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    If your granddaugher lives 10 min. away but hasen't been to see you in 2 yrs.should you get her a birthday or xmas. gift?

    +2  Views: 895 Answers: 12 Posted: 13 years ago
    Tags: fam
    joannelisa

    follow your conscience

    12 Answers

    At least recognize the occasion by sending a card (this will remind her that you are alive...)....

    How old is your grandaughter? If she is under 18, where are her parents? You didn't say what relationship you have with them. If she is ole enough to know better send her a card " I miss you ! stop over when you can! Love Grandma."  That puts the ball in her court. If you still don't get a response of some kind I would find some other little girl in your area to buy gifts for. Go to a Boys and Girls club, be a mentor. there are plenty of girls out there that need a hug from " grandma".

    yes. if doing that(cards,gifts) is who you are.so continue to be who you are.try not to let the actions,or in-action of others change you. we can only control our own actions. right or wrong that's just  the way life is.

    How about sending a card with a note in it....Please come over for a visit and pick up your present while you're here.

    Yes i would,after all she is your grandchild,regardless if you see her or not.

    Have you ask her to come over and let her know you love her.....

    It is up to you whether or not you want to give a gift.  No one is obligated to give anything to anyone.  I didn't give my 1 year old granddaughter for the birthday she just celebrated in July. If my son or his GF is waiting for a gift, it will be a long wait.  A 1 year old doesn't know the difference. I gave the GF no b'day gift, either.  She knows why.

    Is there some reason YOU couldn't visit HER?  Is there a reason you didn't INVITE her?  If she blew you off, I can undertand being hesitant to send a gift, but, like everyone is telling you, she is your granddaughter, we don't know the circumstances that prevented interaction.

    Bob/PKB

    Very astute. I don't approve of their meth use, her alcoholism, his criminal activities, her taking an ax to his truck and a garden hoe to his head; him punching her to retaliate.....for starters.

    They abandoned their home after selling what they could (a rental). The kitchen sink was full of dirty dishes, etc. complete with bugs and cobwebs, holes in the walls, oven door kicked in, three innocent dogs without food, and the garage FULL of stuff. When I found the birthday gifts the child did get in a black garbage bag sitting on a shelf, I didn't feel so badly about not getting a gift. I did have the party at my house, and they couldn't leave that in the garage. Oh, mommy used meth, drank alcohol, and smoked tobacco products during both pregnancies; the girls have 90% chance of learning and/or social disabilities. Currently they scream; blood-curdling sounds which have no apparent outside stimulus.

    Yes, I have a problem with my son and his GF. We haven't had contact since the first part of August when I went to his preliminary hearing for burglary, possession of controlled substance. He has my phone number. I don't have his. Went through this with him in 2007, complete with court-ordered rehab. At least no kids then. My mother's rental....the carpets had to be removed due to the animal urine and feces that had penetrated it.
    Yep, I have a problem with them. Love them both when they are Dr. Jekyll; must stay away from Mr. Hyde. Her mother interferes non-stop. I create an imperfect balance by staying completely out of their business, not from choice, by necessity. Please accept that without further explanation. I don't lie.

    We are all allowed an opinion; unless there is a bill on Obama's desk banning opinions awaiting his signature. With the grandma who wrote the original question, anything we offer her is based on woefully limited information. Mine is based on what I know from my experience as a grandparent. Hopefully her grandchildren aren't being raised like mine.

    If she is an adult i dont think gifts are expected. If she is a child I beleive you need to visit her.

    Yes a card at least - she is your Grandaughter. Don't pull yourself down to other peoples levels.

    I think that you need to be the hero and go visit, take her a little gift. Oh and like everyone is saying we need to know her age. But no matter what, she is your grandbaby! Maybe someone has said something to her that caused her not to call or come over. Who knows , but you will never know unless you get intouch with her..Do you have other grandchildren? Maybe she feels left out . My mother inlaw has always left my kids out when it comes to her other grands and now that my boys are grown and they also live very close , they have no desire to go visit her. She blames me ,  but I have never talkedd bad or tried to stop her from seeing them. She was the adult in the situation! But because of her dislike for me she allowed time to pass and now my boys are grown men and it still hurts them when they think about how she did not make an effort to see them.Good Luck my friend and dont let time to pass and then something happen to you or her and then one or both of you will end up wondering why!

    Hell no.

    My children hated going to their grandma's house, she is a clean fanatic and made them uncomfortable, they were not allowed to do anything except sit on the lounge and not make a mess, I did however encourage them to see her (in fact at times I downright made them) they are adults now and understand and love her, what are your grandaughters parents doing not to encourage contact ? why not call her and say you have a gift, would love to spend some time with her and ask her what she would like to do, the movies, making cakes, perhaps take her shopping and let her choose her own gift, or whatever. Make it a special and enjoyable time for both of you. But don't let her special day day go without acknowledgment. You are part of her family and and could possibly forge a special bond, make the effort.



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