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    If you could have one more chance WHAT WOULD IT BE?

    +8  Views: 2832 Answers: 29 Posted: 12 years ago
    winfia

    007 this is really a good question. It took me two days to ponder over the answers with my few comments. Most of the questions around here we pretty much slam-dunk. But this one really made us (me) think.
    OO7SAYWHAT

    O.K. Winfa. Thanks for such a flattering comment. Please do us a favor. Please read the comments. you will find Some comments where we were willing to take off our mask and put it on the line. I know, thanks to Ed I will maybe lose Cyber friends. This is not my intention. My intention is to maybe every now and then have a question to penetrate your soul to the foundation. Thanks to Ed he took me to the depts of my unconfortable zone and release something that has festered in me for 39 years. You ask, Did it help the pain. My answere is that I'm not going to share this with my cyver friends. I don't want to influence what someone might regret, If you read my coment to Ed you see that if we talk people into the low point of their life we can be persuasvie. I don't compose my questions to entertain people that get off on others pain but to ask hard life question for people to answere in thir confort zone. If you notice Darci had the presence to stick it all out there. Darci's courage gave other coments of courage and Ed my friend you took me to my hardest come clean answere ever.

    With that being said Winfa and you pondering on it for two days, I personally will be by your side if you have anything that like me you are so ashamed you have repressed for a long time.

    If I may advise, please make sure your confort zone can handle it and go no futher with that level of self examaination. If you read my answeres U will notice that they started off soft in comparrason where Ed's honesty brought me to.

    I Hope I'm being dramatic with you Winfa. What ever you would like to share I know we gain frmm your experience. Even though we all have deep regrets I hope they are less damaging and less regretaable than mine. Mine requires a small mirror to look into occasionally. Maybe I can look into the big one all the time some day!!

    Please all no pity pat responses to me on this one. Responses are welcomed cause you all have to know by now each of you are special in so many different ways. That is why I bring myself to the table with you. I have my feet pretty well on the ground. My compass is true. I am not depressed. Remember all; the question is what 1 thing would change in life if U could do a do over? That was my anwere. Thanks all
    winfia

    Hi 007 - Closing down my computer for 7 days. Off to Chicago (from AZ) with daughter and BFF tomorrow. While there we will see 2 performances of the Nutcracker Ballet. This is a professional performance, not a dance school production. My 14-yr-old grandson is dancing the lead role as the young prince. He's been dancing since about 7 or 8. I have seen him dance before, but not for 3 years. I've posted elsewhere problems with my son. This is the only big issue in my life right now, but I feel no shame attached to it. I have been working on my sh*t for 40 years and I feel "clear" at present. But who knows what awaits me in the future. It's not easy to deal with ones shadow, but I have been pretty consistent with it. Those few of us who have made a social networking out of Q&A are caring people and I care for them. It pains me to hear their heartache. Believe me I know what it feels like. Bright Blessings ~ win
    OO7SAYWHAT

    Tks winfia. I will miss you for a week. Firing up Ask Question won't be quiet the same till your back. Safe travel and Mucho fun and love with your family.

    I love the nutcracker. I miss seeing it in Dallas. I'd be blown away if a family member were participating in it.

    Looking forward to hearing to hearing your holiday story when you get back.

    Peace to all on your trip.

    29 Answers

    To convince my wife to go through with a pregnancy instead of talking her into an abortion. My selfish needs for material things at the time prevented me from have another child. My Corvettes-and race cars were more important than a new life. My wife was young and head over heels in love with an idiot (ME) and I managed to talk her into it. I would give everything I own and live in a cave if only I could never have had that conversation with her. God forgive me.

    OO7SAYWHAT

    I share your shame. I hold my head in shame. I did a 4 for 1 in the process. Lost leadership with my wife that took years to rebuilt, let my wife carry emptyness and shame forever, wonder what our child could have been and it gives me something else to regret in myself on a daily basis.
    What's so remarkable I love life so I guess i still like myself.
    Big Thanks Bill! YOU ARE A STAND UP GUY. If I'm ever I'm in a fox hole I want you there with me!!!!!
    mycatsmom

    007, Who's Bill ?
    mycatsmom

    007, What's a '' 4 for 1 '' ? Is that where you get an abortion for one baby, and you find out that it was quadrulets ?
    OO7SAYWHAT

    sorry ed I meant Biil
    OO7SAYWHAT

    mycatsmom by 4 for 1 I meant I talked my wife into having at 6 week term. The 4 represents th at although our poor decision was primary
    to our son or daughter to me the raminication didn't end their. Like Ed the one things that lives on is pain, shame, and reqret. Please refer to first response to Bill, which should have been Ed for other 3. Thanks again Ed, sorry I got it wrong

    Wife in hosp again so I not quiet right. She will be alright. There is also a careless issue I have. Thanks to you too Mymomcat.
    ed shank

    007, I figured it was a error. I too am sorry for your bad judgement also.
    Bob/PKB

    It takes a real man to make a statement like this one, ed shank. My personal history is similar to yours, but unique, too, of course. We all make choices; some we live to regret. Thank you for sharing something so personal with us.
    Poppy3

    ed shank - hey you did what you did and felt at the time. Do not hang yourself for this - no one is infallible - we all do things we regret. This may have been meant to be. I am sure God will forgive you. You have to forgive yourself and make amends for this but do try not to dwell on this - we would all be in some kind of hell worrying about something we did, some people do not even recognise the wrongs they have done. It was right for you and your wife at the time. Try not continue to worry any longer about something you cannot change. God grant me the grace to accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference. I think that's correct - please. xo

    I would go much further with my education for one thing.  I'm sure that there are other changes that I would make, if I knew "back then" what I know now.  Oh yeah!

    itsmee

    meeee tooo ... maybe.

    I wish i could tell my late parents just how much i loved them

    OO7SAYWHAT

    I'M SURE YOU DEMONASTRATED LOVE TO THEM. For U to say this I know how proud they were of you.
    mycatsmom

    i wish I would have helped them more.
    mycatsmom

    I wish THEY would have told me that they loved me.
    OO7SAYWHAT

    mycatsmom It's hard for some good people to express love. Hopefully this would be 1 of their another chance wishes.
    My parents weren't touchy feely people. They were good people though. As a small child I remember my mom not wanting us to sit in her lap because she had makeup plastered wall to wall on her face and was afraid we would mess it up. LOL!!! My dad was a hard worker in building hours on the job. Quess what!!! I turned to be a non touching feeling guy that would log the hours.
    Tks mycat

    ""

    Ducky

    Moderator
    WOW!!!! That says it all.
    mycatsmom

    That was so awesome!
    melandrupert

    Colleen that is soo true like that xxxx
    winfia

    Most of my thumbs have popped up again on this page, every time I come back, there they are!
    Colleen

    Moderator
    I know, it's been happening to me too. I've reported the issue. The people still get credit for the TU.

    To not leave one good job that I had to go to another job that I thought would be better for me,only to have them go under three years later,so now I don't have a job at all now...Damm me!!!!!!

    Ducky

    Moderator
    CR...didn't you just start a new job a couple of weeks ago? Did I miss something?
    OO7SAYWHAT

    NO NO NO Cleveland rick!!! Key word here is job. yOU DID WHAT WAS BEST. THEY DIDN'T GET RID OF YOU THEY FOLDED. Your are a doobe. I know it's rough. I'm fortunate to not have to compete for a job but you will land on your feet because you are motivated. When a place closes even the best employees have to go. Tell us when you get a job and good luck for a fast fix!!!
    ClevelandRick

    Thanks 007saywhat,man I sure did need some words of support,I'm about to lose my mind.
    bluesman1951

    You made the right decision,don't doubt that. Life changed and its not your fault. I have the luxury of being able to support myself with out a job for 25 years . I once found some great recipes for banana bread and cookies and I went around selling them and did nearly two hundred a day. Not always but there were some good days . I make things from leather and sell them to the galleries . Some week ends I sell at the flea market . I have no idea what you do or what your needs are ,but I wish you good luck.
    ClevelandRick

    Thanks bluesman1951 for your kind words,I set-up and operator bindery machine's (folders & saddle stitchers)<(booklet makers)in the printing field,and we sure did get hit hard in the last downturn,I have'nt recovered yet.I wish I had something else to fall back on but I don't,I've done this all my working life(30+years),so I'm kind of lost right now.
    Ducky

    Moderator
    CR...your current job? How's it going?
    itsmee

    Happens to all of us in one way or the other. Be well. I enjoy your comments ... they seem so real. They are all of us in one way or the other.
    OO7SAYWHAT

    good comment itsmee about all of us.

    I would have raised my son differently..........

    OO7SAYWHAT

    And me maybe with our daughter. I put her value system over unconditional. She new if she got in trouble beyond sensibe boundrys she would not have our support. She turned out to be a hard worker good citizen but I knows she has anger issues with me esp. I do take confort in knowing she is a survivor.
    mycatsmom

    In what way would you have raised him differently ?
    ed shank

    There's no "one size fits all" you do what you think is best at the time and hope all works out for the good.

    I've had enough chances good and bad if I could have another peace and serenity.

    OO7SAYWHAT

    Hi dopey!!,
    Why can't you have peace a serinity. Isn't it contigent on what we are looking for in life? Don't we have a responsibility to serch for this in a reasonable way? When we find the process to seek and find peace and serinity can't we maintain this gift.
    Please indulge me by an example I would like to share.
    I drove a city bus in Dallas 38 years ago. My wife was going to college and was taling a quick nap to be prepared to finish my split shift. Our Daughter was 3 or 4 at the time so she was in bed with me with her toys. A short nap was very important for the responsibility of carrying people in an alert way. I was having trouble getting to sleep due to the highway noise we lived very close to. Our daughter asked daddy do U hear it. I said yes a lot of cars and trucks this morning. Her response was DADDY DO U HEAR THE BIRDS SINGING. It's amazing what a 3 or 4 Y Old can teach you when you least expect it. It somewhat changed my life. So Mr. Dopey our daughter taught in that 7 word sentence that there is more than one perspective to so many things. What I seek I will find. My life perspective from that day forward has been rewarded to make every attempt to find the light instead of the darkness. I hope you cyber partners remember thes words my daughter gifted me. DADDY DO YOU HEAR THE BIRDS SINGING?!!! My chritmas all that agree!!! Tks all
    Poppy3

    OO7SAYWHAT - Thank you - such a lovely story - I have said this before - I have worked with hundreds of children many with incurable diseases and many children have said things which I find amazing - why only yesterday I posted an example of this saying that often the things children say makes you think they have been here before. I once asked a child when were you born - he said "I haven't died yet". I have had such an amazing life I have been so lucky and a wonderful career - very high profile and miss caring for others as I did - when I say peace and serenity, I wish to move away from London to live in the country most of all,and near friends who have all gone or moved and I am not happy here there is such discord (highly complex) in this house now and my health is not so good since I retired. I am female and live alone. Thank you so much for your stories and inspiration. Children and animals are amazing so is all of nature - I wish you and your family well and take very good care of yourselves. You all sound great, so very kind of you. Wishing you all peace and joy for the coming Christmas.
    OO7SAYWHAT

    Dopey I'M SO PRIVILEDGED TO HAVE YOU AS A NEW FOUND FRIEND. We left dallas 7 years ago. I spent my formative years in a town of 20-25 K Pop. I get it now on the peace and serinity. I apologize for my words to attemupt to lift you maybe in a little way. There are a lot of people hurting so much that there is a state of confussion and just being down.

    We were fortunate to move to a sleepy south central Florida retirement community 7 years and OOOOhhh what peace. I wish this peace for you soon and I also share you concern for what is going on all over the world!!
    Best wishes for a merry Christmas and 1 of these new years pretty soon will have to give all more hope!!
    Hope to hear a lot from you asour friendship and trust grows.
    Poppy3

    007SAYWHAT - I know where you are coming from no apologies needed and thank you again - all this doom and gloom is perpetuated by the media etc. and it has been a strange year for all and I feel sure there are better times to come. From 23rd January, 2012 things will improve hopefully. Glad you see what understand what I mean you did lift me and lets hope others will be lifted - it can only get better. So lovely to talk with you.
    bluesman1951

    dopey: I truly hope that you get your wish . That you find a sweet comfortable home in the country . May all your dreams come true . All my best Bill
    Poppy3

    blll, thank you for this - hopefully this will do it for me, if and when it becomes possible miriam.

    Try not getting addicted to  "akaQA"...........There again I would want a second chance to be back on ":akaQA".  OHHHH------Maybe a second chance not to be confused!

    mycatsmom

    I got that addiction too. And it's keeping me from doing my chores, and wrapping presents :-\
    Poppy3

    Yep - me too, strange that it is so addictive and turns us into procrastinators (cantators). Just had to add this last bit for info heard it the other day funnily enough

    I would honestly like to have a chance to start at 12 and move forward, knowing what I know now about life and the importance of making wise choices.

    mycatsmom

    Yes, I would like to do Jr. High all over again, b/c it wouldn't be 3 years of hell, now that I would know how to handle the other kids, and the hard math adn science. It was a cultural shock. There were some tough girls in my Jr. High that said they were going to beat me up. I did get beat up, but by boys.

    I'll learn to dance the dance:  http://youtu.be/hFIT1ORevuo

    mycatsmom

    You still can
    winfia

    Just Do It!

    Darci - I cannot tell you how many times I have thought of commiting suicide - constantly on my mind keep finding excuses not to do so - but would be all too easy for me to do so. Cannot do this alone such a long way to go, Can't make it by myself.   I've tried and I've tried. I feel so ashamed after such a blessed life.

    bluesman1951

    Please dont do that . Bill
    Ann

    dopey, you are a wonderful person and I really enjoy your answers. I am sorry you feel this way. Do you have friends or family there that you can talk to? You can always talk to us. Maybe its depression or a medical problem? Sometimes the holidays can get people down. it always does me.Get help from a professional or a church and talk to God, he knows you inner most thoughts and feelings and you can depend on him in time of great need. Thinking of you with love and prayers, Ann
    Poppy3

    Thank you so much Ann I have always enjoyed you too you are sound so great and it shows as you have responded to me now, such an angel- You are so right God does know how I feel - I just know he does but he wouldn't mind my leaving this world - he knows.
    Ducky

    Moderator
    Dopey..please don't do that. I know that this sounds flippant but please...things do get better. Your feelings will not be permanent and you have no reason to feel ashamed. Depression happens to a lot of people. Have you discussed this with your doctor or a counsellor?
    Poppy3

    Ducky - thank you so much for thinking of me like Ann you are an angel. I am totally coneversant with the issues I am having over the last six years - I have as much knowledge as the councillors and Doctors of now help. My life has been these later years so complex and difficult and just cannot deal with it myeelf - I am so independent. I just cannot express to you and Ann how gratefuL to you both - it is hearting to know that people will so think of others - it happens so little these days and I always did beyond the call of duty so my references say - so good to hear from people like you and Ann and so dee[y appreciated - so much thanks for this. You are such good souls. Please do not think this is for sympathy - you are all ao far from me - it is just to say how I feel, I do hope you understand this as I am sure you do.
    mycatsmom

    dopey , you always sounded so normal and upbeat. We had no idea. I will pray that you'll never take your own life. And I pray that you will get counceling and maybe medication. Please change your screen name b/c dopey does not fit you and you shouldn't call yourself dopey
    winfia

    Miriam (I just can't call you dopey, sorry) - I know you even though I don't know you. We are just months apart in age and believe me, I understand your grieving. But think of this. We have made it through the first 70 years of our lives and we're still standing! let's just make the most of the next ten and then we'll take it from here. My hub recently complained because I am taking a trip so close to the holidays. The difference in our age means he is still working - I'm retired. I said, Look, I'm 70 and I'm gonna do what I can while I can do it! So stop bugging me! We've got some great years ahead of us, M. Wow! We've earned it!! We deserve it!!! Let the past be just that. Take my hand and together we'll move into the next decade of our lives with enthusiasm and _________ (you fill in the blank!)!
    Bright Blessings, my friend. Win
    Poppy3

    mycatsmom. Thank you so much for your concern - years ago I did see a psychiatrist at St. Barts hospital - having taken myself to hospital in a cab to tell them how I felt.
    I was referred to this Guy who would have been good but cancelled the appointment twice ended up seeing this lady Psychiatrist from the Balkan states - very short consultation, I just sat in the gardens of the hospital in disbelief just wanting to chop my head off she said I was fine and even in writing "not depressed and not suicidal" This was followed by nurses coming to see me from the local hospital - saw me many times - we just talked and laughed and they said how they just loved coming to see me. So there we are. I am trying to change my name but it just doesn't happen as I have said maybe my request is wrong. thankyou again and you take care.
    Poppy3

    winfia, as always many thanks to you I understand all you say, yes I will fill in the blanks it being motivation. You are just so sweet, sincerely miriam.
    winfia

    Awesome miri - I could not have come up with a better word myself! So glad to be in your life today. win
    itsmee

    miriam, my depression is way worse than usual, It’s the season, remember? REMEMBER?
    I had a psychology instructor who said “Everybody thinks about suicide.”
    Since I thought about it frequently I went around quoting my teacher.
    I got myself in such trouble with some other people.
    I’m going through a rough patch. That’s for sure. Here, take my hand.
    I am not able to get on to akaqa. I am able to answer questions but not ask them. I will try to contact Colleen or the big bosses.
    OO7SAYWHAT

    Hi Miriam,

    Just checking in. Hope your day went well.
    WitH warm thoughts FRIEND, Joede
    Poppy3

    OO7SAYWHAT - Thank you again - so kind of you - I guess things will work out - I just have to do more trying - so appreciated. You sound so caring - so rare these days.
    Poppy3

    itsmee - I have just seen your comment. Do not fear itsmee - it will all get better - I cannot describe to you how I worry about so many things, as it has been one thing after the other - we have to make room for something better to enter our lifes. I worry so though about my Ma she is 91 years and seems to be getting a little odd these days. Hopefully when we get through Christmas - things will become unstuck some of the emotional gaps will be filled and we must have faith in the world that things will work out better. Many thanks - and wishing you wellxo.
    OO7SAYWHAT

    Hi Miriam,

    Want to share something with all who read earlier this week. Hope it brings a little strength To my friends out there!!

    There are 3 types of worry.

    Worry about what happened in the past

    Worry about the present

    Worry about the future.

    The point it was making is to keep your worry process manageable. It opened my eyes that I have lost a lot of energy on worry to bring me to where I am now.

    I think we need to recognize problems in our life. I Think we need to develop the best solution given the situation. I am getting better at relizing we can only do what we can do. I know I can't be eaten unless I chew on myself. It does't void worry for me but it helps me manage it in a more secure perspective. It gives me more peace and clairty on the problem at hand.

    I hope this helps
    Poppy3

    OO7SAY WHAT - Thank you so - Oh dear so sorry - thank you so for your words and advise. Take very good care of yourself.

    I am to tired to do it again .Please dont make me .

    Poppy3

    bluesman - thank you so much that is true empathy - It has become so hard for me - I will not explain more - it is what it is. Thank you so much for your response - it is certainly not a subject to be discussing with all the religious people on the site such a sinful thought. Oh my this will be something I belief they have no concept of and will most certainely avoid. thanks again so much but I feel so bad just cam't do this alone and I mean LIVE.just can't make it alone.
    itsmee

    Love that answer, bluesman. Can I join your club?

    "" I'd be a world class chess-player...

    Colleen

    Moderator
    and male presumably? lol
    itsmee

    Cool guy, ep!

    To become more compassionate and loving to my wife  and all of my fellow man.  Also, become closer to my lord and Jesus Christ.

    Colleen

    Moderator
    You do not need another chance for this. Just do it.
    OO7SAYWHAT

    great self examination Dav!! great advice by colleen! So when do you start??? I'm not easy am I? But Dav I challange U. I'm going to take your aspirations and be more diligent to improve myself. Nothing better than nurturing what U love esp ehen it is sooooooo good and the self rewards are so appearent!!
    A TOTAL WIN WIN. THANKS DAVE LETS DO IT!!!
    mycatsmom

    It's not too late, David

    I would not want a second chance, one screw up is enough for me.

    Message for both Rick and Darci,i so hope things improve for you soon xxxThinking of you

    OK  Darci 13. that's it.  You got my attention!!!  I'm here as a friend.  YOU HAVE my ATTENTION and deep concern as a friend.  Let us try to help.  I know it's only advice and since advice is free  most  of is not worth much.  You strike me as having tiger blood but feel you have been pushed into a corner.


    What has happened to the TIGER that seems to be this much down.. Tigers navigate the jungle.  I DO KNOW THIS,  WE ALL HAVE HAD OR WILL HAVE OUR  WORST DAY, BUT ALL OTHER DAYS LEFT WILL BE BETTER.  THE PAIN WILL BE LESS WHEN YOU SEE IT THROUGH!!! 


    YOU STRIKE ME AS A LOGICAL PERSON SO LET'S ATTEMPT TO RECONSTRUCT  A FOUNDATION FROM A LOGICAL PERSPECTIVE.


    YOU RECOGNIZE AT THE MOMENT YOUR LIFE IS IN INTENSE TERMOIL. YOU ASK HOW DID IT GET THIS WAY.  YOU FEEL THAT A HAVING GOOD SOLUTION HAS BEEN LOST.  YOU ARE ASKING WHAT THE PURPOSE OF LIFE IS?


    OK FRIEND!!!  IT'S GOOD YOU HAVE THE CHARACTER AND JUDGEMENT TO KNOW YOU ARE IN DEEP 6.  MAYBE THE BEST SOLUTIONS AREN''T AVAILABLE.  EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO BEGIN YOUR DELIMA WITH BAD SOLUTIONS YOU PICK THE BEST CHOICES FROM WHAT YOU HAVE.  AFTER YOU TAKE THE HIT I PROMISE YOU, AND I DO PROMISE,, THAT BETTER AND BETTER SOLUTIONS WILL BE AT YOUR DISPOSAL.  CAN YOU SEE THAT I'VE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE AND I'VE DONE WHAT I'M SAYING.  A LOT OF YOUR  CYBER BUDDIES AND FRIENDS HAVE!!!!  


    NOWY LET'S ADDRESS YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE!!!  TAKE IT ONE STEP AT A TIME.  IT STARTS WITH SELF MAINTANCE.  YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN!!!  WHEN YOU FLY WHAT DOES THE AIR ATTENDENT TELL YOU TO DO WHEN THE OXYGEN MASK FALLS.  YOU PUT IT ON YOU BEFORE YOU FIX THE ONES AROUND YOU.  REGAIN YOUR STRENGTH TIGER SO YOU CAN HELP THE ONES YOU LOVE.  IF YOU HAVE LOST YOUR LOVE REGAIN THE LOVE FOR YOURSELE EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY FEEL IT WAS YOUR FAULT.  IF YOU HAVE LOST OR ABOUT TO LOSE YOUR RICHES IT'S ONLY MATERIAL.  YOU MAY BE SUPRISED TO FIND THAT IT CAN BRING YOU CLOSER TO YOUR LOVED ONES .


    LASTLY GET HELP.  TRUST HELP.  YOUR MOST BASIC CHOICE IS WORK AT GETTING BETTER OR WORK AT GETTING WORSE.  IT'S A STATE OF MIND YOU HAVE CONTROL OF.  IF YOUR STATE OF MIND HAS GOTTEN LIKE THERE IS NO HOPE GET HELP WITH MEDICATION.  YOU MAY HAVE THROWN YOUR BRAIN INTO A CHEMICAL INBALANCE THAT CAN BE FIXED.  IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME,  WHEN THINGS AREN'T WHAT THEY SHOULD BE THIS IS THE MOST STRESSFULL TIME FOR MOST PEOPLE. 


    I SO MUCH HOPE THIS HELPS.  VALIDATE YOURSELF,  AS WE CAN SEE HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE FRIEND!!!!!!   .   

    Poppy3

    OO7SAYWHA' You are so right when you say Christmas time can be so stressful for most people - this does not worry me, but what does is the stress it can bring to families especially children - I do hope people survive Christmas without too many problems. To survive Christmas is an achievement in itself nowadays.
    winfia

    Your comments to Darci are well said. But please don't yell. It hurts the ears and we (and she) can hear you just fine, in fact - even better - when you don't yell. Just sayin'
    itsmee

    “to survive Christmas is an achievement in itself nowadays,” Your wrote that and it helped me.

    definately would have went to college, mama was right..

    Not to crash

    itsmee

    Crashing happens.
    OO7SAYWHAT

    Are you feeling better tobay Dunc? We Care FRIEND!!!!

    Please accept my apologies, please excuse me. Sacks of thanks and  love for all of your help and concern. 

    winfia

    What are you apologizing for? Not needed here. :-)
    Poppy3

    winfia - I know, cannot make any excuses for what I did just not fair.lol.

    Ducka and Ann - I cannot begin to express how i feel, the way you both responded to me is just inexplicable - you see although I hate to go down this route - these Christians - where are they when you need help so consumed with the the two way companionship "God and me" and what is beyond?


    You both know - so compassionate , for which I cannot thank you more for and yes it is through my tears the repsonse so touches me - it is the way I would respond  to anyone who needs help. I wish you so many heavenly things in your both lives - you are so deserving of this, if not in this life maybe in another if there is another. You are such angels and I cannot even go down the route of how I feel about you - just amazing and much much appreciated - words become so futile - my kind thoughts are so with you bothoxox This is not a sort of mutual admiation society - it is true admiration for the both of you. Not  any ot that s***t. most sincere.  

    OO7SAYWHAT

    Hi Dopey, Littlt blue tonight I see. Will you please do me a favor because I know from my brief knowing of you that you are way too special to be in this much pain.

    You know sometimes we can't have what was so dear to us that we have lost in life. You also know we have the ability and a responsibility to seek replacemens for what we have lost. Whatever it takes is good as long as it's not self destructive. It may have to come in altogether different activities and interest. It may take more that one thing to get you going again.

    I lean agnostic but please try this free Christian counseling web site; newlife.com. Hopefully this will give you another weapon to combat your present state of mind. It's kind of like all lawyers know not to defend themself in court. Sometimes we maybe can gain beneficial perspectives from outside professionals.

    I do wish you all good, I do wish you the best. I do hope this site may help get you going a little better.
    Poppy3

    May I clarify the last sentence the one that says s**t. I mean that very British thing "lovely to meet you, love to see you again" and you just know that the thinking is "I hope not it's been so boring"
    Poppy3

    OO7SAYWHAT - many thanks for your comment - I somehow missed, how I missed it I do not know and having read it appreciate what you say and find it to be inspiring - I too lean towards agnostic, have worked with many people of different faiths and have always respected those who have faith especially those who demonstrate this accordingly as sometimes there is a contradiction which goes beyond human error.
    OO7SAYWHAT

    Miriam, I think we see the religious issue a 100% alike. It distresses me that some people who want to take the coice and freedom away from religious people.

    Have peace till we meet again
    Poppy3

    007SAYWHAT - Thank you again and peace be with you also.

    I have made a lot of "mistakes." Many things did not turn out the way I wanted them to. Now I am beginning to feel my age, so I am more fully aware of my mortality. But I wouldn't do anything over. Who and what I am today are the result of everything I have seen, done, and heard: all my experience makes me Me. And life is far from over for this Me. I am still the eternal student, learning and growing every day. No, I would not change a thing.

    OO7SAYWHAT

    I get it. I see your point Winfla. I look back for a reference to move forward. I would have changes but I also respect your wisdom since most things can't be changed. I do think one can do damage control on reqretable moments when it comes to relationships by a sincere apology and to avoid duplicating what damage was done. Of couse that's obvious.

    I try to relish the present as much as possible and look forward to the future.
    Thanks for sharing Winfla.
    Ducky

    Moderator
    We ALL make mistakes...it's part of living.
    winfia

    Thanks for your responses, Ducky and 007. I appreciate you both.

    I don't really look back for a reference to move forward, 007. I had to think about that. I move from this moment forward, but my impetus is driven by past experience. BUT I am forever the one to attempt to repair past damage ... just his morning I emailed my son, asking if we could put "this" all behind us. (If not, I am willing and ready to move forward. I will not grieve over spilt milk if it cannot be mopped up.)
    Poppy3

    win - so good to hear this - well done you, do no more fretting and who knows?miri.
    winfia

    I appreciate you miri
    Poppy3

    Guess what win - got the hair cut yesterday - actually left the flat - looks better remember we spoke of this. And just trying to change my name but does't seem to happen apparently there is already a daisy and I have chosen another - I will have to check the e-mails. I too appreciate you so much too!!xx
    OO7SAYWHAT

    Winfa,

    Great response as t how U move on and see the future. I also admire how you offered an olive branch to your son. Hopefully it will bring the two of you closer together. At the least he can see your concern for his feelings and that you valiadaated your love for him. Tks

     Your welcome Bill.  With age comes wisdom!  Hated that when i was young..but it is true. Your perspective is refreshing!

    wow. i missed a few days...just read a lot from everyone on this one question.  First, i must say, i too am in a deep 6 right now.  lucky and i mean lucky for me it isn't the first time. i now know that eventually and probably slowly the tide will turn.  I ache for those deep into their first deep 6.  It is so very lonely (especially during what is supposed to be the "hap happiest time of the year".  I can remember thoughts of suicide..and perhaps homicide.  I AM SO GLAD I WAITED...because it did get better, for a while Much much better, and then like all things in life it faded again..but i had learned to hold on that first time, so the second time didn't feel so scary.  This time its a P.I.A. and sure i'd much rather be healthy, working, etc...but i am learning so much more today than i did "happy".  Hoping that means I wont have too have anymore deep 6 experiences.  But I have a sense of calm. peace. serenity.  I guess despite all the yucky tough stuff i have learned what a wize little girl taught her dad. today i can hear the bird's sing.  What would I change? not the right question. What do i want to try to change now and in the future? that is the right question...because the past is gone.


     

    OO7SAYWHAT

    Great answer & question. Hope you recover ASAP with a optomistic outlook.

    My asnwer to your question for now is to take the lessons I learned in the past with it's victories and shortcomings and continue the fork in the road I've chosen to be more aware of doing the right thing. I hope to have drawn strength and good will learned from making some incredible bad decisions. When U get My age, almost 66, desires and drives for material things is much less important. It makes it much easier to make more practical decissions. Retirement gives me freedom to do a little community work at my own pace.

    U ask what does the futture hold? I can't be sure!! I choose to approach it by continuing to maintain the self examination I've been working to improve for the last 10 years, Hope to continue to clean up some messes I spent 35 yrars creating. Although I am far from being financially wealthy it can't limit what I leave in my I really cared for you account. I earned from my encounters with you that whenyou look back on our relationship I left in your mind and heart that he was a good guy in spite of some shortcoming. Knowing him improved my life. All is good.
    I know only I can influence those individuals.
    When I break it down it gives me power while at peace with myself. It's all good. I just I meet the standard I am striving for.
    Thanks Doolittle!!
    Poppy3

    Great answer doolittle - as you say the past has gone and we all have to make the best of the future and as you say I believe the tide will change - take very good care of yourself and thankyou.

    i would be 15 with the mind and insight that i have now.

    Not be born.

    Ducky

    Moderator
    Darci13..are you suffering from depression? Have you seen a doctor? Just asking. :(
    Darci13

    Have a lot going on stressfull in life right now sorry.
    Ducky

    Moderator
    Don't be sorry. I just picked up on it, having been there in the past. If possible, try to keep moving...sometimes it helps. :(
    Darci13

    I keep moving, working, going going going no relief in sight but thanks.
    Ducky

    Moderator
    I wish that I could advise better but the only other thing that I might suggest is that you talk with someone (qualified) who may be able to really help you get things "off your chest".
    Darci13

    I know Ducka I know just got a lot of things going on and doing it alone I know I am not the only one in that same boat, but it sure gets tiring where are my damn oars anyway???????
    Ducky

    Moderator
    I hear you Darci13. Things do get better eventually but it's very tough sometimes to wait for that to happen when there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel...one day at a time, my friend.
    Ann

    Darcy, you answer makes me very sad. You are such a wonderful person and I know many unfortunate things happenend in your live. Everyone in this life is important, including you.The Holidays can be very stressful. You have been working 35 years at the same job and that in itself is an accomplishment.You can talk to us anytime about what is going on if of course you want to. With love and concern, Ann.
    winfia

    Hi Darci - We have the desire to help you ... we have our suggestions of what you should/could/would do if if if. But what is it that you need to feel better? This is a good question and only you can answer this. May I tell you a little story? My daughter and I were on a driving trip earlier this year. I started to feel not well. We had been in the car for several hours and had gotten lost a couple of times and it was growing dark. I said. "I'm not feeling so good." Now if I had been with my hub or my brother they would have offered suggestions to "fix" me such as Why don't you close your eyes and try to sleep for a while. But my daughter said, "What is it you need to feel better?" I was stunned by her question because I realized that I didn't even know. I had to ask myself the question. I thought and said, "I'd like to find a modest restaurant where we can sit outside and share something small to eat." "Then that's exactly what we'll do." And we did. And I was all better. So, my dear Darci - I ask you, What is it that will make you feel better? I know you will be quick to say peace and serenity. Try again. Be a little more specific. Maybe today, it's a walk in the park. The tricky part is following through! Love and Light, Win
    Darci13

    winfla wonderful idea from your daughter just got home from work been there since before 6:00 AM too tired to give you a good answer at the moment but I will think on it deal?
    Darci13

    Ann thank you so much you are always the kindest person and I know you probably are still having a hard time too. Thanks. It is nice to know that some on here like me that lifts my spirits.
    itsmee

    Me too. Tonight anyway. I think it’s the Christmas season. Hate it. Don’t have enough $$ to do what I’d like to do.

    Thank you so much for your lovely answer 007 xx

    OO7SAYWHAT

    Thanks back to you friend!!!

    Buy place!  007Saywhat, good question!


    I’d take better care of my money!


    I wouldn’t move so much.

    itsmee

    Sheeeooot ... I meant to type “Busy Place.” The last thing I want to do is “Buy Place.”
    Is that a Freudian slip? Or maybe a Freudian slip has something to do with slip.
    OO7SAYWHAT

    I think just about all of us been their on the money isue. There have been more than once when I won't something beyond my confort zone, looked around the house, garage, and the ol attic and said to myself if I didn't have this junk I could hove had that. In time it would probably be in the junk catagory. Our working Time I refer as to back in the day. Now retired what we spurged on back then would really go a long way now!! If only wisdom ane life experience was more paramont back in the day. On reflection, sometimes material gain when not thoguht through, might also come aat an emotional price share with the rest of the family casue it can cause unoleasent tollerence what one buys that family has to be involved in.
    Tks again Itsmee
    OO7SAYWHAT

    Itsmee, Big hi from me to you. Read where your funds are not what U want for you to buy gifts for your loved ones. THERE IS ONE THING ABOUT YOY FRIEND AND I DO MEAN MY FRIEND. That is that all those people who you want to show your genersoity with, love and admire you for who you are. I am sure that there is no gift you could give them would be more valued bt then than your contentment and contined love for them. You are the gift that they want. I BELIEVE THIS WITH ALL MY BEING.

    Be happy with who you are, start improving yourself or keep improving yourself if you already started.


    One thing you did differently in your past might have changed your life dramatically not neccessarily in the way that made you happier. There is now way to compare anyway.



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