25 Answers

I'd check into her school, & see what kind of people she is hanging out with. A lot of kids who are in middle school, start joining certain cliques and they all pretty much rub off on each other. Convincing one another, hey it's cool,it makes you feel good etc. But, if it was me, i'd watch where i let her go, and keep her on a tight leash until you saw change, I truly believe it's just a phase. She needs new friends.

Yvonne57

This is exactly right lancesgirl_201. TU

This may sound rather morbid , but why not show her some street bums that are their as a result of drinking............ (disclaimer: not all street people are their as a result of drinking)

Not even an issue as its against the law period . You go to jail if you allow it ! LOL No Damn head strong 13 year old is going to get me put in jail end of story. Get as far from this mess as you can today . Years of heart ache are coming and you can avoid this journey if you wish by just leaving this child out of your life . Tough love but necessary .

Yvonne57

Bluesman, are you out of your mind? Leave her alone. It's her GRANDDAUGHTER for crying out loud, not some dog they picked up off the street.

Grandmother - you only need to say this once and stick to it "NO" it's not only illegal it turns into other things.

Not a good idea at 13.  She will probably be an alcoholic later on in life.

Yvonne57

Hi tabber, you could be right. Maybe grandmother is thinking well, if I let her have some now, where I can keep an eye on her it won't be so bad. Not a good idea.

Tell her parents so they can ground her til she's 21 years old. Then she will be of legal age to drink. 

Colleen

She will be an adult then and responsible for herself. If she lands in a gutter, she can crawl back out of it or stay in it. That's her choice. A responsible adult does not use the excuse of letting kids drink early so they can be use to it for when they are 21 and of legal age to drink.

Colleen

Seriously, this is not worth the argument. I am American. Here the legal age is 21. Look after your child. Say no and be the type of parent your child listens too. I never gave my boys alcohol. To the best of my knowledge they did not get it from anyone else. They knew from my rules no drinking, no sex. Neither one became a drunk at 21 years of age. My oldest became a father at 25 years of age. I grew up in a family of 8 kids, we were not served alcohol, we knew, NO SEX. Not one of us became a drunk at 21. None of the kids had babies before they were married. Kids can follow home rules easy enough when proper parenting is in place. Know what your kids are doing. Set ground rules and reasonable age appropriate curfews. You can keep track of them that way. Kids mature when raised correctly. They should have enough sense not to be a drunk in the gutter just because they turned 21. If that were the case, a 13 year old can lay drunk in a gutter too if some adult was fool enough to give them alcohol.

Colleen

Let me add to what I said...A friend of mine gave her son and daughter small glasses of wine with holiday meals. By the time her son was 15 he decided that drinking was OK because mom allowed the wine. He was in alcohol rehab at the age of 16. She gave him condoms when he was 13 years old because he became interested in girls and wanted to date. She told him no sex but admitted to him that she could not know what he was doing all the time. He became a father at 17 years of age. His sister became a mother at 16 years of age because mom had given her birth control pills and she took that as a green light to have sex. She forgot to take the pills only one time or so she claimed. Being friends with your kids and "understanding" their curiosities and needs during their teen years is not always the best solution. Teens are not mature enough to handle the responsibilities that should only come in adulthood.

Be thankful she has come to you and been up front with what she's thinking.  No doubt she has friends or classmates who are already drinking and wants to fit in with everyone.  
In addition to what lancesgirl, carmaxable,  and daren 1 recommended, I'd take her to some AA or Al-Anon meetings so she can get another perspective on alcohol abuse.    

Yvonne57

carmaxable mentioned AA also. Good idea Bob/PKB. TU

I would have a look at the school and then check out her friends and take her to al-non there are plenty of young people who have parents and family and let them do the talking I would definatly ground her this stupid at her age and its illegal I pleased she told you about it that is a start but check on what everyone else has said could answers out there wish you the best of luck

I'd ground her and I would not give her any money. Who is giving her money to spend? Her parents of course. Parents supply all her needs. Other than bus or train money why does she need it. If she needs lunch money, make her take lunch from home, it's healthier.

Yvonne57

Hey ed shank, I know they always find a way (stealing) I did too but for cigs., not alcohol, but at least it makes it harder on them. TU Eggplant

Yvonne57

eggplant - maybe her parents need to be grounded! LOL

you will have to tell her absolutely not! and dig in your heels and mean it. maybe  a little alanon or aa will help. good luck to you!

Yvonne57

AA or Alanon is a good idea too. TU carmaxable.

Colleen

g'ma can give proper guidance too. First step, learn the word no.

can you not persuade her shes much too young?I know thats difficult.Whats her peer group like?Whos she mixing with?

Yvonne57

That's what lancesgirl_201 is saying. TU

This is the time most parents dread,and i sympathise with you.Your Grand daughter is far to young to be consuming alcohol.What a great idea Bob/PKB has suggested by taking her to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.This will be a real eye opener for her,there she will hear horror stories from people who have hit rock bottom and how alcohol has destroyed thier lives.By doing this it might just save her from reckless teenage drinking.

Yvonne57

I worry about them drinking and driving. So many teenagers are killed that way. TU pythonlover.

I agree with everyone else hear, you must do what you can to stop her drinking. hear in the Uk its legel to drink in private, but we have a major problem with SOME young people drinking and being drunk on the streets.What ever you do don't encourage it.

Take her to AA and let her meet some of the fine people there that wish they never started.

where are her parents ? I think the answer is just tell her its illegal and if she can't be trusted expect to have you for company everywhere she goes.I think Id be keeping a tight reign on her, explaining all the trauma and damage drinking can cause often falls on deaf ears with the young, but hopefully she might listen, a drunk 13 year old is not a good look.

There are no easy answers, as our discussions and controversies show, pinkyanne. But you have our support and I hope we have helped in some small way.

Sound like she may have already used booze once or twice, and that is why she is asking if she can drink. I bet one of her friends parents lets their child drink and she thinks you should let her. Ask around and see who her friends parents are. Alot of times when kids get busted for drinking it is because the parents gave them alcohol, just recently a young man was killed in a car wreck and he had been drinking at a friends house where the parents provided the booze.

Let her have a taste in your company don't make a big deal and the novelty will wear off hopefully

Yvonne57

Hopefully is the key word here. For some reason flange, that worked when I lived in Italy. It was a common thing for children to have a small taste of wine at dinner and no big deal was made of it. I wonder why it works there but not here? I don't think there are as many alcoholics there either.

Of course the answer is no save it is illegal. Her parents or guardians should be apprised of the situation. Good luck my dear.

pinkyann, you are talking about her STARTING to drink.  This little girl needs love ok but you have to be tough with her (only if u have legal custody). First of all selling alcohol to under age clients is illegal, so who is going to sell. Secondly it may  be possible that she hangs out with those who can obtain it for her. Thirdly, where is she getting the money from - that pipeline should be stopped. If she defies all the warnings, she can end up being institutionalized.  Get some help from her school principal if it becomes necessary. 

I hope and pray this little girl comes to her senses and stays away from alcohol

Have an Alcohol Counselor talk to her and show her the Possible Dangers of Drinking

Take a page out of leosmami's book... I have been surrounded by alcoholism and it's not a joke.  Drinking is funny when you are 13 but not at fourty when the world falls apart around you because the people you love are very sick.

I can never get back what I lost .  I lost my best friend and my sister to this horrible disease.

Wish i could speak to her,not to criticise or preach to her but my late husband died a drinking alcoholic,it helped give me a wake up call as did going through withdrawal,ive been sober 11 years now.Life really is better if you dont pick the glass up in the first place.I realise just how lucky i am not to have suffered any permanant damage through alcohol,but not everyone is

I would contact Alcoholics Annonymous and see what meetings you and her could attend, then let her listen to some of the stories of people who started out life drinking at that age. They are the voice of experience in regards to that subject, and have lots of wisdom to share in that personal experience themselves! The grief that starts from starting to drink at that age is so insurmountable...that it is beyond description for most people. Truthfully speaking, I'm an alcoholic who started drinking at that age...and it's not a good thing to try and overcome once you're hooked into it. Addictions are easy to fall into...but Hell to try and pull the wreck of what's left of your life from. This is the voice of that experience...and she needs to know where that road will take her, before she even begins to consider choosing that path. God bless!

Just a thought get her as drunk as a skunk with one god almighty hangover. Might just do the trick.

Cuddling the bowl is no fun, and you could serve greasy bacon for breakfast.

It is called being cruel to be kind.

get her so rat assed drunk that she throws up for the next week. That'll slow her down. ( God, I hope you don'ty take this answer seriuosly) :-)