Yvonne,

My heart goes out to you.You are not a loser.  did you know that God created you in His own image?  He does not make losers.  There are many reasons you have the feelings you do.  I have been through what you are feeling.  What I have learned through the help that was offered to me is I am and will always be a child of the creator, our awesome God.  He loves us so much that he sent His Only Son to the cross to forgive our sins.  That means He went to the cross and was crucified for YOU too!!  Every one of us are created in His image.  Do you have access to a bible?  If you do look up John 3:16.  That book is in the New Testament and tells you how much the Lord loves you.  Sometimes abuse can happen to us and because of past circumstances, which we may or may not see we can experience the feelings you are being so honest to share.  I hope this message reaches you and I'll be praying for you and for the Lord's protection around you and your family.  By the way I am 61 as well and have been into those feelings.  Just remember that God Loves You and just ask Him into your heart and He will be there for you.  In fact He is there now loving and caring for you.  He Loves you more than words can ever say and wants only the best for His children, which we all are.  Comfort and Blessings , Kittie