10 Answers

My sister died last March, two months before her 60th birthday. I know exactly what killer her. No, it didn’t make it any easier………..

When a loved one passes,the first thing we want to know is..... why,when,where,how.And to be not given these answers would make the grieving process that much harder."God works in mysterious ways".Just accept that it was her time to go (easier said than done).It is the only way you are going to find some inner peace for your self.

I doubt anyone here can answer that, maybe it was her time, I know thats small solace, she was far too young to die and Im very sorry to hear someone so young was taken without apparent cause, sometimes things happen that none of us will ever understand, my thoughts are with you and remember the good  times you had with your sister, they are yours to treasure forever

I don't think it makes it easier emotionally; intellectually, we can come to accept it because we have a reason to grasp.  We aren't going to spend our mourning accompanied with contemplating "WHY". 

My mom died at nearly 95 from a multitude of health problems.  It was probably "her time".  Knowing those things, yes, it was easier because it was logical and not totally unexpected or unreasonable.   My dad was 87, in declining health, but the REASON he died was NOT acceptable to me (and still isn't, nearly 13 years later). I mourn for him now much more than then.  

I'm very sorry your sister died,Chell.  I think it's easier to accept a loved one's death if it's natural and not shrouded in mystery.  A close g.friend of mine that lived in Buffalo, N.Y. died a few years ago just after she had turned  39. the M.E. said it was a heart attack, But we, her friends, know better. We know that she was going to a shrink who kept changing her psych pills, and that can make a person have a seizure or die. Plus, she was doing yo yo dieting, and taking care of both her elderly parents by herself. We had talked to each other everyday for years and got each other thru a lot of rough times. On summer, she came to Michigan to see me.   :' (

I don't know if it makes it 'easier'.  What I do know is that 'knowing' answers a question. We humans are very curious. Very often we cannot rest until an answer shows itself. When we get answers to things, then we can start thinking about something else.  Think about areas of study, science, medicine, psychology, space exploration etc.  We pick fields of study because we want the answer. Einstein worked hard to find various answers. When something peaks your curiosity, you keep looking until you get the answer.  Our little curious brains just like to know . . . the answer to . . . what, why, when.

Ducky

It's also the reason people continue to question religion/God as well. Some of the questions are un-answerable and always will be...until the end.

chelleanne - yes it is so extremely diffficult when you do no know why a loved one dies - especially so young - it is always a painful experience and more so when there seems to be no established reason. I recently watched a number of autopsies - and these can be quite often inconclusive but I found it strange when things were discovered which could have been diagnosed via a simple blood test. The dying of a loved one can be enchanced by not knowing why but the pain can been equally painful for those who do know why - a question which is often asked anyway by those who know. I am so sorry for your loss.    

Eventually, we leave everything we do not need.  

I think every death has a cause -- even old old people have a cause on their death certificate. I'm thinking who do you ask ... your doctor would be a good choice. 

I'm not positive about this death certificate thing ... but it's something for you to follow up. I believe it's very important to know why someone died.Vital. You need to know if it's something that is hereditary. If it is, you will have to take the right steps of protect your health. 

My husband was a funeral counselor and I worked in offices of mortuaries for several years. We learned some things there.

Could someone have altered the death certificate so you wouldn't be even more upset.

I'm sorry about your loss. Good luck in your search for your answer.

Bless your heart . I am so sorry for your loss , and I think that if you know what causes someone to die it  does make it a little easier to accept . But still the loss is still hard and I hope you can get through this . Think of all the good times you had with her and pray for peace . I am praying for you my friend Love and Good things will be sent your way.