14 Answers

Dear winfia, your situation with your son and his family is heartbreaking.  Two and one-half years is too long for an upset or misunderstanding to come between family members.  I can't imagine anything horrible enough to warrant a life-time ban from the daughter-in-law, and preventing the grandchildren/parent from having a relationship.  I do hope your son wakes up PDQ and that his wife FALLS off her high horse.
(My eldest will be 25 on 12/9....we haven't been speaking for 5 months, since he got arrested and his/girlfriend's drug use came to light. Not sure when this will pass....)   I can empathize with your situation.   :( 

Terrible situation for you Winfia,sounds like you have done your best in trying to make amends,as sad as it is you may have to accept that he is not a part of the family anymore(his choice).It seems obvious he has chosen his wife first and foremost, and is denying his  children the love of a grand parent.Could also be his wife doing some brain washing too.

Shame on him Winfia life's too short to not appreacate your own mother, Maybe you should drive (assuming it's nearby)over and give him a big hug tell him enough already, their your grand kids as well.. if all else fails you got a loving family here on "aka"...daren

Winfea, that is so sad.  You might try to keep in touch with your grandchildren by E-mail or Phone. and depends on where your son lives, go there in person and have a talk with him and his wife. It sounds like there was some misunderstanding between you and your son, or you and your daughter-in-law. This must really hurt. It never happenend to me. If it did I would never give up trying. Life is too short. I hope and pray that this will be a thing of the past  for you soon.

winfia they do not desearve you ....life is too short I dont know what to say except dont become bitter and just remember you have done nothing wrong so do not reproach your selve ever my thoughts are with you on this crisis xxx

That must have been some " upset " winf, are you stubborn? Is he stubborn? You really need to get together , no matter the time or cost, lifes too short, he and his wife must know this as I know you do. TALK ! TALK ! TALK ! Bury head in sand? it won,t end.

Time heals all wounds, somebody just forgot to check the clock.  I'm sure this will blow over.   He knows how sorry you are.  He's the one to offer the olive branch.  Take it with no misgivings.  Be nice to the undeserving daughter-in-law..............

So many people have relatives who do not speak to them.  It is really "driven home" at this time of year, isn't it?  Sad situations.

Ducky

winfia...I could easily have written YOUR (above) words. Maybe one day I will elaborate. For now, just know that you are not alone. :(

Winfia it takes two to tango and so I say both you and your son must have been at fault to allow this segrgation to occur in the forst place.

Hold out the olive branch and hope he accepts it, someone has to make a determined first move.

I am sorry for you and for your son but without inside knowledge of the details i Can not say more than I have except if you were in the wrong admit it and if your son was in the wrong accept it.

Sincere love as a friend to you.

Absolutely, absolutely. As I told King Romos, I should've let nature take it's course. I have tried over and over to make the first move and have been rejected. In two weeks I am flying back there to attend my grandson's performance in the Nutcracker. We'll see what happens. Thank you so much for your support and caring. They don't call you peoplelover for nothing. (I meant this to be a comment ... dang, I keep hitting the wrong button!)

Winfia, I'm sorry about your situation. My daughter-in-law hates me. My son is at a great distance but he and my grandaughter come to visit once a year. My daughter in law never comes. My grandaughter sent me a photo of my DIL. She has gotten really fat in her absence from me...about ten years. 

I wish I could say more about what happened to stop our friendship but I just can't -- not here. She really injured my life. (That's the best I can say) No, the best I can say is she's a female dog. 

Can you believe it has been so long?!?   I have always thanked my Mom-in-law on my husbands birthday.  She did the work to make sure he came among us healthy and joyfully!  Congratulations on being a Mother!

winfia sorry to hear this - to have a son of 47 years and then to fall out is so heart breaking. I can see so many people here sympathize with you, although I have not read their comments. It is extremely sad for you - this seems to happen so often within families - mine too - just be strong you did your best all these years and that is all you can do and do not reproach yourself people fall away as we get older haven't you noticed that even families.. He may at some point realize how much you have meant to him and things may come right I do hope so. who is this wife to ban you - oh my, she has  betrayed you so. I wish for you what you wish yourself..xx  

Winfia unconditional love is truly the answer.  i have been working with kids and parents for years.  i always tell kids forgive your parents and forgive yourself.  it's hard.  but once you do that you have left the door open.  my sister's son did not speak to her for over a year.  i told him 'that's the only mom you have, and what is something happened to her.'  He hung up on me.   well that's the sister that died.  he took off work for 6 weeks, (bus driver) and sit with his mother every day until she died. they patched things up, and talked talked about their whole lives.  plus she left him a hugh inheritence.  but as Myyo Angelo said, 'everything that happens to us is a blessing'.  And we should be apprecitive.  Even tho sometimes i  wonder.  Winfia God bless you and hang in there with your son. He is living out what he needs to and so are you.