14 Answers

It seems like only yesterday we were calling today tomorrow. 

Am I self-centered or is it just me?

Ducky

That's exactly what I was thinking. :)

QUOTE: Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls

                                    "This question is driving me crazy!"

"We must find the cause of this effect, or rather this defect, for this effect defective must have cause

With a name like "LAV" I was just wondering where you are when you read this.

Ducky

We can only guess and of course, we will. lol

When a man and a woman want to have children they hug in a special way.Good to say to children if and when they ask the question.

I did say I have many quotes - I will have to look them out - I write them down and most importantly forget to write who said it.

Two Jewish jokes:- told to me by Orthodox Jewish people: A man visits another man to ask him how he became so rich - the man said to him take a seat and then blew out his candle and the other man said why did you do that - he said to show you how I became so rich.

Jewish man goes to the synagogue and said to God please help me I am so poor and I have to feed my family help me to win the lottery - God says I will help you - the man returns after a few weeks and says to God you said you would help me I am so poor and God says I am trying to help you but it would help if you bought a ticket.    

A  boy  ran up to Little Johnny and said,  Your dog is chasing someone riding a bicycle.

Little Johnny said it can't be my dog,  he  doesn't  know how to ride a bicycle.

You may have heard this or a version of it.......................

Little Johnny was in the church vistable looking at the plaques on the wall when the Pastor came up to Little Johnny and said These Plaques are in memory of those who died in service.

Little Johnny then asked, Was that the morning service or evening service?

Love it!!  The thought of a cat driving a car I find hilarious,  Maybe because they are so meticulous and you cannot be meticulous while driving a car!!

A rough looking old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'
He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian!'

One time I was at a James Brown concert in Lake Tahoe, Nevada.  I had asked James Brown if I could take a picture of him.  He said yes.  My camera would not take it.  James Brown said, "If you're going to take the picture, take the picture."  I figured out that my battery was dead.   But I did end up getting the pictures after I purchased new batteries.

Yeah don't take any wooden nickels.