With that being said Winfa and you pondering on it for two days, I personally will be by your side if you have anything that like me you are so ashamed you have repressed for a long time.
If I may advise, please make sure your confort zone can handle it and go no futher with that level of self examaination. If you read my answeres U will notice that they started off soft in comparrason where Ed's honesty brought me to.
I Hope I'm being dramatic with you Winfa. What ever you would like to share I know we gain frmm your experience. Even though we all have deep regrets I hope they are less damaging and less regretaable than mine. Mine requires a small mirror to look into occasionally. Maybe I can look into the big one all the time some day!!
Please all no pity pat responses to me on this one. Responses are welcomed cause you all have to know by now each of you are special in so many different ways. That is why I bring myself to the table with you. I have my feet pretty well on the ground. My compass is true. I am not depressed. Remember all; the question is what 1 thing would change in life if U could do a do over? That was my anwere. Thanks all
I love the nutcracker. I miss seeing it in Dallas. I'd be blown away if a family member were participating in it.
Looking forward to hearing to hearing your holiday story when you get back.
Peace to all on your trip.
29 Answers
To convince my wife to go through with a pregnancy instead of talking her into an abortion. My selfish needs for material things at the time prevented me from have another child. My Corvettes-and race cars were more important than a new life. My wife was young and head over heels in love with an idiot (ME) and I managed to talk her into it. I would give everything I own and live in a cave if only I could never have had that conversation with her. God forgive me.
12 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
What's so remarkable I love life so I guess i still like myself.
Big Thanks Bill! YOU ARE A STAND UP GUY. If I'm ever I'm in a fox hole I want you there with me!!!!!
to our son or daughter to me the raminication didn't end their. Like Ed the one things that lives on is pain, shame, and reqret. Please refer to first response to Bill, which should have been Ed for other 3. Thanks again Ed, sorry I got it wrong
Wife in hosp again so I not quiet right. She will be alright. There is also a careless issue I have. Thanks to you too Mymomcat.
I wish i could tell my late parents just how much i loved them
12 years ago. Rating: 14 | |
My parents weren't touchy feely people. They were good people though. As a small child I remember my mom not wanting us to sit in her lap because she had makeup plastered wall to wall on her face and was afraid we would mess it up. LOL!!! My dad was a hard worker in building hours on the job. Quess what!!! I turned to be a non touching feeling guy that would log the hours.
Tks mycat
12 years ago. Rating: 13 | |
To not leave one good job that I had to go to another job that I thought would be better for me,only to have them go under three years later,so now I don't have a job at all now...Damm me!!!!!!
12 years ago. Rating: 13 | |
I would have raised my son differently..........
12 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
I've had enough chances good and bad if I could have another peace and serenity.
12 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
Why can't you have peace a serinity. Isn't it contigent on what we are looking for in life? Don't we have a responsibility to serch for this in a reasonable way? When we find the process to seek and find peace and serinity can't we maintain this gift.
Please indulge me by an example I would like to share.
I drove a city bus in Dallas 38 years ago. My wife was going to college and was taling a quick nap to be prepared to finish my split shift. Our Daughter was 3 or 4 at the time so she was in bed with me with her toys. A short nap was very important for the responsibility of carrying people in an alert way. I was having trouble getting to sleep due to the highway noise we lived very close to. Our daughter asked daddy do U hear it. I said yes a lot of cars and trucks this morning. Her response was DADDY DO U HEAR THE BIRDS SINGING. It's amazing what a 3 or 4 Y Old can teach you when you least expect it. It somewhat changed my life. So Mr. Dopey our daughter taught in that 7 word sentence that there is more than one perspective to so many things. What I seek I will find. My life perspective from that day forward has been rewarded to make every attempt to find the light instead of the darkness. I hope you cyber partners remember thes words my daughter gifted me. DADDY DO YOU HEAR THE BIRDS SINGING?!!! My chritmas all that agree!!! Tks all
We were fortunate to move to a sleepy south central Florida retirement community 7 years and OOOOhhh what peace. I wish this peace for you soon and I also share you concern for what is going on all over the world!!
Best wishes for a merry Christmas and 1 of these new years pretty soon will have to give all more hope!!
Hope to hear a lot from you asour friendship and trust grows.
Try not getting addicted to "akaQA"...........There again I would want a second chance to be back on ":akaQA". OHHHH------Maybe a second chance not to be confused!
12 years ago. Rating: 12 | |
I would honestly like to have a chance to start at 12 and move forward, knowing what I know now about life and the importance of making wise choices.
12 years ago. Rating: 11 | |
I'll learn to dance the dance: http://youtu.be/hFIT1ORevuo
12 years ago. Rating: 11 | |
Darci - I cannot tell you how many times I have thought of commiting suicide - constantly on my mind keep finding excuses not to do so - but would be all too easy for me to do so. Cannot do this alone such a long way to go, Can't make it by myself. I've tried and I've tried. I feel so ashamed after such a blessed life.
12 years ago. Rating: 11 | |
Bright Blessings, my friend. Win
I was referred to this Guy who would have been good but cancelled the appointment twice ended up seeing this lady Psychiatrist from the Balkan states - very short consultation, I just sat in the gardens of the hospital in disbelief just wanting to chop my head off she said I was fine and even in writing "not depressed and not suicidal" This was followed by nurses coming to see me from the local hospital - saw me many times - we just talked and laughed and they said how they just loved coming to see me. So there we are. I am trying to change my name but it just doesn't happen as I have said maybe my request is wrong. thankyou again and you take care.
I had a psychology instructor who said “Everybody thinks about suicide.”
Since I thought about it frequently I went around quoting my teacher.
I got myself in such trouble with some other people.
I’m going through a rough patch. That’s for sure. Here, take my hand.
I am not able to get on to akaqa. I am able to answer questions but not ask them. I will try to contact Colleen or the big bosses.
Want to share something with all who read earlier this week. Hope it brings a little strength To my friends out there!!
There are 3 types of worry.
Worry about what happened in the past
Worry about the present
Worry about the future.
The point it was making is to keep your worry process manageable. It opened my eyes that I have lost a lot of energy on worry to bring me to where I am now.
I think we need to recognize problems in our life. I Think we need to develop the best solution given the situation. I am getting better at relizing we can only do what we can do. I know I can't be eaten unless I chew on myself. It does't void worry for me but it helps me manage it in a more secure perspective. It gives me more peace and clairty on the problem at hand.
I hope this helps
I am to tired to do it again .Please dont make me .
12 years ago. Rating: 11 | |
To become more compassionate and loving to my wife and all of my fellow man. Also, become closer to my lord and Jesus Christ.
12 years ago. Rating: 10 | |
A TOTAL WIN WIN. THANKS DAVE LETS DO IT!!!
OK Darci 13. that's it. You got my attention!!! I'm here as a friend. YOU HAVE my ATTENTION and deep concern as a friend. Let us try to help. I know it's only advice and since advice is free most of is not worth much. You strike me as having tiger blood but feel you have been pushed into a corner.
What has happened to the TIGER that seems to be this much down.. Tigers navigate the jungle. I DO KNOW THIS, WE ALL HAVE HAD OR WILL HAVE OUR WORST DAY, BUT ALL OTHER DAYS LEFT WILL BE BETTER. THE PAIN WILL BE LESS WHEN YOU SEE IT THROUGH!!!
YOU STRIKE ME AS A LOGICAL PERSON SO LET'S ATTEMPT TO RECONSTRUCT A FOUNDATION FROM A LOGICAL PERSPECTIVE.
YOU RECOGNIZE AT THE MOMENT YOUR LIFE IS IN INTENSE TERMOIL. YOU ASK HOW DID IT GET THIS WAY. YOU FEEL THAT A HAVING GOOD SOLUTION HAS BEEN LOST. YOU ARE ASKING WHAT THE PURPOSE OF LIFE IS?
OK FRIEND!!! IT'S GOOD YOU HAVE THE CHARACTER AND JUDGEMENT TO KNOW YOU ARE IN DEEP 6. MAYBE THE BEST SOLUTIONS AREN''T AVAILABLE. EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO BEGIN YOUR DELIMA WITH BAD SOLUTIONS YOU PICK THE BEST CHOICES FROM WHAT YOU HAVE. AFTER YOU TAKE THE HIT I PROMISE YOU, AND I DO PROMISE,, THAT BETTER AND BETTER SOLUTIONS WILL BE AT YOUR DISPOSAL. CAN YOU SEE THAT I'VE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE AND I'VE DONE WHAT I'M SAYING. A LOT OF YOUR CYBER BUDDIES AND FRIENDS HAVE!!!!
NOWY LET'S ADDRESS YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE!!! TAKE IT ONE STEP AT A TIME. IT STARTS WITH SELF MAINTANCE. YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN!!! WHEN YOU FLY WHAT DOES THE AIR ATTENDENT TELL YOU TO DO WHEN THE OXYGEN MASK FALLS. YOU PUT IT ON YOU BEFORE YOU FIX THE ONES AROUND YOU. REGAIN YOUR STRENGTH TIGER SO YOU CAN HELP THE ONES YOU LOVE. IF YOU HAVE LOST YOUR LOVE REGAIN THE LOVE FOR YOURSELE EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY FEEL IT WAS YOUR FAULT. IF YOU HAVE LOST OR ABOUT TO LOSE YOUR RICHES IT'S ONLY MATERIAL. YOU MAY BE SUPRISED TO FIND THAT IT CAN BRING YOU CLOSER TO YOUR LOVED ONES .
LASTLY GET HELP. TRUST HELP. YOUR MOST BASIC CHOICE IS WORK AT GETTING BETTER OR WORK AT GETTING WORSE. IT'S A STATE OF MIND YOU HAVE CONTROL OF. IF YOUR STATE OF MIND HAS GOTTEN LIKE THERE IS NO HOPE GET HELP WITH MEDICATION. YOU MAY HAVE THROWN YOUR BRAIN INTO A CHEMICAL INBALANCE THAT CAN BE FIXED. IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME, WHEN THINGS AREN'T WHAT THEY SHOULD BE THIS IS THE MOST STRESSFULL TIME FOR MOST PEOPLE.
I SO MUCH HOPE THIS HELPS. VALIDATE YOURSELF, AS WE CAN SEE HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE FRIEND!!!!!! .
12 years ago. Rating: 9 | |
Ducka and Ann - I cannot begin to express how i feel, the way you both responded to me is just inexplicable - you see although I hate to go down this route - these Christians - where are they when you need help so consumed with the the two way companionship "God and me" and what is beyond?
You both know - so compassionate , for which I cannot thank you more for and yes it is through my tears the repsonse so touches me - it is the way I would respond to anyone who needs help. I wish you so many heavenly things in your both lives - you are so deserving of this, if not in this life maybe in another if there is another. You are such angels and I cannot even go down the route of how I feel about you - just amazing and much much appreciated - words become so futile - my kind thoughts are so with you bothoxox This is not a sort of mutual admiation society - it is true admiration for the both of you. Not any ot that s***t. most sincere.
12 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
You know sometimes we can't have what was so dear to us that we have lost in life. You also know we have the ability and a responsibility to seek replacemens for what we have lost. Whatever it takes is good as long as it's not self destructive. It may have to come in altogether different activities and interest. It may take more that one thing to get you going again.
I lean agnostic but please try this free Christian counseling web site; newlife.com. Hopefully this will give you another weapon to combat your present state of mind. It's kind of like all lawyers know not to defend themself in court. Sometimes we maybe can gain beneficial perspectives from outside professionals.
I do wish you all good, I do wish you the best. I do hope this site may help get you going a little better.
Have peace till we meet again
I have made a lot of "mistakes." Many things did not turn out the way I wanted them to. Now I am beginning to feel my age, so I am more fully aware of my mortality. But I wouldn't do anything over. Who and what I am today are the result of everything I have seen, done, and heard: all my experience makes me Me. And life is far from over for this Me. I am still the eternal student, learning and growing every day. No, I would not change a thing.
12 years ago. Rating: 7 | |
I try to relish the present as much as possible and look forward to the future.
Thanks for sharing Winfla.
I don't really look back for a reference to move forward, 007. I had to think about that. I move from this moment forward, but my impetus is driven by past experience. BUT I am forever the one to attempt to repair past damage ... just his morning I emailed my son, asking if we could put "this" all behind us. (If not, I am willing and ready to move forward. I will not grieve over spilt milk if it cannot be mopped up.)
Great response as t how U move on and see the future. I also admire how you offered an olive branch to your son. Hopefully it will bring the two of you closer together. At the least he can see your concern for his feelings and that you valiadaated your love for him. Tks
wow. i missed a few days...just read a lot from everyone on this one question. First, i must say, i too am in a deep 6 right now. lucky and i mean lucky for me it isn't the first time. i now know that eventually and probably slowly the tide will turn. I ache for those deep into their first deep 6. It is so very lonely (especially during what is supposed to be the "hap happiest time of the year". I can remember thoughts of suicide..and perhaps homicide. I AM SO GLAD I WAITED...because it did get better, for a while Much much better, and then like all things in life it faded again..but i had learned to hold on that first time, so the second time didn't feel so scary. This time its a P.I.A. and sure i'd much rather be healthy, working, etc...but i am learning so much more today than i did "happy". Hoping that means I wont have too have anymore deep 6 experiences. But I have a sense of calm. peace. serenity. I guess despite all the yucky tough stuff i have learned what a wize little girl taught her dad. today i can hear the bird's sing. What would I change? not the right question. What do i want to try to change now and in the future? that is the right question...because the past is gone.
12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
My asnwer to your question for now is to take the lessons I learned in the past with it's victories and shortcomings and continue the fork in the road I've chosen to be more aware of doing the right thing. I hope to have drawn strength and good will learned from making some incredible bad decisions. When U get My age, almost 66, desires and drives for material things is much less important. It makes it much easier to make more practical decissions. Retirement gives me freedom to do a little community work at my own pace.
U ask what does the futture hold? I can't be sure!! I choose to approach it by continuing to maintain the self examination I've been working to improve for the last 10 years, Hope to continue to clean up some messes I spent 35 yrars creating. Although I am far from being financially wealthy it can't limit what I leave in my I really cared for you account. I earned from my encounters with you that whenyou look back on our relationship I left in your mind and heart that he was a good guy in spite of some shortcoming. Knowing him improved my life. All is good.
I know only I can influence those individuals.
When I break it down it gives me power while at peace with myself. It's all good. I just I meet the standard I am striving for.
Thanks Doolittle!!
Not be born.
12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
Buy place! 007Saywhat, good question!
I’d take better care of my money!
I wouldn’t move so much.
12 years ago. Rating: 3 | |
Is that a Freudian slip? Or maybe a Freudian slip has something to do with slip.
Tks again Itsmee