at the moment in the scheme of things - she sounded entirely different, still a little confused - we are talking only Sainsbury's but more upbeat. So kind of you.

    Yes I know , Like points here I have some good karma from the universe  coming so on your behalf Ill be asking for some of it for you . All my best    Bill

    Poppy3

    Hi again Ducka - great year for you coming.

    Chiangmai thank you so much - Mum seems better today more upbeat. We will be ok I guess - I'll just have to get stronger. I have always been interested in Buddhism - have some little Buddhas around the flat and saw a temple in Sri Lanka. I have also some books two of which "The Wisdom of China" by Lin Yutang, "Buddhism for Today" (Alec Kennedy) for the Western Buddhist Order and two most beautifully illustrated children's books "Yebbin A Guest from the Wild" "The Silent Traveller" by Chiang Yee and "Dabbitse" by Chiang Yee first printed in New York and London in the forties. thank you for your kindness again - such a beautiful picture of your? little one with the puppies - such a joy.

    I just did, both Christian and Budhist prayers.  I hedged my bet for her.  This way she is covered!



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