38 Answers (1-30 Displayed)

I asked this question well over a year ago, georgewill. It's behind me now. FWB isn't what I want for myself.

Commented 12 years ago

Ducky

Note: This question from four years ago, has been more than sufficiently answered and is now locked. Thank you for your understanding. Moderator Ducky.

Commented 9 years ago

38 Answers (1-30 Displayed)

Jenn

Karma: 194594

Best answer!

I think weman can do this. For men it is a hit it and quit it kind of affair. After they saticfy their curiousity they are no longer interested.

I have tried twice with the same result. I lost 2 very good friends.

13 years ago. Rating: 15

Jenn, how long have you been married ?

commented 13 years ago

Jenn

17 years.... This was before I was married.

commented 13 years ago

AldeWicht

lol wemen XD

commented 12 years ago

tsk tsk Aldewicht

commented 10 years ago

daren1

Karma: 724049

sure i have sex with my best friend for the last 25 years, my wife...

13 years ago. Rating: 25

Yep ... Me too.
Daren ... I didn't mean with YOUR wife.

commented 13 years ago

Ducky

Glad that you two have that one clarified!!

commented 12 years ago

daren1

had me worried , now it's the milkman i got to look out for..

commented 12 years ago

or someone in the midtown market, daren. : )

commented 11 years ago

Ann

Karma: 477486

I think it would be very uncomfortable for both of you once you crossed that line.

13 years ago. Rating: 24

Ann, you are right. At least for me, I have had an underlying uncomfortable feeling and sadness at the damage done to the platonic part of our friendship way more than the sex part. But Jenn's answer really leaves me with no doubt.

commented 13 years ago

melandrupert

Karma: 450325

NOPE

13 years ago. Rating: 20

Clear ... easy to understand ... and I think you are right. So right.

commented 10 years ago

ed shank

Karma: 316611

I can only speak for myself. For me it wouldn't work. I don't have many friends (real friends). I would never compromise a friendship for a roll in the rack. We've all had opportunities. There's also a moral issue here as well.

13 years ago. Rating: 20

zorro

Ive been waiting for your answer here Ed. Right on.

commented 13 years ago

ed shank

Thanx zorro.

commented 13 years ago

Wish I'd have asked the question beforehand. Your assessment is valuable.

commented 13 years ago

Spaceghost

Karma: 105601

No it doesn't work.

13 years ago. Rating: 20

matheneyg

Karma: 90656

I don't think so why ! because to me once sex is involved the rules of the game change

13 years ago. Rating: 20

michmar118

Very True!!!

commented 13 years ago

zorro

Karma: 182125

yes as long as keep having sex, friendship ends when sex stops. Think about it.

13 years ago. Rating: 19

I see your point.

commented 13 years ago

Yvonne57

Karma: 71260

I'm sorry it didn't work out for you Bob/PKB. Were your expectations too high afterward? Did you expect it to go further? You left yourself wide open (no pun intended) to be hurt by thinking that maybe it could be more. You had all these fantasies before you made love and now the whole ugly truth is out there, warts and all. Take it as a lesson learned. Be yourself next time you see him and move on. No need to beat yourself up any longer. Take Care yvonne57

13 years ago. Rating: 19

Hi Yvonne57! Actually my expectations were that we would enjoy having sex once in awhile. We agreed that as long as it didn't affect our friendship, we'd try it. He started it and he stopped it. I did not expect or want anything serious with him (not a good prospect and almost 15 years younger than me). We still do stuff together, but the real intimacy (not the physical) feels gone, and I miss that more than the sex. I am always cheerful and friendly when we are together and keep my hurt well-hidden. Thank you for your thoughtful response.

commented 13 years ago

pythonlover

Karma: 797301

They call it.... "Friends with Benefits".

13 years ago. Rating: 17

good plug for that movie that's out now.

commented 13 years ago

Chiangmai

Karma: 370260

Not only do I think it's not very possible for someone you are intimate with to still be a friend, but also I don't think it's practical for someone you once were intimate with to be a good friend thereafter.

13 years ago. Rating: 16

I think you are probably right. It is getting harder to feel good about this "friend'. I really enjoyed the friendship; it was very close. WAS.

commented 13 years ago

carmaxable

amen!

commented 13 years ago

There is such a thing as mutual feelings - like Jenn said maybe some men see this differently and do not have the same priorities.

commented 9 years ago

Karma: 393700

not a good idea. Someone's going to get hurt.

13 years ago. Rating: 15

franklin5

Karma: 30870

i think sex is a very private and intimate thing between 2 people.that should be treated with the utmost respect.which means caring about how the other person feels.

13 years ago. Rating: 15

Guess I'll hold out for an adult next time.

commented 13 years ago

franklin5

good idea bob....

commented 13 years ago

Papitou

Karma: 11769

Sex + friendship = relationship.

13 years ago. Rating: 15

TOUCHE. What better way to "ruin" a friendship!
Someone once told me, "Friends you keep; lovers you lose".
Thinking we should choose our lovers carefully. Relationships often dissolve where friendships live til death do you part.

commented 13 years ago

Papitou

Well, that depends on the case. Sometimes the relationship lasts forever and brings a new, loving family into this world. It all depends on what you make of things.

commented 13 years ago

I think the order is confusing some here - Papitou - lovely name.

commented 9 years ago

missactive

Karma: 21990

Be cautious and accept the possibility that sleeping with your friend might fracture or end your friendship, is it worth it? On the other hand such action might mark the beginning of a beautiful, premanent romance, good luck!

13 years ago. Rating: 14

Yvonne57

Hello missactive, seems like you are new here? Nice comment. Glad to have you on board. regards/yvonne57

commented 13 years ago

missactive

Thank you Yvonne57 for your welcome greeting, forgive my delayed response, its taken a while to find my way around!

commented 13 years ago

choppedtrump

Karma: 9140

never end good lost a very good friend like that once wont ever do it agin

13 years ago. Rating: 14

Really appreciate your input. You've been there and done that. Thank you for sharing.

commented 13 years ago

FISH-O

Karma: 954810

When I was single this came up quite a few times but I just couldn't imagine getting naked with a friend. That would change everything...just too strange. What if I found out about something I didn't want to know or worse...what if they did?

13 years ago. Rating: 13

FISH-O - Just so funny - this is the way it can work - you like, you don't like - it's just physical.

commented 9 years ago

michmar118

Karma: 54405

Your lover can become your friend, but your friend cannot become your lover, ........................if you want to keep a true friend.

13 years ago. Rating: 12

Yep. We are still friends, but I have a problem with it. I keep so much inside me and build passive resentment. Eventually I am the one who will walk away from this relationship. Too bad.

commented 13 years ago

banksizit

Karma: 10063

it is possible. But I do believe that the sex part always comes up between a guy and a girl. Some of the best sex I have had was with a girl that was a friend first. And the longer we were friends before the sex, the better the sex was.

13 years ago. Rating: 12

My best relationships have been with men who were friends first. Nine years with one and 17 with the other. (married the second one and had three children)

commented 13 years ago

Karma: 393700

usually when a woman says she wants to be friends with a man, that means she DOESN'T want to have sex with him.

13 years ago. Rating: 11

Jenn

I have been married for 17 years... Why do you ask? The "friends" were before I was married. But I still miss them.

commented 13 years ago

mycatsmom - this is true - there has to be some chemistry there - but we can still be friends.

commented 9 years ago

robertgrist

Karma: 279491

There is a technique that I use to be as close to another person as sex can bring you but without sex.You don’t even have to remove your clothing. Place your right hand palm in the center of the other persons chest and with your left hand guide the right hand palm to the center of your chest. The change hands. It’s simple but effective. The degree if intimacy achieved by this technique is shocking if you have not done this before, or have lived without touching anyone. Sufi dances have this as part of their getting-to-know-you circle dance…so if you are familiar with this you know.

13 years ago. Rating: 11

Robert, who are the ''sufi '' ?

commented 13 years ago

robertgrist

I like religion and have studied many. Sufi is mystic Islam. The site I choose is nicely factual on the subject.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sufism

commented 13 years ago

I have studied many religions too, and all signs keep pointing back to Christianity ,b/c it is the only religion that teaches you how to love and be loved. It teaches you that God loves you and to forgive your enemies, just like the Lord in heaven has forgiven you.

commented 13 years ago

robertgrist

We agree. Christianity does not seek to formularize religion or produce precise guidelines as other belief systems do. But then too, every religion on the planet has been crudely hacked into acceptable forms to such an extent that it is often difficult to comprehend the motivation or intent of the original writers.

commented 13 years ago

robertgrist - Wow, that is amazing, I have to pass this on and look into it, thankyou.

commented 9 years ago

Yvonne57

Karma: 71260

Yes, if you truly like each other first and have know each other a long time.

13 years ago. Rating: 11

franklin5

i don,t get your thinking on this,,,yvonne57

commented 13 years ago

PANDA

Karma: 57580

" I can maintain anything while having sex."

13 years ago. Rating: 11

Love the double meaning.

commented 13 years ago

PANDA

"Thank-you."

commented 13 years ago

I love it too! - easier for a woman I guess.

commented 9 years ago

leosmaml

Karma: 92420

think its a line you shouldnt cross,unless you want to lose your friend

13 years ago. Rating: 10

coccodrillo

Karma: 525

frenship and sex no mix and why anyone in his or her right mind ,want to even consider or even thing about having sex with a friend ,I personally thing NO both sides will loose and then friendship will be lost for sure and at at the end you will have nothing

13 years ago. Rating: 10

You thought this through well. Wish I could say the same for me.

commented 13 years ago

ROMOS

Karma: 2300395

Wish I,d been here when this was asked, the answer would be a definite NO,no way, NEVER the same.

12 years ago. Rating: 5

I wish I'd asked you before it became an issue, because as far as I am concerned, you are right.

commented 12 years ago

ROMOS - Hi - This is entirely dependent on how strong the Friendship was - I feel this can go on and have done this. Hope you and CB are well miss you. Perhaps some men see this from a different perspective, like Jenn suggested.

commented 9 years ago

Karma: 258971

My husband and I are good friends. I’m absolutely positive it can happen.

12 years ago. Rating: 4

Hello itsmee - I absolutely agree with you.

commented 9 years ago

michmar118

Karma: 54405

I'm sorry for you, we do learn things the hard way sometimes, but we ARE learning!! ; )

13 years ago. Rating: 4

figtree3

Karma: 90050

No. I will never fall for that again!

12 years ago. Rating: 2