Karma: 210

What would you do if you only met your father once? And you are now in your 50's

If you are 53 years old and you only met your father once when you were 14 would you search him out and find out why he abandoned you and your 2 brothers and started a new family? What if you had health issues that you wanted to know if they came from his side of the family?

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+4 Views: 1994 Answers: 20 Posted: 13 years ago

Tags: fatherfindabandon

mat21225

If the father is serious and interested in a relationship, then make the opportunity happen. Could be a wonderful blessing for you both.

Commented 13 years ago

169rebecca

My father would come back because he loved his family so much. I once asked my mother this; also he really loved her and was very dependent on her as she was on him. Also he really loved his family. We were all together and when he announced it in church he was crying, However, if he really left us, I'd search him out to get health information for me and my siblings. He always believe when I was diagnosed with MS that it came from his family.

Commented 13 years ago

169rebecca

If my father wanted a relationship I would welcome it and seek to develop it. His reason probably would eventually come up but his return and reestablishing a relation ship would be primary.

Commented 13 years ago

20 Answers

Ann

Karma: 477486

You are thinking about it and probably carried that chip on your schoulder for a long time. Its time you looked him up and ask him the Questions you always wanted to know. Better late than never. Best of luck!

13 years ago. Rating: 3
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leeroy

T.u. Ann, nice and wise answer...

commented 13 years ago

Ann

Thanks leroy.

commented 13 years ago

leeroy

Karma: 199220

I believe that family is family no matter what, when you disown a family member it only causes you anger inside, it hurts you more than the other person. Forgive or try to forgive everyday and you will feel much better inside.

I think you should try to get to know him, what do you have to loose? It will do you some good psychologically to know that you at least attempted to make an effort. Good luck, hope this helps?

13 years ago. Rating: 3
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schubee

Karma: 28785

Go with what your heart tells you to do, not your brain.

13 years ago. Rating: 3
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ed shank

Karma: 316611

I know your pain, I'm sixty today and have never seen mine either.I found out at the age of 12 and not one day has gone by where I don't ask that same question. Why?

13 years ago. Rating: 2
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matheneyg

Thats why I strongly advise to try and find out I was lucky I found out before it was too late and today we have a pretty good relationship he's 88 I'm 63

commented 13 years ago

matheneyg

Karma: 90656

Yes I would I donot know of what the circumstances were , but there may have been some not all his fault you owe it to yourself to find out why befor it's too late and you will always wonder what was the reason then after its too late

13 years ago. Rating: 2
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mcgerson

Karma: 45

I'd immediately take him to the Phillies game(s). I'd buy the Hot Dogs too!

13 years ago. Rating: 2
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IamPamela313

Karma: 225060

Don't you think your mother or a closer relative can help you with your question regarding health issues?

13 years ago. Rating: 1
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TSC

Karma: 101452

Don't want to hurt your feelings but if my father only saw me once at 14 and hasn't bothered since I would have long realised he didn't give a hoot if he knew me at 53 and moved on.

13 years ago. Rating: 1
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gary

Karma: 11008

If you really don't know the reason he left ask him. I've watch the reality show "The Locator" and in most cases, the mother either lied to her children or negated the father's existence by refusing visitation rights granted via the courts. And in one case the aunt and grandmother refused to tell the daughter the truth..............it was the mother's fault.

13 years ago. Rating: 1
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mcgerson

Karma: 45

I would takwe hin the the Phillis nezxt entire homestand and have a blast with my Dad. This time I'll buy ythe hordoags.

13 years ago. Rating: 1
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marlen

goforit

commented 13 years ago

martinhob

Karma: 45

why bother with him now,he didn't want to know then so what is the point of getting to know somebody that didn't give a dam in the first place.

13 years ago. Rating: 1
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irockbieberfever

Karma: 30

That means he dont really need kids sorry to say that.i feel the same way

13 years ago. Rating: 1
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fungogi

Karma: 15

I'd want to know everything I could learn about him, his other children (if any), his parents, siblings...anything in HIS life that could impact my children and my life....and WHY did he fall out of my life?
A relationship might be impossible, but I'd try to build one.

13 years ago. Rating: 1
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worm

Karma: 15

Say it about time. Get to know one another. Start now a lot time wasted.

13 years ago. Rating: 1
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Chiangmai

Karma: 370260

Go in without any preconceived notion and give him a chance to open up. Let him explain everything to you before you come to any conclusion. Perhaps things are not as bad as you had been thinking for the las 53 years. I would concentrate on enjoying each other's company rather than placing the blame on him.