bbeebs
1 how to console my son who is a grown man .2. had his rat terrier pu to sleep at the vet today iwas with him and frien.3. dog of 15yrs.4. name prissy. 5 had a tumour in her chest near heart...6 she could not be saved.7 alot of emotional sadness fromm lots of friends..8lots of prayer8.upset in the community.....please answer soon...
6 Answers
pythonlover
jhharlan
Pick him up a copy of: HOW TO SURVIVE THE LOSS OF A LOVE. This book is good for any kind of loss be it human or animal (or monetary....) It will guide him through all the grieving steps.....
| 12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
that book helped me after the break- up of the guy I was going with before I met my husb
jraynium
This is perhpas not the answer you wanted, but you got 2 great answers already which will help you. However, I feel that if your son is a grown man, it is time he learned to cope with these issues without his Mum. It is very hard to let go of your children, but he needs to stand on his own 2 feet and to make his own way in this hard world, if you don't let him, he'll never learn and he'll always have problems. If you really love him, you have to let him go, he just needs to know how much you love him and that you will always be there if he really needs you, but he doesn't need you looking over his shoulder managing his life for him. If this sounds too difficult, you should think about expanding your social life - without your son. Get out, mix with new people, go to clubs, classes, etc, make new friends - and try to stop worrying about him. Trust him.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 5 | |
Sorry, I have to disagree. I was in my 40's when my little fox terrier who I had for 21 years passed away. I called my mother and father while I held her as she died. It would have been worse for me I think if I had not had their voices and yes even their tears as I and my little dog went through this. Now before you think I'm not grown up or that I depend on my parents for everything, you are wrong. I come form a family of 8 children. We were raised to be independent and not to look to our parents for help. At that time I only saw my parents every so many years (5 or more years could go by before I actually saw them again) and I spoke to my mother on the phone maybe once a month. I needed my parents and they were there. This mom saw her son hurting and wanted to be there for him. You're telling her that's bad. I think you need to grow a heart. You are too cold. Tough love is not for the hurting.
YES...TOTALLY AGREE @Colleen...Sorry @jkraynium..but I have to say that.."Get out..get social life to me that`s Boll**ks!!...Support your kids emotionally at any age..doesn`t mean you make them a Mummy`s boy..just your kid who is going through an often agonizing loss!..You have to have pets to know/understand just how bereft you can feel at the loss of one of them!...Here in the delightful U.K...we have phonelines and help for distraught people who can lose the will to live at such a loss!..(May sound crazy to you...but some people love their pets THAT MUCH)!!..I do!!!:-0
@ jayranium this is not a question about a break up of a relationship, even if it was, a mother can still be there to console her son, grown man or not.You have said to her if you really love him, you have to let him go.Go where ?Then you say she has to show how much she loves him, and to be there if he needs her.This is exactly what she is trying to do.This man is grieving the loss of a beloved pet, he needs comforting words and support through this sad time.Sometimes loosing a pet can be just as traumatic as loosing a family member.
millie111
digger
How old is your adult son?
| 12 years ago. Rating: 2 | |
If being 21 or 61 makes no difference to you,then you both need a reality check. She made no mention of the son being a special needs person. If he's 61,there are bigger issues about him for her to worry about than the passing of a dog,for Pete's sake.
Sorry, can't agree digger. I am distraught each time I loss a pet. They are real love. Not just animals. Age does not matter where love is concerned. I typically cry worse over my pets than I do people. I did not shed a tear when my father died. Now you may believe I need help because of that but I think you need help seeing the beauty in all living things. Nature gives us beauty and love better than mankind ever will.
What exactly is a worse issue she needs to be there for if he were 61?
What exactly is a worse issue she needs to be there for if he were 61?
If you value the life of an animal over that of a fellow human being, I do indeed consider THAT troublesome. You can jump to the convenient conclusion that I must be an animal hater, if you choose. Nothing is further from the truth.
About 10 years ago, I had our family pet dog euthanized. It was a very sad day and week that followed for all family members, especially my then teenaged son who grew up with the loveable pet. I also lost my mother 16 years ago.
In the case of my mother, I took a bereavement week off work to settle things and to mourn her passing. I needed that time off. In the case of our pet's passing, I was back to work the following day. Yes, it was a tough day but such is life.
I do consider it rather strange when humans rank pets over other fellow human beings. Very strange.
About 10 years ago, I had our family pet dog euthanized. It was a very sad day and week that followed for all family members, especially my then teenaged son who grew up with the loveable pet. I also lost my mother 16 years ago.
In the case of my mother, I took a bereavement week off work to settle things and to mourn her passing. I needed that time off. In the case of our pet's passing, I was back to work the following day. Yes, it was a tough day but such is life.
I do consider it rather strange when humans rank pets over other fellow human beings. Very strange.
I didn't say I valued an animal's life over a humans. My father was not worth crying over, even if he was a human. My dogs of 21 years, who was always there for me and complained about nothing, not even when she was sick, I cried for.
I also did not call you or infer that you are an animal hater.
Pets treat humans better than humans do. You should take the time to notice that if you ever have another or notice it in the one you may have now.
I also did not call you or infer that you are an animal hater.
Pets treat humans better than humans do. You should take the time to notice that if you ever have another or notice it in the one you may have now.
mycatsmom
you can sympathise with him, but you can't really console him....b/c he is a grown man, And he is beyond his mother needing to console him. That's his wife's job. Or really, it's his own job to console himself.
| 12 years ago. Rating: 1 | |
Wow, you too? What makes you people think adult males hurt less than say, anyone? Why is it only the wife's job to console a man? What if the man has no wife? Does he then not get consoled by anyone? I think it's time we move away from the old fashioned cold way of treating a man who has feelings too.
Now the next time you're hurting, try consoling yourself and let me know how it goes. Man or woman, we are all people and we all hurt and bleed.
Now the next time you're hurting, try consoling yourself and let me know how it goes. Man or woman, we are all people and we all hurt and bleed.
@mcm..@Digger..@Colleen...I`m shocked by MCM`s RESPONSE:-?...And Digger...insensitive or what??...:-0...I`m yet to meet a real pet lover who doesn`t grieve when their pet/s die!...Most people consider their pets as VERY much part of the family...Some people do love their pets more than people...and to some..(Young or Old)!...Their pets are their main/only companions!!How can anyone really believe that people don`t suffer huge loss and grief at the death of their loyal,loved and loving pets??...I see it more of a weakness at the views of ANYONE who belittle grief of any kind???...(To me..not grieving a loss is WEIRD)!!!:-(
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