13 Answers

It's so much easier to forgive than forget, but it seems as though your spouse can't do either. seems like you got two choices ,move on or stay where you are and live in misery, once trust is broken it's extremely hard to regain, if you really want it to work why not try counciling...

You can't make someone forgive and trust you.  It sounds like you need to move on.  I know that hurts you because of your last few questions.  Try to get some counseling.  It seems like you need someone to talk to really bad.  I hope you end up on the good end of this.  Did you have an affair and now she is having an affair to get back at you?

Once you lose trust in a person, its very hard to get it back. Since it was you who caused her not to trust you anymore, its up to you to change your ways or get some help through counseling or a church.

Maybe your relationship has run its course,just because you have been with your partner for 10 years,doesn't mean you are destined to be together for ever.If she has no intentions of reconcilling with you let her go and accept the fact that she can't get past the trust issues(some people can't) therefore sadly, the relationship/marriage ends.

Well, maybe you have only yourself to blame. Life is hard sometimes. I suppose you'd best move on too. You have your kids, rejoice in them. I hope you find a way.

Time heals all wounds isn't necessarily true. Betrayal of trust through infidelity is probably one of the most painful to get over. Essentially you rejected her as a woman and chose another to share the one most intimate part of your relationship with.Making love , having sex is the closest you can ever get and the most vulnerable anyone allows themselves to be. You can't expect in any way that she just drop the rejection and lies and simply "get over it."You have not earned any right through time for her to forgive you. I have to ask if after this was there any counselling and what did you do to begin to show her you were trust worthy?This isn't something that you just say"I'm sorry dear and I'll never do it again." This is something that you now find out that has torn her apart for years and in many ways possibly torn down how she feels about herself as a woman with you. It's sad to me that cheating can come so easy at the time, not realizing the pain caused to the one you say you love.The only thing I can say is if you really love her, use this separation as a time to work on your own self worth,get some counselling.Don't even consider meeting another woman if this is the one you truly love. Take this separation as the time to prove to her that you only desire to be with her.Show her she is worth waiting for if you think she is. Maybe this is the only way you can prove to her that you are worth her vulnerability and love. If not, it will be time to move on. Life is short and it is rare to have someone you can truly call your soul mate and trust with all your heart.

Nothing else to say than what has been said.

Sweetie, I'm not feeling the love here.  WHY should past issues have been forgiven?  
Maybe, just maybe, when you add up the past issues, the need for space, and the desire to grow as an independent person , you can begin to understand why this relationship has run aground.
How to start letting go?  Not living together is a start.  Get some therapy started for yourself, cuz if you are as heartbroken as you seem to be, it is going to be a bumpy road. 

You need to also forgive yourself. Learn from your mistakes and move on with or w/o her. Some people can't just forgive or forget easily. It takes time to build that trust and once its broken it takes even longer or never to trust that person again. Because in the back of their mind there is always "what if, what if?" Listen to Mom's answer to take this separation to show her that you are lovable and changable person. If you're geniunely love her and want to be in her life, show her that; it could takes weeks, months, years or never- I'm afraid you'll need to try harder. If months from her, there is no reconcillation, perhaps it's time you let each other and end the misery and waste any un-necesarry time and move on. Life is too short and precious. Good luck.

You screwed up and your pissed that she didn't forgive you? Get real. When you sleep with dogs, you get fleas. She's tired of the flea bites. No sympathy here.

The point is that for all intents and purposes, "Sausalito" may as well be talking about his/her mother. Different answers might have resulted if the relationship was made clear, e.g, boyfriend/girlfriend, girlfriend/girlfriend, or  husband/wife.

This is a parent, for goodness sakes! Irreplaceable! Why no trust? Did you tell her you were doing your homework, and your teacher said you weren't?

What's the relationship between "sausalitoslick" and "she"? I can't find it anywhere. Only "sausalitoslick" knows for sure. We're all missing something here!