17 Answers

Sorry kiddo,sounds kaput to me. I think you would find if you got back together you would eventually separate again after a lot of heartbreak.

Let's face it,some people just are not meant to live together.

Move on.You sound young enough to start again,so do it!

Once again,sorry to be so negative but I have seen it all before.(More than once).It always turns out the same.:)

Sorry ,I too have seen this unfold before. Result is predictable it dont work out . I wish I was writing other words . Some one will cherish you and that nice feeling you have when you are in love will come again . Feel free to ignore  my advice ,but the advice given to you by your little voice is something I would pay attention to . I wish you good luck and happy days .

I would rent ( or buy ) the movie "FireProof" and set a time that you can both watch it with no interruptions, it can change your life.

Good luck and God bless.

Make an appointment with a marriaghe counseller and ask him to go with you, sometimes you need a sounding board, a person that is not emotive or influenced, you can both lay your cards on the table and discuss your issues with peofessional guidence, it may well throw a whole different light on things.It may well be worth working on, maybe it's not but do try.

You are talking about my own past story. I was madly in love with a man and out of the blue he came home one day and just announced he wasn't in love with me and left. We weren't having any problems, everything seemed great so it was a devastating shock and blow. I pined for this guy for months all the while he was out dating and having a great time moving on. One day I realized that I had made the choice to let my life go for someone who not only didn't care to be with me but was not even thinking about me anymore. This is when I lifted my butt off of the couch , joined the gym, cleaned all the things out of the house that took me back to our relationship, burned all the cards and pictures that I had held so tight. I rejoined and celebrated being a woman and started to call my friends and get going. After a few months I started to date and feel great. I was looking top notch finally and really happy to be a single woman. One day he came up behind me and asked how I was. I simply smiled brightly and he could see just how I was. That man followed me around like a lost puppy, showing up at my place claiming to be looking for the stupidest things. Not once did I let on that I too was excited to see him. I continued to go on dates and out with the girls. He would call and invite me over and out and for the most part the answer was either another night or no thanks. I remember telling him many times I was going on a date and knew he was sitting a home thinking about me alone. In the end we did end up together again and he had enough time to see he wasn't needed by me to make him really want to be with me. The thing I'm trying to say is it's when you quit hanging on and sharing those desperate vibes or sad vibes, he will begin to move on and in some cases realize that there just aren't  other women out there like you. By falling in love with who you are as a woman again gives him the chance to see who he fell in love with in the beginning. We all seem to want what we can't have. So put some icing on your cake and decorate it up until you have rediscovered the person you were before. You may even find that he really isn't the one for you after all and have had the chance to fall in love with who "You" are all over again. It's a process but it's really what you should be working on...not a relationship that someone dangles a string and like the faithful kitten you go for it everytime. Let go and get going with your love life girlfriend. Get busy and get going.

Ducky

mom...EXCELLENT!!!!!! What a great account of your experience and SO well written. I admire your tenacity and good of you to pass this along. I hope she reads this and absorbs it. Thank you for sharing.

My Q for u.do u still lobe him? if yes. try to talk to him and start talking about the commen thing that you share. and tell him to face any problems with open mind and think first in your marriege. only then you can save it and keep the life going. try to make your husband not your soul mate but consider him as one soule include both of them. good luck

Separated for 9 months.   We can work on it.    We can't work on it.    He doesn't know.

Okay, is there something else that he needs to say or do to indicate that he is no longer interested in a relationship with you?  You surely cannot be that desparate that you want to keep clinging and begging?  What do you suppose that he has been doing for the past 9 months?  Think about it.

i  am not a psychic.  But i will say if you want your husband back and are having a hard time communicating with him, get a good counselor.  I think counseling is the best thing people can do when their mates cannot hear them for whatever reason.  Good Luck. 

Abstinence makes the heart go wonder..........

Go and see him stop wasting your time on here

Get estimates from attorneys stating roughly how much a divorce will cost.

Why not start small ??  You say there is love ,thats a good start . Forget about the marriage just now and see if you like dating exclusively for the moment. Build on only what you have . Could be you will be wasting time. Who knows. If you love each other then you owe it to yourselves to answer the question : Shall we stay or shall we go. If the whole purpose of this is to honour what you have and answer this question then why not. That's the only thoughts I have on this ,and I hope you found them helpful.

why do you need to show him anything,if he is doing a good job telling you and everybody else confusing messages and i think from what you have said that you  need to move on and get on with your life ,dont let it turn into something you dont want ,eg co dependent relationship then you will only end up hating not only him but yourself you sound better then that good luck 

Ducky

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Nnena  You need to wake up and move on,  People marry when they love each other, when marriage takes different path then it's over. You'll be buying time, to discover reality when its too late remember you are a woman.

Nine months, nine months, you could have a baby in nine months! What's the hold up sink or swim honey. Be bold and make a real decision, if he's wishie washie about it that means that he's getting or got a little on the side from someone else.

Seriously, it's either counseling, real commitment, or the road... If he really loves you he'd be a real man and step up to the plate and work on it. Most of the time when you are getting conflicting stories there is a third party involved, that's probably the real problem here. Don't blame yourself and find out what's really going on. Hope this helps...?

Invite him over and have a bottle of wine , if he drinks of  the wine you know you have him .

obviously there is a reason why you seperated which plays a big part on why you cant decide whether to get back together??